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Natural Class, Session One: Confidence
by Playboy
of Cutting Edge Image Consultants
February 3rd, 2006
“Hey Stephen, I am a huge fan man. You’ve helped me tremendously. I love your ebook, and the Natural Attraction audio program really rocks. One thing I can’t seem to conquer though is my own fear when it comes to women. I lack confidence man. I know you must hear this a lot, but what’s a guy to do? Anytime I try to approach, or escalate matters, I freeze up. I was out with a woman recently, and I KNEW it was time to kiss her but simply could not do it. What’s the deal man!!?? Can you help?
Tom
Minneapolis, MN”
Confidence with women...the age old dilemma. Most guys suffer from a lack of confidence when it comes to women. So, first of all, don’t feel BAD. You are in the majority. In truth, I have stumbled across a LOT of reasons why guys suffer a lack of confidence with women.
The one issue though that continually comes up for guys when faced with a beautiful woman is….shame. That’s right. Want to know the one thing that prevents you from feeling confidence with women? It’s shame.
Our culture does not promote assertive, aggressive expressions of masculinity. In fact, I am confident in saying that our present day culture is emasculating us into wimps and boys. Most of us are raised by our mothers, as the divorce rate is so high, and mothers traditionally receive custody of their children. So, what are we to do?
I want to give you two things to do here which can help you right away:
1) Get physical
2) Find a mentor
When I say get physical I mean for you to get in touch with your bodies. Work out, lift weights, swim, camp, chop wood etc. Find an activity that helps you feel like a man and do it regularly. There is nothing wrong with yoga and baking classes, but they encourage the develop of feminine energies and need to be balanced with some more rugged, physical activities. Feeling shame is essentially a lack of acceptance of our own masculine desires. One way to help you conquer this shame is to encourage the development of your own masculinity. Do this through the body.
A mentor is vital to your development. In fact, I have a few guys I talk to on an ongoing basis. Having someone that you can talk with and model your behavior after is essential. This person will eventually help retrain you to think like a man. Find someone who has what you want. That could be a relationship, a thriving career, or maybe just a strong masculine presence which is naturally attractive to women. Whoever it is, spend as much time with them as possible. Feel free to let them know that you are interested in their input and feedback, and that you’d like to contact them semi-regularly. You will find that, via osmosis, you develop new and empowering habits which serve you in your life.
Put these two ideas into action right away! I realize it may seem a bit off the original topic of confidence. In truth, it is DIRECTLY related. If you felt your truest masculine nature with no shame, you would have no problem at all approaching, attracting, and relating with women. Truthfully, you wouldn’t be able to keep them away from you.
I wish you all the best!
Playboy
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