 |
|
“Q&A: New Conversation Skills To Attract Women” – June 30, 2005
OK, so GET THIS…
I’m reading through some of the bazillion emails I get every week, and I come across one of the best emails that I’ve read in a LONG time.
Are you ready for the interesting part?
It’s from a MARRIED GUY.
Yep, you read that right. He’s married.
He reads the newsletters and uses the things he learns to improve his marriage. Go figure.
This guy was able to explain in a few paragraphs a concept and technique that I personally use, but have been unable to actually explain and verbalize well.
I wish I would have written what you’re about to read, but I didn’t (But I’m still a cool guy because I wrote what came before and after it).
Check this out…
***Conversation Technique***
Dave,
I’m still having great success with a rekindled marriage using you’re Tips on my wife. Thanks a million. Listen, I keep reading over and over in the MailBags guys wanting to know how to start, then keep a conversation going with women. I work for a major oil company and have been through many of there training courses on dealing with people. One particularly interesting course was on “Information Seeking”. For this we first practiced picking up on “Key words or phrases” the subject said. For instance, I’ll try and give an example using c&f even though you wouldn’t use this professionally on the job. Lets say you see this great looking chick on the street and you tell her, “That’s an unusual looking dress you’re wearing. Was that made out of a shower curtain?” She says, “Your mean! No, I bought this from the Old Navy store.” Key Words: Old Navy. “Oh, so you’re in the Navy, huh?” “No silly. You know, the big store over at the Mall.” Key word: Mall. “Oh, so you like going to the Mall and buying strange looking dresses do you? Do your girlfriends buy them also?” “My girlfriends are neat dressers and my dress is very popular I’ll have you know!” Key phrases: “girlfriends are neat dressers” and “dress is popular”. “Well, if your girlfriends are neat dressers in a popular dress like you’re wearing then I’m going into the shower curtain clothing business…” I know, this is a lame example but the lessons are this.
1) You start a conversation with however you want then pick out key words or phrases from what the person says.
2) You repeat them in what you say then listen for new key words in there next response.
3) You add a little something new into the conversation REPEATING there words you’re using as Key words or phrases. This tells them you’re listening, even though you’re turning things around to be c/f in this situation.
Once we learned to keep someone talking for 5 minutes, then 15 minutes the company actually hired total strangers from a job soliciting company to come and be our subjects. While being videotaped we had to get the person talking and keep them talking for 30 minutes. One important note: If a person brings up something personal or whatever, they wouldn’t have mentioned it if they didn’t want to talk about it. These are great to Key in on. My subject mentioned she was going through a divorce and her ex-husband was a total jerk. I keyed in on this and it’s amazing what a total stranger will tell you once you build a little rapport. When watching the video you pick up on mistakes or you see something different you could have said. You also pick up on Key words and phases you missed. It just takes a little practice. This is just one example of how you can start a conversation and keep it going. Hopefully it can be of help to you’re readers.
JTM
Texas
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Awesome.
This is an EXCELLENT description of how to keep a conversation going, keep it interesting and unpredictable, and talk about ANYTHING and have it be fun.
Read it again.
Now let me sprinkle a little magic dust on this, and tell you how I use this technique personally.
When I’m having a conversation with a woman, I’m not just listening for ANY key word… I’m listening for a particular KIND of key word (or words).
I’m always on the alert for any words or phrases that can be twisted, turned around, misinterpreted, and misconstrued (is that a word?) in one of a few particular ways…
…namely in a way that says she stupid, ditzy, sexually crazed, or acting suspicious.
For instance, in your example above you suggested the following:
“That’s an unusual looking dress you’re wearing. Was that made out of a shower curtain?” She says, ” Your mean! No, I bought this from the Old Navy store.” Key Words: Old Navy. “Oh, so you’re in the Navy, huh?” “No silly. You know, then big store over at the Mall.” Key word: Mall. “Oh, so you like going to the Mall and buying strange looking dresses do you? Do your girlfriends buy them also?” “My girlfriends are neat dressers and my dress is very popular I’ll have you know!” Key phrases: “girlfriends are neat dressers” and “dress is popular”. “Well, if your girlfriends are neat dressers in a popular dress like you’re wearing then I’m going into the shower curtain clothing business…”
Good. Nice one.
Now, let’s dial it up a little bit…
She says “No, I bought this from the Old Navy store…”
Instead of just keying into “Navy” and saying “Oh, so you’re in the navy, huh?”, why not take it to the next step and actually MAKE FUN of her.
