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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=92859&fid=8
It's because I do all the right shit with them, which is basically to NOT TRY to do anything at all:
CHICKS I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO:
- I ALWAYS assume that they want me. I don't know why I think this way, but I just do. (assuming attraction)
- I'm nice to them, but I only am that way because I'm just a friendly guy. I do not do any "nice" things for them because I expect anything in return. I just find pleasure in making them smile and laugh. (nice, but in a non-supplicating way).
- I'm not in the least bit intimidated by them. A new (not hot) chick started working at my office this week, and with zero fear, doubt, or hesitation I just started talking and bullshitting with her. There was not a single instant where I refrained from being myself to her, not even after the initial greeting and introduction of myself. I'm the same way with guys too.
- I flirt with them a lot, but I know in my mind I will never get with them. I don't know why I do that. It's just in my nature. I've always flirted with ugly chicks that I know....not because I want to get with them, but just because I like to flirt and make women smile because it makes me feel good. (So basically I'm an unattainable object to them, but I still flirt with them. I guess this is perceived as 'being a challenge' or 'push-pull' or whatever....)
- I never have to think about what to say, and I never second-guess myself around them. I also don't give a shit what they think about me if I happen to do or say something dumb. They will even playfully bust on me when I do something dumb, but we both know that it's just playing around and not to be taken seriously. (aka. unshakeable confidence).
Now that is how I act around chicks that I am NOT attracted to, and they all love me. Basically I know in my mind that I could easily have any one of them that I wanted.
Now...Around HOT chicks....chicks that I AM ATTRACTED to, I act differently:
- I'm slightly self-conscious. When I am aware of their prescence, I am always somewhat self-aware. The level of self-awareness increases and decreases depending on how I'm feeling that day, but for the most part, I'm always thinking about what they are thinking. I have always been this way about hot chicks all my life, for as long as I can remember, so this isn't some type of "community induced" problem like "AA" or something. (This could be summed up as "thinking too much")
- I lack unshakeable confidence like I have with the UG's. I will still talk, and eventually open up and just be myself, but it's not instantly like with the UG's....This is kind of hard to explain. For instance, there is a hot 21 year old chick that works at my gym. After FORCING myself to talk to her a few months ago when she first started working there, I am now able to be myself around her and bust on her and flirt with her, but it took me a while to be able to feel comfortable enough around her to be able to do that. I am still sometimes self-conscious around her though. I can not explain why exaclty this is.
- I DO NOT automatically assume attraction like I do with the UG's, therefore my actions and behavior is different. After a lot of field and "inner game» work" (which primarily comes from field experience), I am starting to realize that these hotter chicks are actually attainable, but I still feel as if I have to do SOMETHING to gain their attraction. I feel as if I need to do something to impress them, or act a certain way to appear attractive to them. I KNOW that this is the EXACT OPPOSITE mindset to have in order to attract them, but that's the way it is.
- In my mind I still regard them as the prize that I need to work for. I do have a high self-esteem, and I couldn't be happier with my life and the way I am. I also understand that any woman who gets with me will eventually find out that she has found herself a GREAT CATCH. BUT even still, with HOT chicks, I still view them as highly desirable to many many men, and attaining them would take work. I wouldn't necessarily say that I've "settled for what I think I can get" in the past, because I actually used to hook up with everything with 2 tits and a pussy in my teenage years before my LTR, but I know I have always doubted myself when it came to the hot chicks.
- I still supplicate (or put the pussy on a pedestal). That DOES NOT mean, I buy them shit and shower them with compliments. "Supplication" IMO, can be a very subtle thing, and this is actually what this whole post comes down to. Doing things I normally wouldn't do, saying things I normally wouldn't say, positioning myself in places I normally wouldn't position myself in, are all subtle forms of supplication....For instance, I'm a naturally funny guy. I make people laugh always. But there are times where I'm too "try hard" with that though, and when I'm consciously trying to be funny, I'm actually not funny at all. There are many forms of "subtle supplication" that I do, and it basically all boils down to trying to gain approval from the chick. We all know not to do OBVIOUS supplicative things toward chicks like buy them flowers and presents and gay shit like that, but I have a feeling that many guys are like me and find that they act differently in the company of a hot chick.
- One other thing I noticed, which is VERY common. Everytime I approach a 2 set, usually it is an UG and a hot girl (universal law right? Lol). Obviously I'm approaching to get with the hot girl, duh, but I always find myself engaging in a really interesting and flirtatious conversation with the UG of the 2 set. It's like a SP for me to be able to just completely be myself instantly with a hot chick that I'm attracted to. It's just more comfortable for me to talk to the chick that I am not trying to get anything from.
Now, it's COMPLETELY 100% a MINDSET difference between how I act around chicks that I'm NOT attracted to and how I act around chicks that I AM attracted to. I do all I can do to overcome this weird limiting belief (limiting belief in this case = if I'm attracted to the chick, I have to impress her in order to get her to be attracted to me. If I'm not attracted to her, then I know I could have her).
To try and fix this, if there's a new hot chick anywhere around, like in my social circle, or in my gym, or wherever....I always make sure I talk to her. And I constantly approach new hot chicks too. But for some reason, this weird mind thing is something I need to change.
It's very weird how attracting chicks that I'm NOT attracted to is EFFORTLESS, yet I lack this same ease with chicks I AM attracted to.
From my understanding this is a fairly common problem for most guys. Does anyone know why this is?
I was always kinda wondering why fat chicks and ugly chicks (basically chicks that I'm not attracted to) ALL like me and are obviously attracted to me. It just hit me today....
