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“Does Romance Have A Place In Dating? Part II” – October 18, 2001
This week I would like to talk about a few of what I might call “more normal” ideas about women and dating.
Last week I talked about how most guys either have no clue about romance, or they use it too much… which screws everything up for them.
There is one aspect of romance that I have found very useful to know more about and use. It’s the concept of how to create a setting that will create more of a feeling of attraction inside of the woman that you are with.
WARNING: What I’m about to share with you is not a magic bullet». It’s no substitute for a cocky, funny personality and great skills. Using this alone will not make you successful with women.
With that said… I’ve found that there are a few things you can do in your immediate environment to “accelerate the mood”, so to speak, when you are with a woman.
Women have very active senses… usually much more so than men.
If you have already sparked the attraction between you and her, introducing certain sensory stimulus will usually increase the attraction, and can lead to a more, shall we say “physical” demonstration of that attraction.
OK, let’s say that you’ve had a fun night out with your girl (and of course, because you read Double Your Dating» you knew where to take her that was fun and inexpensive) and you’re back at your place (Of course, she came inside because you learned how to get her to come in from the book too… right?).
And then you use the Kiss Test which you learned in an earlier newsletter… and you’ve just kissed for the first time. Now what?
Well, most guys make the HUGE mistake of trying to grope the poor girl… which, of course leads to the inevitable “I think that we’re moving a little fast. Let’s take things slower.” Translation: “None for you tonight, and if you try that again, none for you anytime in the next 10 dates.”
Instead, try this:
After that first kiss, pull back and look into her eyes and say “Yum.” Then stand up and say “Let me see if I can do something about this setting” in a suspenseful tone of voice.
Here’s the recipe:
1) A few candles.
2) Some incense.
3) A glass of wine (if you both drink and are of legal age).
4) Sade’s Greatest Hits.
I know it sounds simple, but let me explain the recipe now that you know the ingredients.
Remember the formula “Two steps forward, one step back” from a few weeks ago? Mix up these ingredients with that concept… and VIOLA! More attraction.
You probably don’t need to learn how to light candles, open wine, and play music. If you do, refer to the instructions that come with the products.
I personally like to introduce these as great ways to interrupt the kissing (and whatever else is going on).
Try this:
1) Kiss Kiss
2) “Let me see if I can do something about this setting”
3) Light candles and incense, lower lighting
4) Kiss Kiss
5) Open wine and put on Sade
6) Kiss Kiss
7) Watch out, because something good is about to happen.
Here’s what’s going on in her mind:
“Oh, we’re kissing. I’d better not let this go too far.”
“What? Why did he stop kissing me? Oh, candles. I love candles…”
“Wow, this is turning into a make-out session, maybe I’d better put on the brakes.”
“What? Why did he stop again?”
“Ohhh, I LOVE Sade. Her voice is so sexy. And this wine is nice. Hm, I wonder why he isn’t trying to jump my bones. Maybe he doesn’t think I’m a good kisser. Maybe he changed his mind. Well I’m not going to let that happen. I’ll show him…”
Do you get it?
By simultaneously creating tension while making the setting more and more ‘romantic’ you will stir up her ATTRACTION towards you, and make her be the one who ultimately gets so worked up that she can’t help but have you.
Nice.
Of course there are many other things you can do that are romantic, like sprinkle rose petals on the bed, pull out some Godiva chocolate, or light up the fire and grab a blankie.
It’s really up to you.
The key is to use these things sparingly, and use them with the concepts that you’ve already learned to AMPLIFY THE ATTRACTION that you’ve already created with your personality.
As you’ve probably noticed, I don’t like to talk that much about topics like this, but every once in awhile I think it’s important to integrate some more ‘normal’ ideas into the mix.
So remember, use these things with women who are already feeling the attraction, not to create it!
By the way, thanks for all of the great feedback and success stories! If you have one that you’d like to share with me, just type up a quick email and shoot it off to me at [newsletter sign-up link]. I just might use it in the next Mailbag. Please keep it short, and if you have a question, send it to the same address.
If you still haven’t downloaded your copy of my eBook, Double Your Dating, then do yourself a big favor and get it. It’s taken me several years to learn, find, test, and refine all of the wisdom in that book. It’s the best investment you’ll ever make in your dating life, and I use every one of the ideas inside it personally. Just go to:
…and download your copy now. You’ll be reading it in just a few minutes, and learning the exact techniques that have improved my love life dramatically.
Talk to you soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
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