Kwagmyre is a member of the mASF forum. Acronyms used in this article can be looked up on the acronyms page. To get involved in discussions like this, you can join the mASF discussion forum at fastseduction.com/discussion.
Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=99067&fid=24&FirstTopic=30&LastTopic=59
, and a lot of guys asked how it went. I actually had to defer it because of work issues, so the first meetup only just went down today. So here's how it went...
We met up at the restaurant for drinks on a Saturday afternoon. I walk up and she is wearing one of those silk blouse/shirt combo things, jeans, and very "Sex In The City" pointy shoes. Her nose is a little bit big for her face and I focus on this consistently to remind myself that she is not physically perfect. This is somewhat necessary because, apart from her nose, she is, in fact, physically perfect. Sriking facial features that I was later to learn are a result of her Spanish (as in, parents from Spain) heritage, greenish/grey eyes that aren't quite green but not yet hazel either, and the best body I have seen in a long time. Oh, and I shit you not, Angelina Jolie-sized DSL’s.
As we sit down she immediately takes charge of the situation in full feminist style, announces she would like appetizers and speaks to the waitress as if she were the one calling the shots, which is probably because she was the one calling the shots. I respond by going along with this, then immediately neg her after the waitress leaves, "That's a very nice blouse, shirt, whatever you call it... I see that's the style now, I see lots of women wearing those these days." (Sometimes you just can't improve on the classics. )
We proceed from there to talk about just about everything under the sun. I have spent about an hour or so total on the phone with her before this meetup, and had some very good advice from the other thread going in. In our conversations, I was having a little trouble getting what I call any "purchase" on her, and I mean this in the sense of traction, like a mountain climber might - until, that is, I found that we have something mutual in common...
We both hate East Tennesee rednecks.
So, out of this, I discovered accidentally something that worked with this one that I would normally not cultivate intentionally with a woman: A purposely "negative" frame. By negative here, I mean in a mutually disdainful sort of a way - sort of an "us against them" mentality. She is the surfer girl from southern california... I, the wayward gentleman from Miami stuck in a mountainous backwater, both of us, unappreciated for our talent, genius, and incredible good looks. We may be ducks out of water, but at least we can huddle together against the storm. Or something like that.
It worked. While I didn't overdo it, every time I went back to this particular well, I found it full of fresh, cool water to drink. (The Bitterness is strong with this one, lol).
There was a little bit of verbal jockeying early that faded as the afternoon went on. She attempted some of the normal tests on me that a woman like this might - for instance, when we talked about the arts, I gave her a rich description of a symphony orchestra, how you can hear the vibration of the strings against the rosewood a hundred separate times, yet all in perfect unison... she told me she had never been, but would probably cry if she had. (I swear, I think she got a little misty-eyed).
She came back with "What about poetry?", I told her I don't really "get it" as I am more of a visual person. She retorted that she loved poetry and had even written a book of it that she was trying to get published.
"Well, I honestly did try to get into poetry for a while, especially Lord Byron and stuff, you know, the whole 'noble savage' thing... but really, my tastes in reading tend to run a bit eclectic anyway. Like for instance, right now I am reading a book on complexity economics, wherein the author discusses the problem of how the economy is a dynamic, non-linear system, and as such, is one that we don't have a form of mathematics available to adequately describe yet."
HBF: (BLINK) "Wow, you just totally went over my head with that one..."
(Yes, I know that. That was sort of the point.)
Kwag: "Well, the upshot of the whole thing, is that we are basing our economic policies, and by extension our economy, on mathematical models that do not coincide with reality. Like for instance, everything we do is geared towards increasing productivity, instead of utility... yet utility is what makes most people happy. Take France, for instance..."
HBF: "I would LOVE to live in France..."
Kwag: "Well, in France, they have 35-hour work weeks, and 6 weeks of vacation a year..."
HBF: "Plus nude beaches!"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JACKPOT !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kwag: "... and great wine and cheese, too!"
Now, for those of you who have hung in this long, you are probably thinking, "Kwag, why in the FUCK are you talking about economics with this chick, while she is talking about FUCKING NUDE BEACHES?" Fear not, my lads. All is well.
You see, from the originating thread in general, my game plan was to go into this from a standpoint of, yes, certainly spiking her BT as much as possible, but allowing her to do SOME of the escalation. Well, announcing you are a nudist (via subcommunication) is going to register on my radar like a fucking blimp wrapped in tinfoil dispensing chaff all over the place. At the same time, relinqushing some of this to her, I cannot sacrifice my identity as a sexual man, ultimately, if I am to attract her. So I consistently push/pulled between intellectual and neanderthal, and was prepared for what I KNEW was coming later:
HBF: "I think Christianity is a bunch of bullshit. If I had to sum up my beliefs, I'd say it was a mix between wiccan and bhuddist."
