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Original discussion thread: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=102238&fid=173
Recently realized that desire was something you could break down into stages, and decided to categorizes these various Stages of Desire. Should be informative and contains a few practical suggestions. These categories can apply to any kind of desire a woman (or anyone) has: whether it's her desire to get to know you better, to sleep with you, to see you every night of the week, to have a relationship with you , to get orgasms from you, to live with you, or to have you whisper sweet nothings in her ear.
Note that the odd-numbered stages are more or less transitional; a woman only stays in a transitional stage for a small amount of time. The even numbered stages are the “set” stages that a woman can land in and remain in for a long time.
Still ironing this out, so open to interpretations / refutations / comments, critiques, and all that good stuff, of course.
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The Stages of Desire
Stage 0 – Indifference
A girl in the Indifference stage is neutral to a kind of value. For instance, when you first meet a girl, she isn't desperately hoping you're going to call her every night right off the bat because it isn't something that's occurred to her to want just yet. She's indifferent; her desire for object XYZ is nonexistent.
Stage 1 – Curiosity (Transitional)
In the Curiosity stage, a girl is interested in trying something, but hasn't actually tried it yet. She will want something – sometimes pretty badly – but since this desire isn't tied to anything experienced yet, it fades away fast and is easily superseded; e.g., she wants to kiss a guy really bad, but he keeps stringing her along and teasing her, until you come along, sweep her off her feet, and kiss her. Now her interest has turned from him to you, and her curiosity in kissing that first guy is probably largely forgotten (much to his consternation).
Stage 2 – Need
In the Need stage, a girl has tasted something – whether she kissed you for the first time, or you her on an incredible date, or you gave her powerful orgasms in bed – and she wants more of it.
While she's in the Need Stage of Desire, a girl will chase after the thing she wants, often pleading, complaining, cajoling, doing nice things, causing drama, and doing anything she can as she seeks to get the thing she wants and needs more of.
When a girl is chasing after and pursuing you, her desire for you is in the Need stage.
Stage 3 – Satiation (Transitional)
In the Satiation stage, she's now getting all that she requires of something she feels she needs. This could mean that after months of pleading, you've finally agreed to allow her to refer to the two of you as boyfriend and girlfriend. She's completely 100% satisfied, and is happily in a state of contentment and bliss – at least until she gets used to having this thing she wants and starts taking it for granted.
Stage 4 – Expectation
Once a girl is used to getting all that she needs of something for a certain amount of time, she moves to the Expectation stage. In this stage, she's grown accustomed to having her needs fulfilled, and begins taking the thing she needed so badly before for granted. She expects to get something good – you might say she feels entitled to it – and if she doesn't receive it, she feels anger and indignation. For instance, say you were in the habit of either calling or seeing a girl every other night, and she was used to this pattern of attention from you and was in the Expectation stage regarding it. Then, suddenly, you don't call her or see her for a week. She'll be hurt; she'll wonder what's going on; and she'll be angry at you for disappearing and not giving her what she expected from you. That's the Expectation stage.
Stage 5 – Burden (Transitional)
The Burden stage is when a woman is receiving too much of something. Say she's seeing a guy who calls her daily. Maybe she chased after this; maybe she wanted him calling her every day. And when he first began doing so, she was glad; she went from Need to Satiation and finally to Expectation.
But then it began becoming a burden; she had to talk to him every night. She couldn't take a night class, or had to make sure to squeeze the call in between work and school, or after class when she was already exhausted; she couldn't go to happy hour and a late dinner with her friends because she had to take forty minutes out of her schedule to talk to her man. She thus begins feeling weighed down and constricted, and starts viewing the thing she previously desired very much as a burden.
Stage 6 – Rejection
The Rejection stage is what a girl moves onto from the Burden stage. After feeling constricted for too long, she'll eventually start outright protesting against and rejecting the thing she's feeling tied down by. She feels a certain disgust for it and wants nothing to do with it anymore, and works to get it out of her life.
