JohnnyC69 is a member of the mASF forum. Acronyms used in this article can be looked up on the acronyms page. To get involved in discussions like this, you can join the mASF discussion forum at fastseduction.com/discussion.
Original discussion thread: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=102396&fid=179
That being said, stop focusing on witty/clever opening messages. When you have a bomb-ass profile, you don't NEED to be witty or clever.
Think about it like this: What do YOU do when a chick messages you? Do you read her message to see if she's got something interesting or funny to say? .....or do you just click on her profile to see if she's hot or not before reading?
I know what I do...
Now granted, we're guys. We can't rely soley on looks. We need game! Looks help, for sure, but it's only one card in your hand.
When dealing with an online setting, such as a dating site, here's a super efficient way to bring game to your profile.
SCREENING
Now, I'm not about to sit here and write up something that will be copied and pasted. At least not the first part. You are more than welcome to do a search if you must, I know I have posted this before. Please try to be original though.
The first part of my profile basically says what I am and am not looking for in a woman. Not in a rude or dickish way (I save that for the END of the profile), I just state matter of factly the type of woman that I appreciate and what turns me on and off.
When you incorporate this into your profile, it makes girls feel special when you talk to them, because they feel like they fit a specific criteria. Make sense?
Anyway, I recently added something that I copy/pasted to screen for a sense of humor. Being that I copy/pasted it myself, I don't see why I shouldn't share it with y'all. This is following my opening paragraphs talking about what I'm looking for in a woman and of course, what I'm NOT looking for.
Warning: THIS SHIT IS BRUTAL
And just for fun (and I DO mean fun, as in funny, ha ha, meaning that if you don't see the humor in the following and feel some overwhelming urge to write me some long message telling me what a dick I am (don't worry, I already know), I will assume that you are a self-righteous, attention seeking beeyotch and if I DO respond to you, it will be to make fun of your apparent lack of a sense of humor)
The Guy's Translation Guide to Dating Sites»
thin - anorexic
thick - fat
average - fat like everyone else
a few extra pounds - fat and delusional
more to love - fat and needy
more cushion for the pushin'! - fat and slutty
BBW - fat and doesn't plan to diet
curves in all the right places - and in all the wrong ones
junk in the trunk - of a station wagon
junk in the trunk and attic - fat and can't flesh out a metaphor correctly
not too fat and not too thin - too fat
not concerned about looks - fat and fugly
take care of myself - fat and vain
beauty is in the eye of the beholder - will make you go blind
athletic - I am or was at one time a man.
"I'm tired of the bar scene" – somehow being drunk and easy is not panning out
"I love sports" - I will suffer whatever you want to do on Saturdays so you'll think I'm cool and don't worry , I'll bring this up when I wanna go see "Valentines Day" or "New Moon"
"Go (some team)!" - my ex-boyfriend or ex-husband liked (some team) so I have a sweater with their
name on it
"I can go out on the town, or a quiet evening at home" - I stay at home until someone pays to take me out
"I like a man in uniform (military)"- $400,000+ would be awesome if you died!
"I love Marines" - I love a strong back and weak mind!
"I love Coasties" - I love foreign STDs and international baby-mama drama OR I'm from Japan or the PI
"I love Sailors" - See Above
"I love Soldiers"- I love your SGLI and bah
"I love Air force"- see above
"dinner and dancing" - you'd better have money
"looking for someone secure" - you'd better have money
"I like to travel" - on your dime, you'd better have money
"I like road trips to no place in particular" - I want to waste your gas.
"looking for someone stable" - you'd better have money and a house
"looking for someone who has goals" - you'd better be planning to get more money
"not looking for a momma's boy" - because I don't want competition for controlling you
"family is very important to me" - be prepared to spend every weekend and holiday at my parents'
"single mom" - looking for money and a new daddy
"not looking for a daddy, my kids know who their dad is" - just looking for money because the dad is poor
"my kids are my life" - I don't want to sound like a selfish bitch because I'm looking for a date
"my kids are my life" - be prepared to take a back seat to my overindulgence
"I don't have kids, but I want them someday" - I don't plan on ever having a job
"I can cook" - I can operate a microwave
"I'm very domestic" - I'm a houseplant that doesn't understand fun
"I'm intelligent" - I can spell most words and believe that equals smart
"I'm articulate" - I never shut up
"I enjoy a good debate" - I never, ever shut up, and I yell
"I read a lot" - of fast-food menus and magazines
"I write poetry" - and I'm going to make you sit through every excruciating word of it
"I love to sing" - and I'm going to make you sit through every excruciating word of it
"I'm not into playing games" - I'm stupid and have been easily manipulated
"tired of the games" - I'm stupid and have been easily manipulated
"NO HEAD GAMES" - I'm stupid and have been easily manipulated
"I hate liars" - because I can't tell when they're lying
"If you're just looking for sex, keep looking" - I gave it up on the first date before and it ended badly
"If you're just looking for sex, keep looking" - I hate men, and therefore sex, but need someone to bring home a paycheck
"If you're just looking for sex, keep looking" - I'm stupid and have been easily manipulated
"looking for a man who knows how to treat a lady" - be prepared to do everything for me
"handyman a plus" – I break shit, have a shitty car.
"concentrating on making myself a better person" - I'm a self-absorbed hippie
"I'm into yoga" - I'm a self-absorbed hippie
"I'm a vegetarian" - I'm a self-absorbed hippie and logic eludes me and I will save the cat before telling you the house is on fire.
"I'm a veagan" - see above,
"I'm a country girl looking for a country boy" – I adhere to very sharply defined out-of-date gender roles
"I like all kinds of music" – I don't really pay attention to any type of music, so I don't care what's on
"I like to spend time outdoors" – sometimes I open a window
"I like to hang out with friends" – I am a drunk
"I like to have fun" – I am an idiot [Who doesn't like fun? It's fun. Why would you write that? Jesus.]
"I'm up for anything" – I expect you to come up with ideas
"I'm very spontaneous" – I'm a flakier than a bowl of Wheaties
"I like long walks on the beach" – it looked romantic in that one movie I saw
"I like to take long walks" – I don't own a car, hope you do
....................................
And that's it. I got a handful of hate mail from a few fatties (ALWAYS from fatties), but for the most part, I'm getting responses from hot girls that have a slight edge to them.
Yummy...that's just how I like em.
Before ijjjji comes in here busting my balls about magic bullets», let me preface all of this by saying that there's no such thing. Even with the best pictures and the best profile, you still have to put in the numbers with online and there's no such thing as a 100% response rate.