Kwag (bites cheek to keep from laughing):"Oh wow, Wiccan, is that like, the thing with the chicken bones and stuff?"
HBF: (genuinely perplexed): "Huh? No, there's nothing with chicken bones..."
Kwag: "Oh wait, that's right. I'm thinking of Santeria, never mind. It's kind of a big thing in Miami, what with all the islanders and roots in voodooism and stuff". (Dismissively waives hand.)
HBF: "Blah blah wiccan, pagan…"
Kwag: "A Christmas tree is a pagan fertility bush!" (stated in the same tone one might say, 'What a BIG boy you are' to a child who has just announced that 2 + 2 = 4)
HBF: (eyes light up): "That's right! All of Christianity is from paganism!"
Kwag: "Ok, I'm sorry, I just can't take this anymore. I mean, you're hot and all, but REALLY, can you possibly be serious with this shit?"
(Ok, no, that's not what I really said. What I REALLY said was):
Kwag: "You would like where I used to live in Florida. There were a lot of wiccans around there, like real witches, with covens and shit."
HBF: "Ooh, I probably WOULD like that"
Kwag: "Plus, there's also lots of nudist resorts, and it's always warm!"
HBF: "Wow, let's go!", totally playing along and having fun with it. And also confirming my suspicions that she is a nudist. And further confirming it with a discussion about how it’s “so nice not to have to worry about tan lines and stuff.”
We will now pause for a brief intermission while I sit and think for a minute about how FUCKING. AWESOME. MY LIFE IS RIGHT NOW.
............................................................................................................................................................................................................................
And we're back.
HBF: “blah blah the FDA, Splenda destroyed my kidney”
HBF: “He had a killer body and a bitchin’ truck”
… and so on.
But, my best one of the day, was also the one that I turned on. I got a few of those ‘hook’ moments in, like with the rich description of the symphony, but really none like the one coming up. We were both participating in a mutual hatefest of our ex’s, and this was easy to do since they are both drug addicts. (AGAIN, this is NOT something I would normally EVER do. Calibrate to the girl in front of you!) In the process of that, she asked if my ex had ever done stuff like that when we were married. I answered truthfully in the negative. She asked what I thought might have turned her, I said, ‘missing my awesomeness, perhaps’, she laughed (in the right way), then I said,
“Well, it might have had something to do with the guy she was seeing was really into it. She was doing it with him before even moving out.”
HBF: “Ah, so she was cheating on you.”
Kwag: “Yes. Multiple times.”
HBF: bites lip, knowing look in her eye
Kwag: “Which was a really messed up thing though… because ‘cheating’, wasn’t even something she HAD to do in our relationship.”
HBF: (blank look) “What do you mean?”
Kwag: “Well, in our relationship, it was ok for us to be physically attracted to other people, because there was no problem with that. Even if you would DO something about it, it still wasn’t a problem, so long as it was only a matter of physical, vs. emotional attraction.”
HBF: “So you were swingers.”
Kwag: “Basically, yes.”
After this, the mood greatly relaxed, or, perhaps “changed” would be a better word. The OTHER great advice I got in the previous thread, that I was now capitalizing on, was not to go into the date assuming that she was a manhater, just because she was a professed liberal and feminist. That the idea instead would be to embrace that she might be open to non-traditional possibilities in relationships. They were right.
After this, her BL completely opened up, and though the seating arrangement didn’t really allow for much great kino, the mood was palpably changed.
At the end, she stated that she would sit and talk with me until the sun went down if she could, (to be clear, it was I who ended the date and asked for the check – she offered to split it, I took her up on it), but that she had to pick up her kids at the park across the street. That was just as well, since I had my own kids to contend with, and some things I needed to take care of for my girlfriend, besides. I am not 100% sure I could have done an insta-pull had the logistics not been an issue, but for sure there is interest sparked. When I was in the process of writing up this FR later that night (a Saturday night), she texted how “refreshing” it was to meet someone like me. Oh, but she has no idea how true a statement that is, my brothers, no idea. But I will do my best to see to it that she finds out.
I am mostly writing it up because I posted up a pre-meet question about this in General, along with background here:
Things kept going this way for pretty much most of the time we sat there. We’d be humming along, then she would throw out something ridiculous and I’d slap it down:
Kwag: “Well, it’s a good thing you’ve got two, then…”
Kwag: “Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve heard the word ‘bitchin’ used as an adjective”
