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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=91735&fid=146&FirstTopic=60&LastTopic=89
Oneitis often begins with mutual attraction. The rest is simply failure to escalate. The following scenario is one I went through many times personally as an AFC, and have seen other guys go through too.
Scenario:
afcDNYC and HBOneitis notice each other. Even clueless afcDNYC can sense the mutual attraction. So he reticently strikes up a conversation, and it turns out she's cool as well as cute. They have rapport!
So afcDNYC does the AFC thing... worried about destroying rapport, he keeps the conversation going as long as possible. When the conversation dies, he wants to ask for her phone number, or just "ask her out," but he can't - there are people around! So instead, afcDNYC says, "Well, I have to go. It was great meeting you! I'll see you around." HBOneitis replies, "great meeting you too!"
HBOneitis and afcDNYC do see each other around, but for their next 2 or 3 meetings, all of which are social, he plays it safe for fear of breaking rapport and scaring her off.
By the time afcDNYC works up the balls to get her phone number and schedule a Day 1, he's been firmly chunked in the friend zone. His failure to build tension and his seeming lack of sexual desire have persuaded HBOneitis that afcDNYC "just likes her as a friend". To him, HBOneitis is unfinished business; To her, he's yesterday's crush - not even worth mentioning to her friends anymore. Now he's just a nice guy who wants to be friends. May as well be a eunuch.
afcDNYC is socially calibrated enough to sense that now it would be weird to bust a move, so he shows his hand: tells HBOneitis he likes her; asks if she likes him too. Predictably, she is flattered but not interested. Soon after the "friendship" dissolves.
A week later, forlorn afcDNYC hears a rumor that HBOneitis was getting banged by some player the whole time they were "seeing each other." WAAAAAAH! Now to wreck it with the next girl by telling her all about how he got his heart smashed!
End of Scenario
Maybe you can relate.
Many orbiters are guys who could've been contenders, but who missed their escalation windows. Be sensitive to IOI's, and escalate when you get them. If you're not sure whether you're getting those IOI's, err on the side of confidence. Some women don't know they want you until you present yourself as a sexual option!
I'd say this has been the biggest change in my game since joining mASF, accompanied by the biggest gains - just having my fucking eyes open, and acting when I think a woman might like me. Am I wrong sometimes? Sure! But who cares. It doesn't hurt that bad, and it certainly hurts less than a nasty case of oneitis.
Because at some point, they usually did stand a chance!
