TheLetter is a member of the mASF forum. Acronyms used in this article can be looked up on the acronyms page. To get involved in discussions like this, you can join the mASF discussion forum at fastseduction.com/discussion.
Original discussion thread: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=100621&fid=8&FirstTopic=60&LastTopic=89
There are definitely some mindsets out there that are a bit tacky and even needy, such as "approach as many girls as possible", "collect every number you can", "try to makeout with every girl you can", and even "lay as many girls as possible regardless of whether you actually like them". This common prescriptive advice for beginners is also stuff that guys who become skilled come to disdain.
Frankly, once a guy is able to approach any girl he wants, get numbers with ease, kiss girls quickly, and lay girls regularly, such mindsets seem really silly. Because at that point, they are, since the person possessing those skills don't actually learn anything from the mindsets any longer.
The distinction between mindsets for guys who want to get experience in a certain area, and for guys who are skilled in that area and just want to enjoy themselves is unappreciated.
I remember there were nights when I did a lot of mass approaching when I started to feel tired or frustrated and thought, "Wow, I look forward to when I'm actually good at this, so I can stop running around like this". Eventually, I stopped running around so hard AND improved the frequency of my best results.
Learning Mindsets are inherently needy and agenda based. But for a guy who is deficient in skill X, it's a worthwhile tradeoff in order to get experience and learn calibration with skill X. But once he learns it, what'll make him happiest is to probably be more laid back, and judiciously use skill X only when he genuinely wants to.
Example: approach all the girls you possibly can is a learning mindset. The corresponding lifestyle mindset is approach only the girls you genuinely want to fuck.
A guy who is already an experienced approacher is just wasting his time if he takes on the learning mindset. Through experience, a seducer is able to identify which sorts of girls, which sorts of groups, which sorts of situations are the most fruitful uses of his time. Similarly, an inexperienced approacher might be shooting his development in the foot by not putting in the approaches that'll build up his confidence and calibration such that one day he will be experienced enough to identify his most fruitful opportunities. The real secret behind most "One Approach, One Pull" nights is that the seducer behind it has identified the girls he needn't even bother with, but also very aware of the ones he certainly should not pass on.
An important distinction between Learning Mindsets and Lifestyle Mindsets is that a learning mindset is intentionally overzealous and inherently needy, because the Learning Mindset does have the agenda of gaining a lot of experience in a certain area. In contrast, a Lifestyle Mindset comes from a place of abundance, outcome indifference, experience, and calibration that is inherently attractive.
But a Lifestyle Mindset is not something that a guy ought to fake until he makes (he might be faking for a LONG time). He should make it until he makes it. And once he has, he ought to just chill out and enjoy the fruits of his labors.
Overdoing it as long as you have to (and hopefully no longer) is a necessary part of the journey. A lot of my most significant developments have come from temporarily adopting a Learning Mindset and then graduating onto its accompanying Lifestyle Mindset.
Examples include:
Approach Machine vs. Selective Approaching
Now what we've outlined the distinction between Learning Mindsets and Lifestyle Mindsets, you might find it useful to ask yourself a couple questions: What Learning Mindsets might it be useful for me to take on for a short time in order to address a skill gap? What Learning Mindsets have I outgrown and are just holding me back at this point?
A lot of guys get into pickup because there is something missing in their skillsets with women, or things they want to be able to do with girls but don't know how. Improving as a seducer takes a good deal of time, and requires accumulating a lots of experience. A big part of this growth is shedding a lot of the misconceptions a guy has about himself and about women, and replacing them with more productive mindsets.
Plowing vs. Understanding Which Causes are Hopeless
Constantly Kinoing vs. Applying Touch Selectively for Impact
Being A Tacky Makeout Guy vs. Kissing in Ways that Increase the Likelihood of Sex
Inviting Lots of Girls Home vs. Understanding When It's ON
