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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=91804&fid=23
This one killed me in my AFC days and I thought "Oh yeah, I'll show her!"
Interestingly enough I still hear this a good amount.
It doesnt bother me anymore, in fact I pretty much expect it.
I'm not looking for any relationships either. Just girls that I can have fun with and fun with
There are a few contingincies that come up when you hear these words and they all mean different things
Girl Translations: I don't want a relationshop-
A. The AFC: When this is told to the AFC this is the girls way of trying to deflate the guy from pursuing her further. She knows you like her, you are an oribiter. You try your best to not offend her and you display highly needy behavior. You are beta. Since you are such a nice guy though and girls are taught that the mans ego is sensitive, this is her attempt at trying to give you the hint without coming out and saying it. That could make things awkwards. Since you've been displaying the traits of a beta male chances are you will just give up (chick logic). That may work sometimes. But if you were a hard head idiot like me you are going to try to show her that you can be such a great bf in the future and be even more of a chump and make her resent you that much more.
B.The Maybe: You have a chance to succeed with her and she is testing you outwardly:
How you handle this verbally is by 2 ways.
A. Be on the same level as her: "Awesome, I am exactly the same way, I'm just into living my life and whatever happens happens I don't have any expectations because I don't even want one".
Are you this guy?
And then the last contingency:
She actually means it.
IOW
So she meets you and when she communicates this to you, its from a place of genuineness. She has "made up her mind" so when she tells you this it comes from a place of openness and realness, which is actually pretty cool. Just being in this position makes you a group B guy but there are things you still need to look out for.
My game is revolved around college so my mindset about women at this point in my life is "I want to have fun AND fun!" If you get what I am saying. So guys who are after SNL's may not have to worry about this until after the fuck for her to see your interest level in her on top of standard testing for beta traits.
Typically I don't care to make many in depth threads like this. It feels a lot like school but luckily the topics are a HELL of a lot more interesting. But it takes a bit of time just the same. Hopefully once I am out this will be a replacement for all the writing I do in school. But anyway I wanted to get this out so I bit the bullet. I'm glad I did because I enjoyed it. Alright, enough of my random thoughts in writing. Take care.
Any rendition of "I'm not looking for a relationship right now"
Are you this guy?
Lack of flirting?
No signs of attraction?
No tension?
Have you known her for a while?
Sorry, you are in this group. You're fucked.
Girls are socially savy. You've been learning and doing this stuff how long? Ok, well girls have been into the game unknowingly their whole lives. You've displayed yourself to be an attractive male... so far. Just like we have an arsenal of tactics if need be, so does she. The "I don't want to be in a relationship" line is a good outward tactic to catch your response first nonverbally and then verbally. Just by knowing it can come at anytime will make your nonverbal come off smoother. Or if you just don't give a shit at all will give that impression off as well but obviously better. Pass this one and you will come off as more attractive and not lose any attraction or come off as needy like all the guys she knows from group A.
If she was using that as an outward test she may be pissed at the indifference and feel the need to WIN YOU OVER like the chumps from group A will try to do when she says she doesnt want a relationship. Very subtle and by reacting this way she is subtlely buying into your frame and chasing you.
B. Be on the same level as her but make a subtle challenge. Basically I would say the same thing as in the last example but say something along the lines as "I like to see a lot of girls, but for me to have only one girlfriend only, she would have to be amazing in everyway and something that I wouldnt need from any other of all the girls I know. Basically the complete package but I just havent met that girl yet (smile slyly). That lets her know that was a challenge and she forsure knows that that would be at least a response from a man that she would actually want to be in a relationship with. Plus talk about prize frame...is she THAT good for you??? Hmmm...You are the chooser! God knows, she doesnt want to be...
Well have there been signs of attraction?
Flirting?
Escalating the interaction??
ARE YOU ON A DAY2 or past????????
If so, you are potential. Good job.
She has made it a stamp in her mind for whatever reason (busy+life+career+sports+ what the fuck ever) that she can't get tied down with a man. Obviously she is still open to meeting men because like everyone she has needs.
She is being so upfront and honest which is something I really appreciate and I'd even tell her, BUT this is sort of like an unconscious shit test. Even though she didnt mean it as one, she will still observe your reaction and then judge you for it! So everything I wrote about for Group B still applies, from the way you will be percieved if failed and from the way you can make her interest level in you greater. If you are such a great guy anyway and she really likes you is she really going to think "This guy is amazing!!!! Too bad I made up my mind I dont want a bf now even though I met the most amazing guy!!! NO!!!! Now this may be not what your looking for but the point I am trying to make is even if she tells you from a place of honesty, if you are that great she is going to want to keep you. Again...you may not want that.
