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Original discussion thread: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=103042&fid=8
Professor P. asked if I was free and ready to commit to the project earlier in the semester; I said yes... I am available to work on this project. He didn't ask if I was free to work 40 hours a week on it... He said he was going to pay me through an REU position.. even though it's not technically "research". I said "sounds good."
Today he asked what my weeks looked like and I told him I was busy from 9-5 M-F working with another professor. He was SHOCKED. He got VERY emotional, threw his wallet and glasses around like a little kid, acted very childish towards the secretary... it was sad. Go American education.
He's upset because I can't legally be hired to work under two REUs (research positions). How would I know that? I told him I wasn't aware of it and he said "that's your fault." It's not my fault. He assumed that by "free", I would be around 40 hours a week, M-F. This eliminated the need to ask any questions that would raise awareness of the fact that I was employed under another REU. He asked me TODAY what my weekdays looked like. The issue lies in his assumption...
He got huffy and told me to go to the Dean to address the situation... to tell her I agreed to work on two full time REUs and see what she says to do. I said "I'll gladly talk to the dean but I won't lie. I agreed to work on one full time REU on paper, and another contract position verbally with you. I haven't signed anything for this position. Feel free to talk to her yourself, but I'm going to explain exactly what's happened." He got even more upset... flinging his hands in the air. I was totally composed, good posture, strong, dominant eye contact... it felt weird.
I tried to convince him that the project he had in mind does not require 40 hours a week to get done by the end of the summer. He was extremely stubborn in his requirement for "40 hours a week".
He said I wasn't truthful with him. I said there was no deception involved whatsoever. I would have clarified any conflicts once I saw the conflict in the contract. It wasn't my intention to manipulate or deceive...
"I'm passionate and genuinely interested in this position; I think it would have a positive impact on our surroundings... the university, our engineering department..."
He said "I'm a doctorate... I've written and published theses... " I said "I respect you for that.. you're achieved. I just think there were some assumptions made that maybe... shouldn't have been made."
He said a couple good friends of mine couldn't take the position because they weren't US citizens. That pisses me off too. A close friend of mine who is JUST as qualified to be employed for this project can't because she fell out of a vagina that wasn't in the US. Not the teacher's fault, just another fucked up aspect to this reality.
He STILL wants to keep me on, despite our little altercation. I said "I just want to clarify another thing before I agree to anything else verbally..." I told him I had the pinnacle of productivity at my apartment; three screens, no interruptions, I can get very focused and be extremely productive. I couldn't work on this unless I can work from home. He said that would be fine, but that we would have to have meetings. I'm going to convince him that I can send him weekly e-mail updates.
I just thought this was a pretty cool indicator of change. A year ago I would've shat myself when he got pissed. To be honest... I feel good. This guy is 35+ years old, an established professor, and I just walked away from this thing feeling like I was the one in control. He's still trying as hard as he can to get me employed legally for this thing too. (update: I just signed the contract for this position yesterday. This feels AWESOME.) I feel bad now that I'm sober... still a temporary "self-righteousness high". Whatever, I'm proud.
Most people would probably say I should have kept my mouth shut... submitted... been thankful/apologetic... I wanted to test my own boundaries out. This was an extreme and it felt fucking exciting. Especially considering I was on zero sleep and buzzing.
This is something that I would have NEVER imagined going through a year ago. Goes to show how malleable people really are.
This is a little incident that I see as an indicator of improvement. Note that this all occurred at 10 in the morning after a night of drinking and no sleep. I think it may have helped... I was perhaps a little more irritable, honest, less reserved.
Here's the situation: I was hired by two different professors for two different jobs this summer. One is a full time research position I'll be doing in an office. The other is a big software contract project that I planned on working on from my apartment (or outsourcing entirely). This is Professor P.
I said some pretty bold shit:
"for future reference, clarify what you mean by 'free'"... that'll avoid any confusion."
"It's not my responsibility to make assumptions about what you want to know; if you need 40 hours a week, ask me if I'm free for 40 hours a week."
He kept telling me he was upset... "I understand you're upset, it doesn't change the fact that we need to figure out whether or not this is going to work."
He tried to convince me to work on it a little for free since he couldn't legally pay me... figure out how to pay me at the end of the summer. I said I cannot do that. He got upset. Threw his shit on the table... put his hands in his head... I asked if there was a problem... he said "I just need a minute..." clearly PISSED. He said he's never been so upset. Are you kidding me?
