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Your Most Powerful Tool
by David Shade
of Masterful Lover
July 8th, 2006
Your Most Powerful Tool
During my last two years of college, I had a college sweetheart who I found to be very cute and sexy. She also happened to be very intelligent, very high self esteem, and extremely sexual.
We had very good sex. We did it often and always had simultaneous orgasms.
But here's where it gets really interesting...
One day she said to me "As you know, I love horses. Well, I also admire how they are very animalistic when they have sex. And when we do it doggy style, I sometimes imagine that I am a horse and that I am being very animalistic."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. But of course I said "Oh good Baby, I love that you are able to feel animalistic."
I had certainly heard that women like to be "animalistic." I never really thought that they went as far as to imagine they were an animal!
So, the next time we did it doggy style, I said to her "Oh yeah Baby, you are being very animalistic!"
She got even more excited. I couldn't believe I was saying this.
I took a big gulp of courage and I said "You are so animalistic, just like a horse. Whinny like a horse!"
She started making horse noises! And she started going crazy!
What do horses do? Whinny? Wee Hee? I dunno.
I continued "Oh yeah Baby, make like a horse! You are getting fucked like an animal!"
She went ballistic. She started screaming in multi-orgasmic ecstasy.
I couldn't fucking believe it. It was so "foreign" to me. But hell, it worked, and very powerfully. Truth is found in reality.
My next girlfriend had no interest in horses, but she did like to be animalistic. I altered what I said to fit the situation. It worked amazingly well.
I was on to something. I varied it further with each subsequent girlfriend. I moved it from being animalistic to being sluty. That worked even better.
I found that the more vulgar and raunchy I got, the more excited they would get.
Over the years I enjoyed refining it even further.
Now to the present...
I was an invited guest speaker at the 2006 Montreal "Cliffslist Convention." I really enjoyed meeting everyone and it was a pleasure to be there.
My presentation was about how to bring out the ruthlessly expressive sexual creature in your woman.
In my presentation, one of the points that I stressed was the following...
Your most important tool in the bedroom is not your tool, it is your voice. Specifically: Dirty Talk. And it is very powerful.
Incorporate this, and it will skyrocket your results...
YOUR MOST POWERFUL TOOL
IS DIRTY TALK.
By far.
It is that mental stimulation that is so critical. It serves to bring out that decadent, primal, carnal, natural sexual woman in her. It makes the entire experience so exciting.
However, some guys have warped limiting beliefs, or timidness, or just have no idea how to go about it.
The following email is an example:
***email from J
Hi David,
I have been with my girl for over a year now and I have yet to give her an orgasm. Now let me tell you that I have never lasted in any relationship more then 6 months tops. This girl is beyond special. I love her with all my heart, yet I can't show it in the bedroom.
Every time I want to pleasure her I can't hold in my own orgasm long enough. Oh, she says things like, "It's alright, Honey." But it doesn't feel alright at all.
And even though she comforts me it still doesn't make me feel alright about myself in the bedroom because I am not able to give her what she deserves. She has to give it to herself because of my inexperience. It stinks.
Furthermore, I can't find that deep spot everyone keeps talking about. Maybe I just don't know it.
I don't even know how to dirty talk properly without thinking I'll hurt her feelings. I mean I'm a nice guy, and she knows that; however, I would like to be able to tell her something dirty every once in a while without my chest feeling so tight.
I never even curse unless I'm quoting something like a joke. That's why I'm so high strung I think is the right thing to say.
Like I said even though she says it's alright, I don't feel aright when it comes to going into the bedroom. How can I make myself feel as good as I do on a daily basis and transfer that into the bedroom to make myself, as well as my girl, feel good?
I would sure appreciate it if you could give me something to do, so I don't feel like I'm a useless lump in the bedroom while she has to give herself her own orgasm while I'm sitting right there next to her.
Thank you for your time.
>>>My comments:
It is amazing that your woman has stayed with you for an entire year. All of the truly sexual women would have left a long time ago.
You are doing everything wrong.
You are using your "tool" to try to satisfy her. Even if you could last longer, it wouldn't work anyway, because you are not leading her mentally.
She has to masturbate when she is with you in order for her to get off. How pathetic.
I am not surprised you can't "find" her deep spot. You may have been stimulating the right spot, but because you do not affect her mentally or emotionally, she is not responding to you at all.