“Oh, so is this what guys used to wear in the Navy a long time ago… in the OLD Navy?”
Now you’re BUSTING on her as well, AND it’s funny.
She says “No silly. you know, the big store over at the Mall.”
You might try “What kind of MALL are YOU shopping at? And do your girlfriends buy dresses like that one too?”
Again, you’re hinting that she has funky taste and she shops in weird places.
She says “My girlfriends are neat dressers and my dress is very popular I’ll have you know!”
You could go with “Oh, you have girlfriends? You have more than one? Do they all know that you think of them as a girlfriend? Or is one of them the special one? By the way, if you have cute girlfriends, then I think you and I are going to get along VERY well.”
…are you with me here?
What I’m doing is NOT ONLY looking for key words to latch onto, but I’m ALSO looking for ways to spin them to make fun, tease, and subtly suggest various kinds of “racy” topics.
When done in a funny way, it’s magic.
Once upon a time, a guy I know very well went into a nightclub.
He was talking to a girl at that club for awhile, when she said “Well, I’m getting tired. I think it’s time for me to go home.”
The guy answered “Go HOME?! I just met you. I’m not going HOME with you!”
She said “No, I mean I’M going home. I’m tired.”
He shot back “Maybe you don’t hear me. I’m not going home with you, so don’t even ask anymore.”
She said “No, that’s not what I’m saying…”
He replied “And besides, I’m sure my place is nicer than yours… so if anything, you’re coming home with ME.”
This went on and on for about an hour or so.
And you guessed it, she went home with him.
I saw it happen with my own two eyes.
Another off-the-wall (but pretty funny) example of this is a story that a good friend of mine told me about one of his friends.
His friend was talking to a girl at a club, and she was talking about what kinds of things she enjoyed doing with her spare time.
She said “…I like to go clubbing…”
He came back with “Oh, like baby seals?”
lol… Now, that might not get a girl to come home with you, but it’s damn funny. Love it.
This technique is GREAT for keeping a conversation fresh, fun, unpredictable, and FUNNY (if you know how to do it just right).
Use it.
Right now you’re probably thinking to yourself:
“Wow, that’s really great. I sure wish there was a resource available that could show me hundreds of great ideas like that… so I could know exactly what to do from when I first meet a woman to the first date… all the way up until we get physical and beyond…”
Guess what?
It’s right here:
…and it’s absolutely JAM PACKED with so many great, interesting, and useful ideas for meeting and dating more women, you’ll be shaking your head when you’re listening to it. Guaranteed.
…and if you haven’t downloaded your copy of my online eBook “Double Your Dating“, then maybe I haven’t mentioned it enough times. You can download it and be reading it in literally MINUTES from right now. Go get it:
I’ll talk to you again soon!
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. If you’d like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what’s working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the “Your stuff is great” and “I don’t need to tell you how well your stuff works” comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics… because this helps other guys to see what’s working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write “Success Story” in the subject line of the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you’re from.
5) Send it to me at:
…don’t just hit “reply” to this email. Thanks!
INFORMATION ABOUT THIS QUESTION & ANSWER ARCHIVE:
This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit http://www.doubleyourdating.com/.
The primary textual contents of this archive is Copyright©2001-2008 by David DeAngelo. All Rights Reserved. By your accessing this archive, you understand that the information contained in within is an expression of opinions, and they should be used for personal entertainment purposes only. You are soley responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold David DeAngelo harmless. All names have been changed or deleted to protect the contributors, and questions/quotes have been edited for clarity. By sending David a question or comment you are agreeing to allow him to use it in future articles, newsletters, and writings. Please keep this in mind when you send your e-mails.
DISCLAIMERS:
The content of this archive is reproduced here with permission from David DeAngelo. Visual enhancements and search features have been added by the fastsediction.com webmaster to facilitate the reading and researching of the content. The raw text as it appears here is exactly as it appeared in the original context (e-mail newsletter or published material). Products, services, or external web sites mentioned or linked to in this archive does not denote endorsement of those items. The contents reprinted here are the opinion of the original writer(s) and are not necessarily the opinion of, nor endorsed by, the owner(s) or operator(s) of fastseduction.com. The archive enhancements are generated automatically and there may be occasions where the visual cues don’t correlate exactly with the textual context; most of the time, though, the enhancements are pretty accurate. The archive is updated as regularly as possible, whenever new content is available.
