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Original discussion thread: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=102361&fid=16
Handling challenges is one of big ways you get women into you fast. It's also one of the most overlooked things in seduction.
What do you do when a girl objects or challenges you? Most guys fall into the natural habit of qualifying themselves. Once they find the seduction world, they're taught that that's wrong and they go the complete opposite way and challenge back.
But in fact, that isn't right either. Getting challenging with girls is often actually a great way to blow them out; to make them feel like they don't have a shot with you. It works well with some high self-esteem chicks who get off on banter; but even a lot of those girls will more likely hook up with a non-challenging guy who does things right than a challenging guy who doesn't know when to quit and be real.
I'll show you what I mean. Let's say a girl asks you, “Are you any good as a cook?” Here's how most cats will reply:
Guy #1: Haha... I cook a mean leg of lamb, if you must know.
or
Guy #2: I prefer to get beautiful women to do my cooking for me.
Both of those responses are OK; in fact, both are a lot better than what the average guy will say. But they're still also both flawed – and here's why.
Guy #1 is using a qualifying response; he's qualifying himself to this girl's challenge. The end result is that he feels a little more relatable – she feels more connected to him and feels like she has a better shot with him – but, he also loses some value for qualifying himself. The girl's more likely now to decide he's just a nice guy and lose interest.
Guy #2 is doing the total opposite. He challenges her back – so he ends up raising his value a bit, as he seems harder to get and not a pushover, but at the same time he lowers his relatability, and the girl ends up feeling less connected to him and feels like he's harder to get. She's more likely to get blown out, give up while thinking he's not into her, and walk away (maybe first calling him a jerk or something less nice).
So, qualifying yourself is bad. But challenging back is equally bad, for different reasons. Damned if you do, damned if you do, right?
There are two ways I've found that are very effective for replying to challenges, neither of which I see being used a whole lot in the seduction community. One is downright rare; that's the one I want to focus on.
First is self-deprecating humor. It's a great way to play yourself down in a witty way, which raises both your value and your relatability. It shows girls that you're clearly not viewing them as higher value than yourself (or else you'd be qualifying!), but also shows them that you're not brushing them off entirely with a challenge. Here's what I mean:
Girl: Are you any good as a cook?
Guy: Let's just say that when it comes to frozen dinners, they want me on the Iron Chef.
Clever, witty, and it neither qualifies nor challenges. But it makes our hero both more attractive and more relatable – two plusses.
Let's say I want to go one further though, and mix in some compliance. How can I do that? The solution is in using invitational responses. The way invitationals work is by showcasing confidence (value), openness to her (relatability), and by asking her to invest. That's three good things it does for you, and it works like this:
Girl: Are you any good as a cook?
Guy: Tell you what. We'll whip up a meal together sometime and I'll let you be the judge.
That is a really powerful thing to say to a girl. Depending on how far along in an interaction you are when you make such a statement, she may throw up some resistance; that's dependent mostly on how far you've escalated compliance and investment up to that point. But even if she throws up resistance, just smile and keep on going with the interaction anyway; as you escalate compliance, she'll be more and more open to these kinds of responses, and will receive them better and better.
Here's another example of a self-deprecating response, and an invitational response, just for good measure:
(Self-Deprecating)
Girl: What do you want with me?
Guy: I'm looking for women tonight who don't hate men like me.
(Invitational)
Girl: What do you want with me?
Guy: Haven't quite figured that out yet. But I'm having fun and I think you are too... so let's just keep hanging out, and we'll see what we can figure out together.
Girls flip out for these kinds of responses. It's strong stuff. Generates tons of intrigue and attraction, and you'll be getting hit with more questions, compliments, and SOIs than you can shake a stick at.
Because NO ONE does this.
As a rule of thumb, use self-deprecating humor to address challenges early on in an interaction before you've built up much compliance. Past that point, focus on using invitationals to get girls attracted in a hurry.
I can attest that since I made the switch this year from challenging girls who challenged me to using self-deprecation and (especially) invitational responses, I've seen a marked increase in how fast women become attracted, and how strongly they do (suffice it to say they're getting a lot more into me, a lot faster).
Enjoy, have fun, and be well.
