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To be "human" is to be many things and to deal with with even more. To be "human" is to hurt, to lose, to bear burden, to struggle, to fight, to wither, to die...
Many of us, hell, likely every person who's ever graced God's green Earth has spent our time, our money, our energy, and anything else we have in order to avoid dealing with these things at some point or another. There are some people who have likely spent their entire life resisting these things, fighting them, trying to avoid them, running from them, and anything else they can to get away from them.
Imagine spending your entire life, no, every moment of your entire life fighting to be anything but what you are.
With everything that comes with being human, there is one thing that truly defines us as a race, and even individuals:
To be human is to be imperfect.
We have flaws, we make mistakes, we want, we need, we are to a large degree incomplete. If there was any way to accurately describe the life of every single person, this would likely be it.
The human race consumes billions of pounds of food every day. We consume billions of liters of water daily. We consume resources at a rate to which no species of animal can compare. We are CONSTANTLY seeking more. More wealth, more fun, more excitement, more security, more time, more stuff, more life.
We strive to be whole. We strive to be complete. We strive to be perfect. The truth of the matter is, we never feel complete on our own.
We do not seem to have it in ourselves to find perfection in and of ourselves. Even with all the food we could ever eat, all the water we could ever drink, all the wealth we could ever spend, all the fun we could ever have, all the excitement that we can take(before we have a heart attack), all the stuff we could ever use, completion, or perfection(or whatever you choose to call it) remains outside of our grasp.
When it's all said and done, the search for those things reflects where we look to find what makes us feel complete...
Other people.
We look to others to define who we are, what we're worth, how much better or worse our life is, what makes us happy, what we want, what we need. We look to others to tell us that we're complete, that we're whole, and that we are finally "enough".
We look to others for, ding, ding, ding... acceptance.
That 100 inch plasma screen that's 60 inches too wide to fit in your door, that Bentley with climate controlled seats and convertible roof, that four story mansion with twelve bedrooms, eight bathrooms, two kitchens and an indoor basketball court, that four thousand dollar D&G suit with matching belt, shoes, sunglasses, and french cuffs on the shirt, all of that is in search of acceptance.
Wait, maybe I didn't hit close enough to home.
That new tv, those new chrome rims, that new house, that new piece of furniture, that new pair of shoes, that new peacock gear, that new dating e-book, that new bootcamp, that new routine, that new line, all of that is in search of acceptance.
Our motivation for those things is largely part of our desire for others to look at us and say "look at what he has, look how complete his life must be, look how complete he must be".
The sad part about this is, the same way others look at us and would like what we have, no matter what we have, we look to others with more than what we have, wanting to feel as complete as they seem.
A part of being human is looking to others who are complete for acceptance so we can feel complete, yet the more we search for it, the more stuff we buy, the more people we seem to convince that we have it all, the more we seem to need in order to feel complete. We're all looking at each other to get what we need to feel whole, yet none of us do.
Why?
Imagine spending your entire life, no, every moment of your entire life fighting to be anything but what you are.
Imagine what life is like when you struggle with being human, when you resist who you are, and when you don't accept yourself.
You will always be looking for others for acceptance, yet you will never find quite enough to be complete, yet you will always be drawn to the people who seem to need your acceptance(or anyone else's for that matter) the least, because THEY ALREADY ACCEPT THEMSELVES.
The people that come to terms with being human, and that they will never be "complete", and that they will never be perfect, are the people who accept themselves as they are right now, and regardless of how much or little they have, they are already "enough".
So, the question is what is this to you?
Everything.
It is everything you deal with every single day. It's everything you deal with when you interact with people. It's everything you deal with in your relationships. It's everything you deal with when you meet new women.
Have approach anxiety? Why? What more do you need to feel like you're enough to go after whoever you want? A better car? That extra couple of dollars an hour? That new shirt? Those new lines? That new routine? That new method?
We worry about what she thinks of our approach, how she'll respond to our advances, whether or not she'll be attracted to us, whether or not we can bag her or not, and practically everything that can possibly happen. We deeply need her acceptance before we ever speak one word to her.
This is what holds us back.
How can we expect anyone to accept us when we don't even accept ourselves?
At some point, you have to accept that you are everything you need, that you are already enough, and that the woman in front of you craves your acceptance and looks to you to feel complete.
The women you desire look to you for acceptance. They need that from you. You simply have to have first before you can give.
If you need anything to feel like you're "enough" to have the woman that's in front of you, then you will never feel like you're enough.
Stop fighting the fact that you're a human being. It's alright if you feel like you're not perfect. Having flaws just makes you equal to everyone else. Accepting that gives you something more that few people have.
One of the most difficult issues that human beings suffer with in their life on this planet is amazingly enough, being human.