Unfortunate that your chest feels tight when you think about talking dirty to her. You are unable to understand that women actually LIKE dirty talk.
You have many warped beliefs about women and about sexuality. You need a lot of work.
***email from T:
You say not to be a horn-dog and to not talk dirty in the living room. But you used to talk dirty to women over the phone. Could you be more clear on the difference between being a horn-dog and what you do? I heard parts of your cd's. You are a total horndog on these CDs. Please clarify yourself. When and where is it appropriate, man?
T
>>>My comments:
You obviously are not a client of mine. If you had purchased my audio CDs, you would understand all of this. You would have heard me explain the context in which dirty talk must take place. There is a time and place for everything.
You would have also heard me explain the difference between a horndog and a truly sensual lover.
Being a horndog is being selfish and inconsiderate. A horndog is a turn-off to women.
A truly sensual lover, however, is extremely exciting for a woman.
I'll give you two examples that contrast the horndog to the true lover...
Many women test for horndogs by saying something sexual and seeing how he replies.
Let's say that a woman you just met in a night club tests you by saying:
"How do you feel about being dominant? Are you comfortable with that?"
The horndog would reply with: "Oh yeah, Baby, I'll give it to you good! I'll give ya something you can ride."
Turn off!
But the sensual lover would reply: "How do you feel about being submissive? Are you comfortable with surrendering to your strong man?"
You see, he does not take the bait, but instead, he challenges her back.
That was an example of what a more mature woman would test with. A young woman would probably test by saying something more clumsy and less refined:
"What's your favorite position?"
The horndog would reply with: "I'd bend you over and fuck you hard Baby."
But the sensual lover would reply: "That depends."
When she asks for clarification, he would reply: "There is a time and place for everything. When we are feeling close and sensual, we would enjoy missionary as we gaze deeply into each others eyes. (Gaze deeply into her eyes.) And when we feel naughty and horny, we would enjoy doggy to be ruthlessly expressive."
Every question is an opportunity for a pattern :-)
***email from M:
Dear David,
I am in need of your wisdom.
Ive recently just split up from the girl I been seeing for a few weeks, she was great, got to like her a lot. Ive been looking at attraction techniques from other sites which worked well, but I could see things weren't like they were at the start, all of sudden she started seeing less and less of me and she stopped the sex. I really want her back but I know I have to break it off and learn by my mistakes for next 1, so I never want this to happen again. I just read 1 of your recent emails (10 Biggest Mistakes Men Make In The Bedroom). You pointed out a few mistakes Ive done.
For 1. Ive read from another site 'never give a girl what she asks for', so during sex she asked
Her: "Say something nice to me"
My Reply: "Your pussy feels good"
I get the feeling she was looking for something else? Does this put me under the 'horn dog'.
#2 at a seperate time a week later while sex she asked
Her: "I really like you (my name)"
My Reply: "Well actually I like me too"
I only wanted to get her to like me more. Im feeling little confused, wots the difference between a 'horn dog' and 'talking dirty'?
Cheers
M
>>>My comments:
You got it ALL wrong. You obviously have no idea how women work, at least sexually.
NEVER belittle what a woman says when she is trying to make the experience more exciting, or giving you a genuine compliment.
In the things she said, she was simply trying to become closer to you. She wanted to hear what any woman would want to hear. Hell, she was helping you out! She was actually trying to tell you what you should be saying to a woman.
But your replies were inconsiderate and disrespectful. In fact, you pushed her away. That is why she is gone.
Your future will be very dry until you take on the correct knowledge and beliefs that will draw women closer to you, not push them away.
You really need help. The correct help.
***email from S:
I can tell that there is something lacking in our sex life. It could be that my girlfriend wants me to talk dirty to her in bed.
But I am concerned that she will be insulted. I love her very much and I don't want to insult her, but I really want the sex to be good. Do you cover this in your cds?
S
>>>My comments:
In the bedroom, things may start out sweet and loving and romantic. As she becomes more turned on, the context begins to change. When she becomes highly aroused, the context has completely changed. Everything you say in the context of heightened sexual arousal is interpreted by her in a completely different way.
Remember this. Burn this into your brain...
IN THE CONTEXT OF HEIGHTENED SEXUAL AROUSAL
EVERYTHING YOU SAY
IS TAKEN IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WAY.
