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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=86480&fid=146&FirstTopic=180&LastTopic=209
During the times I ponder, I have finally grasped that there is a huge complexity when it comes to women. Personally, this process is 50% understanding women, and the other 50% understanding yourself. I think about how during the initial approach they put up shields, say things like "I'm running late to class" or "I have a boyfriend", or you get the other side of the spectrum, where if you ask them how their day was they can very welcoming and say "good. What's up?" (this happened to me on a cold approach today...and you know what I did? The opposite of what situation presented, I ejected)
I have come to understand that women are "wired" to find the best possible mate. The scientific support of this theory lies in the fact that they have a definite amount of eggs, and when choosing a mate, consistency and reliability on the part of the male mate are important factors. In the field of sexology, this is from the school of thought of the "Essentialists."
Knowing this, it becomes easier to not only understand, but identify when a woman is testing a man. It's a risky business for her, thus she must make sure her investment has a good return.
By now some of you might be saying "Why the hell is he talking about eggs and essentialists and just going on and on about what he thinks?" Because I feel that people that enter the community (newbies like you and me) focus too much on techniques, on stacking openers, what to say here and what to say there. Yet, can you rely on what you memorize for EVERY situation?
The tendency for challenges like PUA is to choose the path of least resistance. Given that the PUA journey is a very difficult one, this tendency holds especially true. I argue that this mentality is short-term thinking that creates a symptomatic solution to a fundamental problem. Rather, in engaging in this process we have to look for a fundamental solution that albeit more challenging, slower, and frustrating, will ultimately create a general understanding of women and set up the correct patterns for becoming an alpha male». The process will be more rewarding in the end.
Now I understand, some people who enter the community in their late 20's and early 30's have different pressures than me, a 17- year old. The days seem shorter, and the desire for a family is prevalent. In that sense, I do not, at least intentionally, pass judgement on how you choose to go along through these process, and I respect the fact that you have engaged in a journey towards self- improvement. For that reason, my message is guided more towards younger newbies, those who are between 16 and 25 or around these ages. We have a whole life ahead of us, why rush success with women while never truly understanding them? Why not use the women in your life to understand the women out there?
Let me give you an example. An HB9 who I fooled around with a couple of weeks ago and I are friends now. Why? I LJBFed her after I realized that we have different standards for relationships. She is a hardcore Christian and reserves sex as something incredibly special. Instead, I believe sex is a deciding factor on whether I can have a relationship with a woman. Both ideologies conflicted. I was not about to spend my time to convince this girl to lose her virginity with me just to have her feel not only guilty (as most surveys have proven), but also that she betrayed her religion. Thus, I moved on to other fishes in the vast ocean in which I live in. But does that mean I have to discard her? Why? Because she is religious? Because she believes in something? She is an amazing girl that makes me laugh, I'm ok with a friendship, as it is not the AFC type friendship where you will always want to have sex with her, but rather a friendship in which by analyzing her behavior and casually spending time with her I can better understand how women think.
The second thing I have thought about. People become too serious about this process, often missing the fun they can have with women and neglecting bigger aspects in her life. I realized today while I went out and sarged. Surprisingly for some, this was the first time I had gone out for the SOLE PURPOSE of meeting women. I completely sucked and my AA went up to pre-college levels. I now understand why. I put too much pressure on myself. I was also with a wing, so not only did I put pressure on myself, but I also had the pressure to perform, and to make sure that I helped his game as well. All of this completely overwhelmed me. Women just passed by, TONS of women, and I just stood there. The only time I approached was when my wing went and approached a lonewolf, and even then I was PRESSURED to open a girl and even though I had the girl (see second paragraph) I ejected. On the other hand, when I have been doing my thing, sometimes I just feel so good I just want to talk to people, I just want to tell a woman that I like her jacket, or make fun of her for wearing flip flops while it's hailing. It seems so effortless when there is no pressure. The openers don't matter, nothing else but the girl matters ( I just fuck up in the closing part of the interaction...but that's a whole different story haha) Sarging might be beneficial for quick short-term improvement. But the way I see it, just getting in the habit of having your own agenda, but stopping along the way to interact with a woman and having those interactions BE GENUINE is much more fruitful in the long run, even if this means that you might progress slower.
The other point I see and that fortunately a lot of people here in mASF have identified is people's over dedication to PUA. That motivation and desire to improve is good, it's an awesome thing. At the same time, why should we limit that energy into PU only. Instead, we should use that energy in our jobs, hobbies, education, and other stuff that will overall make us more interesting and that we can tell our kids we did (all 1,000 of them...jk use a glove) I won't go into detail about this point as it has been covered enough, but felt it was worth mentioning.
It's definitely weird. Knowing that when you are sitting at the comfort of your house just relaxing and thinking about PUA; ideas and understanding of the game starts to "settle." This happens more often after you get out on the field or have more consistent interactions with women and reflect upon them.
There are a lot of assumptions I'm making when I write this. I'm assuming that learning techniques and solely outer game stuff won't do much for your inner development or anything in the long term. I can't confirm this. Yet these assumptions come from reading posts from different types of people. People like NVP whom I never met, but from the way he describes his interactions with women, he genuinely feels something special for them, EACH one of them. This I believe to be more difficult than using the sickest routine to get a 3'some. Why? Because while the 3'some might be quite the challenge itself, having this type of mentality combines two juxtaposing ideas: The idea of believing a woman is very special, and the idea of sharing your awesome self with a multitude of people. These ideas have become bipolar in our society, yet people with this attitude seem to get the best out of everyone, and in the process the best out of themselves. I might be bordering on the idealistic and the philosophical, but I firmly believe that these attitudes outreach beyond the concept of PUA and can improve our society. Imagine that, not only being able to get the woman that we desire or becoming the man we always wanted to become, but the ability to better society. I hoped that whether you liked my points or not, or even like me at all, you have taken away something from reading this. This is a reflection of my inner thoughts when I interact with a woman. I'm not scared when I'm building rapport anymore, I'm fascinated. When they resist kissing, but smile, it confuses me, but the fact that I have to figure out the right buttons to push excites me. Granted, my sticking point in this whole thing really is the approach. But I am not in a hurry, I'm glad of the advantages I have and plan to use it to become a solid individual, inside and out. My wish is for all of those who are in my place right now to think about where they are going, and what they want, figure out if their approach is symptomatic or fundamental and figure out what's best for them. My argument has been made. Now let's all go enjoy women and show them our best selves.
