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Original discussion thread: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=102892&fid=179
Now, despite my struggles in bar/club game, I have already laid over 30 women (including a few true HBs) from online game» in a 3 year span, so I feel like I have some insight here to share.
My method is simple. Bonehead simple. And based on experience, successful online game» mostly comes down to five things:
1.) Have a profile pic where you look good.
2.) Convey a fun, interesting personality through your profile and through all interactions.
3.) Don't come across as an AFC loser, poonhound, or stoner in your profile or opener. No advertising for "casual encounters," describing yourself as "just an average guy," telling the world how you've got the biggest cock in the world, or plastering "420 friendly!" all over your profile. These things are DEATH!
4.) Put in the numbers. Online game» is almost completely a numbers game.
5.) Give girls plenty of opportunities to meet you. If she doesn't meet up initially, just keep chatting with her and give her opportunities as long as you feel comfortable devoting time to her. She's not really a flake unless she stands you up, so don't abandon hope if you can't score a meeting after chatting for a few days, or even a few weeks.
That's really all there is to it, honestly.
Now... some finer points, observations, and elaborations:
DON'T EXPECT MANY SUPER HOT WOMEN ON AN ONLINE DATING» SITE
A lot of guys complain about the lack of hot women on dating sites». Seriously, dude, what do you expect? Women get approached all the time in our society, which means they don't really have to put themselves out there that much. Any woman knows that all she has to do meet a guy she's into is to hang out at a place she likes and flirt. That means that few HOT women will see the need to put up an online dating» profile, let alone pay membership fees, to meet men, because they just don't have to.
Does that mean that hot women aren't online? No. It just means there are FEWER of them there than you will see on the street. This has been true of every online dating» site I've found (although Myspace used to be really good for online gaming of hotter women... who actually uses it anymore?). And when you do find a hot woman on an online dating» site, most likely she's going to have kids, be on the rebound from a bad LTR, a bit neurotic, a pothead, etc.
I'm not saying these are necessarily bad things, just that's what you should expect. If you're ok with it, then it's a non-issue.
FIRST CONTACT
So, once you've found a woman on your site of choice with a profile you like... how do you approach?
Ideally, the site will have a link to an IM program (yahoo messenger, AIM, or an on-site IM) you can use to get in touch with her and chat in real time. If so, I bypass the PM entirely and go straight to the IM. I get much better responses that way.
If I do have to use a PM, my only goal is to spark a conversation and get a respone so I can move to the phone or IM. My message will be fairly brief with some type of humor and a reference to something she said in her profile (but not an OBVIOUS reference, like "I love redheads..." or "So you like horeseback riding? Me too!"). I'll close by asking a qualifying question of her, preferably in a humorous way. If the site has the feature, I'll attach my best pic so it's right there when she opens up my PM.
That's all you need from the first contact. The idea is just to spark a conversation.
When making the initial contact, you want to avoid the obvious pitfalls most guys make:
Don't just say "What's up?" Especially not in a PM. It's just lame and boring. You want to get her attention.
Don't go with some totally boilerplate, vague "Hey! You look interesting. Let's chat" type of message.
Don't list your resume like it's a job application.
Don't copy and paste your profile as if she's too stupid to click on it herself.
Don't be bland and present yourself as "just an average guy." Nobody wants to settle for "average" when there's something better around. Even someone who is average herself.
THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF IM
Here's where it happens for me. IM is the meat of my game, by far, and it's so very easy. Basically, I just pay attention to what she says, and lead the conversation to sex through a sense of humor. I didn't realize it until I typed this up, but underneath this you'll find the same basic structure as Mystery's M3 model, only dumbed down.
So... once you've got her IM info and seen her on... how do you chat via IM?
First, I give her an interesting opener. "What's up?" can work sometimes, but it'll often get you ignored, too. Opening with an abstract conversation about some band or movie you see in her profile won't usually get you laid, either (even though I have an AFC friend who swears by this, with pathetic results... ).
Personally, my motto on online gaming is "When the going gets weird, the weird go pro!"
Online game» is very low risk. If you get shot down or blown out in online game», it's not nearly as frustrating or embarrassing as in person. Embrace this aspect to really take chances and put yourself out there!
I like to throw the strangest, oddest, most random thought out there as an opener: the more humorous the better, and it doesn't even have to have anything to do with her. She'll probably respond with a confused "???," but I've at least got her attention. From there, I'll play off my previous absurdity with a deadpan joke that builds on it. This is how I DHV (aka "prove I'm not a boring chode poonhound").