It will server to arouse her even more and magnify the excitement.
She will not be offended, if you do it properly and in the correct context.
And I sense that you are afraid that you are going to lose her. You are walking on egg shells hoping that you won't make some mistake that will screw it up. No woman is going to respect that.
If you are acting out of fear, you are not BEing a Man. Instead, act out of passion for pleasing her. BE a Man and assert your masculinity that will make the relationship even more exciting for both of you.
***email from Kash in Germany:
Hi David,
I have a success story I'm going to share with you. I bought your audio program on dirty talk a couple of months ago, out of curiosity. Which was what had scared me and at the same time fascinated me to see how dirty women can REALLY get!
Now just yesterday all that listening and mental practicing of using dirty talk came handy. I had a hot 22 year old date on the phone, we couldnt meet since she had a long day of traveling and some guests at her home.
We just talked for a while and while we did, she was feeling me out on how open I am for new things. I said I'm very open for new things, which made her excited. In fact I'm willing and eager to learn new things, and if there are things that I don't like, I still might try it to see íf I might think different about it later.
Which got her even more excited. So she started asking me what I was wearing. She initiated telephone sex in our 5th call. THATS when all your audio advice started coming handy.
I had her coming on the phone two times this morning, and we're meeting up next week to physically enhance what we started over the phone.
Giving women this type of pleasure really IS a gift.
Thanks a lot David!
Kash
>>>My comments:
Women are highly sexual creatures. They love dirty talk.
It is unusual to find one who specifically initiates phone sex, but they exist. And when they do, you better be ready for the job.
Some women may hint at phone sex by saying something like "Are you laying down on your bed?"
The vast majority of women will not specifically suggest it or hint at it, but they WILL respond when you correctly initiate it. And they love it. They end up screaming in orgasmic ecstasy.
***email from Justin in California:
David,
I just have to tell you about my girl.
She is the first girl I've had phone sex with on a regular basis, and I used your phone sex techniques with her. I've made her come when I count to ten, which was AWESOME. I also called her my slut who only wants to get fucked over the phone.
So when I was at her house, I just played off that, she'd do anything I'd tell her. She called me master, she'd come when I told her to, and I haven't even done your trick with the clit, it's just the way I dominate her and how she wants to be dominated.
Of all the advice I've read about girls, yours is the most fulfilling and true.
Thanks for your time, please keep putting out shit that makes a night with me unforgettable, I'll tell her to write you a thank you letter, so you can have some serious bragging rights, cuz what guy doesn't think he's good in bed?
Justin
My comments:
Awesome. You led her through the mental sexual experience on the phone, and then when you were with her, you continued the dirty talk and she was highly responsive to you. Awesome job.
Your woman is truly enjoying her sexuality. You have made the world a better place.
***Testimonial from Daniel G. in CO
There is a lot of great advice available to men related to dating, relationships and sex, however David Shade distinguishes himself from the rest in that he focuses such great detail on seldom discussed and often misunderstood subjects such as dirty talk, role playing and fantasy, dominance and submission, and threesomes - among others.
His explanation of the mind-body connection, and its relationship to these topics often unfairly tabooed by society, initially really challenged many of my misconceptions and limiting beliefs about them, but ultimately helped me to open myself up to a reality of powerful possibilities.
Through some of my own recent experiences, I now have a much better understanding about and acceptance of the reality that these things are actually normal and healthy expressions of human sexuality and that when done in the proper contexts are things that so many women secretly crave, despite often being reluctant, afraid or embarrassed to discuss.
In addition to these insights, I've also learned some amazing physical sexual techniques, several of which I've never found in any of the many books and web posts that I've read.
If you are serious about taking things to new levels, of learning some great ways to really amplify a woman's (and your own) total experience and of setting yourself apart from "all of the other guys" then I highly recommend David Shade's Masterful Lover» Manual and Audio CDs.
>>>My comments:
Thank you Daniel.
Isn't it liberating to have these empowering beliefs?
Remember guys, after an emotionally powerful sexual experience, you absolutely MUST do "post coital re-bonding." You have to hold her close, and tell her how beautiful she is to you, and tell her how close she makes you feel to her, yadda yadda.
This is critical. After a very moving experience, she has to know that you still see her as the sweet loving feminine woman that she wants you to see her as.
Give women incredible pleasure,
David Shade
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