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Using the Stages of Desire
The cool thing about the Stages of Desire is that it's pretty useful. Want to know why girls don't chase after an amazing guy forever, even if the other guys around are only OK? It's because Curiosity is a transitional stage and it fades fast. Want to know why women don't stay happy for all that long when they finally get something they've been fighting for for a long time? It's because Satiation is a transitional stage as well.
Most women in relationships after a while fall into the Expectation stage on most issues. They start out in the Need stage, until they fight / complain to / reward their man enough to get him to give them everything they want; then they hover around in Satiation for a little while, blissfully happy and content. They then move into the Expectation stage on some things, and begin focusing on other things in the Need department that they want to move on to Satiation.
For instance, early on a girl may want to see her guy four days a week. She's in the Need stage. So she starts pressing him hard to spend the weekend and two weekdays with her. When he finally relents, she's really happy for a while (Satiation); then she gets used to it and comes to expect seeing him four days a week (Expectation).
Now that's she got that, she starts pressing again for something else (Need stage on a separate issue); maybe this time it's that she wants the two of them to move in together. He resists; she presses. Finally, he relents, and they move in. She moves into Satiation on that issue and is blissfully happy; then she moves onto Expectation and is used to it. Now she starts working on her next need – maybe it's marriage; maybe it's children; maybe it's something else.
The Stages of Desire also show why you need to keep pace in a seduction and not take too long; take too long, and her interest starts to fade as she slips from Curiosity back to Indifference. You have to give her a taste of whatever it is you've got her curious about, and move her into Need.
In a seduction, the goal should be to move a girl as quickly as possible to the Need stage.
In a relationship, the goal should be to stick either to the Need stage or the Expectation stage. She's likely always going to have something in the Need stage, though; as soon as one Need moves to Expectation, another Need will surface.
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Skipping Stages
Is it possible to skip stages? Absolutely. Look at the following examples.
A man walks right up to a girl who's just noticed him, pulls her into him, says something seductive, and plants a small kiss on her lips, which she enjoys. He then pulls away, but she leans in to try and kiss him again. Where's the girl? She's moved instantly from being indifferent to kissing him to needing to kiss him again.
Or, a weird guy could walk up to the same girl and awkwardly try to plant one on her; she'll recoil and go straight to Rejection.
It's also possible for a woman to start out in the Curiosity stage (if, say, she spots a guy she really likes the look of and is exactly her type) or the Rejection stage (for instance, if she gets approached by a weird, creepy guy who makes her skin crawl). How often a woman starts out in a stage other than Indifference is directly linked to how judgmental/opinionated she is; the more she judges others, the more likely she is either to want or not want someone immediately before knowing much, if anything, about him.
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Moving Backwards
It's easiest to move backwards from a transitional stage. It's much more difficult to move backwards from a set stage.
If she's curious about you, but you fall off the map for a long period of time, it's easy for her Curiosity to reset to Indifference.
If she's in Satiation, then you take away whatever you were satiating her with and start rationing it out again, she'll fall right back into Need (although she'll probably be pretty pissed about it).
If she's in Burden, and you pull back and aren't quite so overbearing anymore, she'll move back to Expectation.
Moving back from a set stage is not as easy as just giving a woman less of whatever it is that she desires from you. If she's in the habit of expecting orgasms from you every time you sleep with her, and you start only giving her orgasms every other time, she'll resent you for it. Or if she's in the habit of you kissing her passionately every time you see her, and suddenly you stop, she'll resent you for that too. She'll start pulling away rather than moving backward in the Stages of Desire.
Just like with attraction in general, where trying to go backward is never a good idea, so it is with the Stages of Desire. Once you've reached a set stage, you've reached it; you're probably not going to be able to go back.
Use the Stages of Desire as a gauge to figure out where you are with a woman, and where you need to get to. If she's still in Curiosity, get her a taste quickly to move her into a more stable stage (Need). If she's in Burden, ease up a bit before she goes into Rejection and let her move back down to Expectation.
Note that you can move through the Stages as quickly or as slowly as you like; a man might rattle through all six in an hour with a girl and have her tired of his conversation and wanting to end it – or he might keep her chasing after him, perpetually in the Need stage, for years at a time.
Would love to hear your thoughts on these, gents. Looking forward to your input.
