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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=88955&fid=8&FirstTopic=180&LastTopic=209
So I always see a lot of shit about positivity and about keeping positive vibes and trying to do this and that. And I kind of nod my head and agree most of the time, just because it seems right on the surface and to disagree with positivity means that you're being negative, which means that you can't be positive. So that's tough to do. Right?
I'm not so sure really. To be honest, I don't think that complete positivity is the answer. Complete positivity, by nature, is very energy-demanding. It requires that you take any situation and turn it around and say, "Well my dog died, but at least I can save money on dog food now." It's just not realistic and practical to be positive at all times. Especially because the second that you feel yourself dipping, you start to think that you're doing something wrong, which in turn, depresses you even more. Having the mindset that you have to always be happy and upbeat just isn't the way to go.
I might get a little flak for this, but I really think that you don't have to be positive all the time. Negativity isn't bad. We don't always have to be thinking, "Man, that girl is missing out on me," or "I deserve only the best girl ever!" Sometimes it's alright to say, "Fuck, that sucked. I'm a fucking idiot."
Now, I realize that this goes against a lot of conventional wisdom. Positive thoughts bring positive result, etc. and on and on. But I really think that negative thoughts are ok. And I'm about to qualify this, so everyone who's getting your angry responses ready, chill out for like 4 more paragraphs or so.
But I think that in order to truly see where we need to improve shit and in order to help ourselves, we have to be completely honest with ourselves. We aren't perfect. We don't deserve a perfect girl just because we exist. The world isn't perfect. So stop pretending it is.
The way to go about this is rather simple to explain, rather complicated to do. I think that in order to truly get past any hurdles that you have had in the past, as well as in order to maintain unreactiveness in the present and future, you need to not view any interaction in terms of ones you have had before. In short, you need to have no memory.
That's a bit of an exaggeration, but that's the point I'm trying to make. A personal example: For the longest time, I had a thought in my head that I had never woken up with a chick I had liked. I had gotten with some cute chicks, had slept with them, but for various logistical reasons, I never had woken up next to one I actually thought was cool. The result was that I went into every interaction thinking, "This is the one that changes that." I was trying to be positive. And so it put so much pressure on each interaction to succeed that it just couldn't get there.
Over time, I realized that I was letting my history, which none of these chicks knew, influence what was happening in those interactions. It was partly because of this that I started to move towards the idea of existing only in the present and completely disregarding the past. Almost instantly, my success started to rise.
Let's look at why. First, I had no preconceived notions of what I could and couldn't do in an interaction. Second, because of this, I was more outcome-independent than in the past, another plus. Third, it allowed me to not give a shit about the interaction, since I could forget about it after. So we have three positive things happening right here.
I realize that this has kind of rambled from my original point. I don't even know if I had an original point. I think I did. I dunno. Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is that we don't always have to be on the self-improvement track where we try to be all positive and shit all the time. If we exist in the moment, negativity isn't a bad thing. Why? Because we're not thinking, "Man, I'm worthless because I can't get chicks." If you have no past and don't think about it, how could you ever think that? No, the limits of your negative thinking are, "Fuck, my balls hurt from being kicked." So you see, as long as you don't let your past influence your thinking, you can avoid those ultra-negative thoughts that can be destructive, without having to always be all fake-positive and phony and boring all the time. Cheers.
Comments and tits welcome.
So I was sitting here reading pushyouredge's post about creating a positive environment. And I was going to reply in that thread. I dunno, I just decided that I wanted my own thread instead. It'd be cooler. Maybe. I'm still not sure about it. Anyways, I wanted to write my response like this.
