60 years of challenge is a member of the mASF forum. Acronyms used in this article can be looked up on the acronyms page. To get involved in discussions like this, you can join the mASF discussion forum at fastseduction.com/discussion.
Original discussion thread: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=102880&fid=8&FirstTopic=30&LastTopic=59
neuromancer wrote:
The real challenge in my opinion is before [the kiss]. Getting [attraction].
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Exactly. This is just one persons method for making attraction overt, official and mutual. Attraction that is ALREADY there.
The million dollar question is always how does someone create attraction. We are all so different that there will probably never be a full proof way for one person to convey it to another. And that is what this whole community is based on - the selling of attraction.
The promise that we can teach you a formula or secret code for creating attraction. It doesn't exist because the human beings trying to teach it to you are all so different and the women you are using their material on are all unique. We are dealing with flesh and blood human beings not computer programs.
However, I believe we can do a good job of teaching you the other phases of the game that have less variables. For example, introducing yourself (is pretty straightforward) , making the attraction that you created mutual (kissing, mutual hand caressing) and closing the deal after it's mutually on (arousal, sexual mindsets). If you can get these 3 things down you might not be a super cool pua, but will have a good life with women because you will be capitalizing on your opportunities instead of blowing them.
And by blowing opportunities I mean not meeting the women who want to meet you (the ones who give you eye contact and hover around you or are just helpful when you go talk to them) , not making attraction official when a girl is obviously into you (ie. she stays) and not being able to close the deal with a woman who is down because you have sexual hangups or don't know how to arouse her.
But back to that elusive attraction question. You have all these products like 10 second attraction, The attraction code, Stealth attraction, 100 different attraction switches - it goes on and on forever. Attraction is a million dollar business. Probably 90% of the products are about some guys theory on how to create attraction. And there have been no shortage of new launches lately all promising to teach you the same thing...the "secret"to attraction.
You can even break most forum posts down into 4 categories:
1) Question about opening and starting a conversation
2) How can I create attraction - why wasn't she attracted to me?
3) How could I have escalated - I'm scared to escalate. (aka how can I make attraction overt and mutual)
4) She really likes me but how can I close her? (arousal, logistics, sexual mindsets)
And for the most part you could easily help him with #'s 1, 3 and 4. But when it comes to #2 the debate could go on forever.
The seduction community is actual pretty helpful if you take out the whole "what creates attraction part" and implement the other tips on things like starting more conversations per night, making attraction mutual, and how to get sexual with a woman who already likes you. Good stuff - but once you start the "attraction debate" it's not long before we get deep into mental masturbation and are left more confused than when we started.
Before you worry about attracting every single girl you meet you need to know what to do when a woman IS attracted to you. This is really step one. It may sound easy, but even guys who are good with women constantly screw this up. But introducing yourself, making the attraction you created mutual and closing the deal is definitely a skill that you can learn.
For me, making the attraction that is already there mutual - in other words, manifesting the attraction I just created into something physical - is the first goal of escalation. It builds compliance and makes things much easier. The 2nd goal is arousal.
But posts like these are helpful because there are many guys who can create attraction in women - but never seem to be able to make the attraction they created mutual. They are either too scared or don't know how to escalate properly. This is a huge problem for many, many guys. Fortunately, unlike attraction, these issues can be fixed rather quickly.
Now my move for making attraction mutual may be different than yours - but we all have our reasons for using different techniques. In the end though, all of our ideas on things like starting conversations, making attraction mutual and closing are pretty similar in the community.
In contrast, trying to copy and implement another guys method for creating attraction will for the most part remain elusive.
I like to say - attraction is something you work on BEFORE you get to the bar. There are NO shortcuts to being an attractive person and there is no magic pill for creating attraction. But that doesn't stop people from trying to sell it. It's a lot like the weight loss industry. We know in most cases that over time eating healthy and exercise will help you lose some weight. But some people don't want to do the hard work. People don't want to wait. They want the magic pill, the shortcut.
As such, we will probably never stop trying to crack that attraction code.
The conversation continues...
Re: Chopan's OP How I Get Kisses - which like most of his posts was excellent. I went slightly OT responding to a reply in that thread so I started a new topic.
