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Original discussion thread: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=101102&fid=173
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We are all familiar with the limiting belief about how supposedly it takes a certain amount of time before a woman will have sex with you.
But there is another limiting belief that may be hurting you. That is the amount of time you THINK you need to wait before making an overt physical move. The truth is you can make your "it's on" move (ie. the mutual hand caressing test or kissing) as early as the first minute. And if she is initially attracted to you it will work.
In fact, waiting too long can actually hurt your chances, as sometimes you are never as interesting/mysterious as you will be in the first few minutes you meet her. During the initial introduction and the first few minutes of seductive listening as the sexual tension sparks fly. This is where you are at your best.
I know this because I have been there many times myself. There have been many times when I was sexual vibing with a woman and right off the bat it was going really great. She was looking at me and smiling (trance), we were getting closer and I could just feel that it was definitely ON.
But because this was all happening in the FIRST minute or two I thought I still had to wait a little bit before making that overt physical move. (ie kiss her OR hand caressing). As if doing it so quickly would be the wrong move or she would stop me because she wouldn't want to look slutty for getting physical so fast.
The truth is there is NO set "defined" amount of time you need to wait before you can make it officially "on". So if attraction happens in the blink of an eye (seconds) then WHEN you decide to make that attraction official and overt should be as soon as possible.
~ WHAT USUALLY HAPPENS TO GUYS
The problem is when things are going REALLY good an the beginning you think/assume you have "all the time in the world" to make that overt physical move. You figure you will get around to doing it (escalating) eventually. No hurry, no worries...she's really into me.
~ BUT YOU DON'T HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD
But what ALWAYS ends up happening when two minutes turns into five...and then into ten?
She moves slightly away from you. Now she isn't smiling as much. Wait..is she testing me? Her friend briefly interrupts your bubble vibe. Now you start doubting yourself and you put off making the OVERT move again as you try to get things back like they were in the beginning. Fail!
The bottom line is you want to make the attraction "official" as soon as possible. And escalation to me (in this case making ONE overt physical move) is really about revealing the attraction that is already there (WHEN it's there).
Obviously you want to take advantage of the attraction when it's at its peak.
(It just so happens to be that when you first meet a woman and you are NEW/MYSTERIOUS/SEXY you automatically get a really good chance to do this)
~ THE KEY POINT
Once you make the overt move and your connection becomes OFFICIAL/"mutually-on" your interaction with her can survive the natural interest level fluctuations (the ups and downs) that are bound to happen throughout the night.
~ AVOID The BIG Letdown
As soon as you see/sense the feeling of attraction you want to make it official. That is the REAL point of escalation duh! Don't put it off. It doesn't matter if it's only 30 seconds in. Take advantage of the fact that things are usually at their best in the first minute or two. Get that sale. Cash the check.
If you don't make the attraction official it will feel like a big letdown for her (and slightly awkward) later when the initial attraction/interest dips and nothing has overtly physical has happened yet.
I'm sure you have noticed this...
IT ALWAYS GETS SUPER AWKWARD
when you start out FAST and escalate the vibe, and have that non-verbal connection... but then you don't make that OVERT physical move.
remember that once that initial natural/automatic attraction fizzles a bit...(without something overt/mutual) things get a bit weird and most guys don't recover
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This also ties into the misconception that talking to a woman for a long time means you are doing good. I see it as just the opposite. IMO, talking to a woman for a long time without an IOM means you are doing BAD.
Topic: revealing the attraction THAT is there, WHEN it's there... in order to make it official
