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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=96634&fid=16&FirstTopic=30&LastTopic=59
Autopilot responses are programmed into us as reactions to social situations. Someone extends their hand and you shake it, for example. These responses are psychological rules of thumb that we rely on in our daily lives about how to react when something happens to us. Many people have busy lives, and so, snap decisions are made. Usually these behaviours help us but they can also limit our options and can even be exploited by others who know how they work.
Additionally people can feel locked into a response they've made on autopilot because society tends to disapprove of inconsistency, for example labelling such people as flip-flops.
Have you ever given a quick initial response then felt you had to stick with it even though part of you was saying your initial response was not the correct one? That is the consistency principle at work.
Unfortunately, when meeting new people we can sometimes trigger a response that is not the one we want and our target feels stuck with her initial response even though she might otherwise have quickly come to see your positive traits if she'd given you time before reacting and not gone with her initial autopilot response.
So how do we avoid triggering a negative response in order to get a foot in the door and build attraction out of that initial opener?
There are many non-verbal ways of helping one to get a favourable initial response - these include having good eye contact, smiling and using non-confrontational body language». One well-known verbal technique is the fake time constraint. Another verbal technique, which I will describe here, is less widely discussed and one I have used for many years.
First let's make a distinction between speaker-centred and target-centred openers.
A speaker-centred opener is one where you talk about yourself first.
A target-centred opener is one where you talk about the target first.
Over many years, and in the psychological research I recently read (by Ellen Sanger - The Semantics of Asking A Favour; Journal of Personality and Social Psychology), it is the speaker-centred openers that get the more favourable responses. The target-centred opener was much less favourable in outcome - people rarely complied with the request and mostly did not follow through on the interaction.
This response difference is crucial in pick up because you want to be able to use your opener to subsequently develop your interaction and build attraction, rapport and trust. Therefore, using a speaker-centred opener can help us establish ourselves with the target and build on it. This approach, when used as part of the indirect pick up method, allows us to best avoid being shut down early from an autopilot response.
A speaker-centred opener in a pub/restaurant could be 'This is the first time I've been in here since we had that birthday party for my niece and everyone got drunk - well the adults, not the kids'
A target-centred opener in a pub/restaurant could be 'Is it your first time in here? I havent seen you in here before'
In the case of the target-centred opener you are immediately going for rapport without having displayed any value. She might like your looks, but this is not solid game. For solid game we want to rely on our gaming skills. Therefore, by going immediately for rapport and making the subject her, you are positioning yourself to be immediately evaluated i.e. whether she personally wants to reveal information about herself and whether she wants to commit to having a conversation with someone she knows almost nothing about. You could be wonderful to be around or you could be a pain yet she has no time to decide and you force her into a snap decision.
Added to this is if she is already comfortable in her surroundings, or otherwise involved in a social situation, she will quite often choose not to disturb that comfort by breaking off what she was already comfortable doing for the risk of getting involved in new emotions with someone she doesn't know and has not had even a glimpse of his value to pique her interest.
Using the speaker-centred opener, however, allows your target to become accustomed to your presence, voice and your vibe. It allows her time to notice your fitness traits and, thus your value, before she makes a decision to commit to the interaction by getting involved in the conversation. It allows you to tell a story in a commanding manner, display confident and congruent body language» in your interaction with her and let you begin to lead her imagination.
In the psychological tests I mentioned earlier, the results showed that when the interaction began with a speak-centred topic then later progressed to a simple favour request, it was hugely more successful than when a request was made first and then the speaker gave the personal information afterwards. Both the research and my years of in-field experience point to the same result - that giving the person time to adjust to you, sense where you are coming from and see that you have value results in a much higher rate of compliance with your interaction goal.
As part of indirect influence techniques, using a speaker-centred opener can help avoid autopilot shut downs from you target and provides time for you establish your value.
What you say within the speaker-centred opener is also vital because you want to have verbal content that holds her attention and displays value. Let's look at techniques of what to say by analysing the previous example:
'This is the first time I've been in here since we had that birthday party for my niece and everyone got drunk - well the adults, not the kids'
This works as a speaker-centred Neutral Entertaining Opener (see NEOs in 'Tao of Stevie') because it relates to the ongoing situation you both find yourselves in and it gives your target a glimpse of who you are, suggesting you have a positively eventful social life and have humour in your personality.
It also allows you to build on the opener - you could go into many related themes depending on your calibration of her response. You could talk about how your niece choked on a piece of chicken and you saved her to everyone's admiration/how you did magic for the kids and they loved it (then do a mind reading illusion for your target), or how you met this girl and you magically connected etc.
In all cases you want to keep in mind the importance of coming across as confident and relaxed. Being relaxed yourself helps your target to relax. As Ross Jeffries teaches 'you go first'. Once she is relaxed and enjoying your interaction (because she is sensing you have value) she will be in a position to invest in the interaction of her own volition.
Especially in the early stages of opening, the target will want you to lead and show you are someone worth investing time in. Give yourself the chance to do that by using a speaker-centred opener. Calibrate her response to your leading the interaction to notice when you are in a position to gather verbal information from her. Having gained her personally invested responses, you can leverage your leading with more personalized seduction technologies which meet her specialized, individualistic wants and desires.
Approaching and opening a target is the beginning of an interaction and can often be a make or break situation. Depending on how you come across, you are able to continue the interaction and build attraction or it goes nowhere because she puts up a shield and does not invest in the interaction. My successful field experiences over the years and recent reading of psychological research agree on a technique to boost compliance. In the following I'll share it with you.