After this, I transition to actually introducing myself and get her name, then something interesting I noticed about her profile and build on that. I will flirt with a light teasing and c&f here, while also working to build rapport and relate her interests and background to my own. I tend to ask a lot of questions at this stage and let her do most of the talking early on, while I just hang back, take in what she's saying, and occasionally crack a joke on it (doesn't have to be cocky, just funny). I like this because the more a girl talks to you, the more she feels like she knows you.
If we hit an awkward dead spot in the conversation, my favorite technique to spark something is "I'm bored. Tell me something interesting." Then I riff off whatever she says and we're back on track.
INTRODUCING SEX
Now, with enough c&f humor, I can slowly ramp up the intensity and make it more and more sexual with innuendos, sexual puns, jokes, etc. This is extremely easy to do online. Besides, she's probably sitting there alone, looking up porn while we're chatting. I will often accuse a woman of this at some point, and you'd be amazed how often they tell me I'm right.
I use sort of a ladder in ramping up the c&f to the sex talk, but I honestly don't have it codified as a system. I start with just lightly joking with her, maybe teasing her about trying to seduce me, etc. Usually by the end of an hour I get her rubbing her pussy and telling me how she'd like me to fuck her.
I lead the conversation to sex, but in a very relaxed, fun way so that she wants to go there with me. I like to use "iceberg theory" when talking about sex: what I show on the surface only hints at the 80% that lies beneath, but we both sense what's really there. By only skimming the surface of sex through jokes and innuendos, it's less "profane" and less "official," making rejection less likely. The sex talk MUST be humorous, though. The humor keeps it from being creepy. It's the spoonful of sugar that makes her want to go down
Anyway, the big thing here is calibration: if she responds favorably ("haha," "lol," or a comeback of her own) to my sexual humor, I'll continue slowly ramping it up. If she does not respond favorably (usually by ignoring the comment) I'll pull back on the sex for a while and work a more G-rated style of humor.
A favorite technique of mine, after I've worked up to where she's comfortable with sexually charged remarks, is to crack a couple of them, then follow with a seemingly innocent question like "So what are you into?" or "What's the wildest thing you've ever done?" About 90% of the time, she will voluntarily tell me how she likes to be fucked, or confess to some sex act that belongs in the letters page of Penthouse. The other 10%, she asks "You mean sexually, or in general?" My response: "Take your pick." They ALWAYS pick sex. Always.
Once a woman has revealed these things to you, it's ON. You can get away with almost anything after this. At this point, she's worked up and I will often just directly ask her what her favorite fantasy is, then talk about how we can do it together. However, I try to avoid cyber (or phone) sex if possible because I find it makes it harder to actually fuck her in real life.
What I do when she's super horny and thinking of how I'm going to fuck her the way she wants to be fucked is to start finally expressing interest in meeting her. I'll talk about how I've got a big bed that has room for one more, how I'm about to cook the most amazing food and she should come over, etc. I look for signs of interest in a real meeting from her at this point.
SCORING THE MEETING
Once she's indicated her interest in actually getting together, then I'll give her my phone number and tell her to call me. If she gives me hers and says to call her instead, I will. Once I get her on the phone, I keep cracking jokes and basically just having a great time together, but I dial the sexual humor way back. I do this because I want her comfortable with me as I start structuring opportunities to meet in person. I don't want her ASD getting in the way of a meeting and creating a flake.
Now, if you're not aware... girls you meet online don't always look like their pics, or they may have some weird thing about them that you can't tell from a computer screen. There is nothing in the world more awkward then scoring a hookup with a girl online, then seeing her at the door and having to apologise to your dick for the warpig you're probably still going to fuck. That's why it's important that you meet to someplace public and casually screen them (I like at least 20-30 minutes over lunch, coffee, etc.) before you get together for the main event.
And main event it will be. If you can get a woman from the internet to meet you with an accurate photo and phone conversation, you will probably be fucking her. Just display the same personality you did in your online and phone interactions, be well groomed and dressed, be confident» in your physical escalation, calibrate according to any apprehension on her part, and don't act like a serial killer. She's already told you she wants to fuck you by this point, so any LMR you get is just her own personal ASD.
I hope this helps. Feedback, comments, etc. are welcome.
OK, I've been struggling pretty damn badly to get bar/club game down lately. But rather than keep moping about that on here, I want to do something constructive. I thought that laying out my online game» might be useful.
