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Questions About Sexual Magnetism
by Etienne Charland
of Shamanic Seduction
November 8th, 2009
Q: I got your ebook a few months ago, and there are still some subtle details I don’t understand, and I would be very grateful if you could clarify on these topics.
A: Sure :)
Q: Have you ever been approached by women on the street? How often? If not, how to meet such women if we don’t approach them.
A: Sometimes I talk to people in the metro, or at the supermarket. My friend likes to talk to women in the streets while going to a bar or when coming back. He’s hilarious sometimes, because he has such a strong character and he doesn’t give a fuck. One time there was a guy begging for money in the streets with a guitar. He asked to try his guitar and went inside the club with the guitar, playing and singing in the stairs. The doorman didn’t even let the guy go inside to take his guitar back and we were all laughing.
Q: Abraham, etc. say that you attract things by wanting (desiring) them, but you REPEL things by NEEDING them
A: Exactly.
Q: But how can you not feel that you need something that you want very powerfully? Wanting sex is a very strong drive in all humans – can you truly say you don’t want it?
A: Honestly, I don’t want it right now. I didn’t stop for the last 8 days, give me a break girls :P One just bought a car so she can see me more often. The feeling of having and expecting is very different from the feeling of needing, and that feeling has a magnetic aspect to it. If so say either or these phrases to a girl in a bar, which one will create more attraction?
- Hey what’s up? I had sex every single day since last week so I really need to take a break tonight and SLEEP alone.
- Hey what’s up? I didn’t have sex for two months and I’m glad to meet you, do you want to dance?
Q: And if a person strongly wants sex, how can he feel he doesn’t need it? (I hope you get my question)
A: If you strongly need it physically, you can do it yourself if it’s been more than a week or two. If you strongly need it emotionally, that’s because you’re trying to fill inner voids. If you fill these inner voids, you can enjoy sex without having so much dependency.
Q: As a secondary question to this – Are we not even supposed to get turned on (which is a natural reaction to an attractive woman)? Because if we get turned on, then we ‘want to get’ something -(ie sex). And since we want it, according to you,we can’t get it.
A: Personally, the attraction from women and the connection turns me on. I get turned on when her pussy gets wet. That’s ‘having’, not ‘wanting’. Sex just flows and happens by itself. I sometimes even use this affirmation: “No matter what I do, I cannot prevent sex from happening.”
Q: If we truly mustn’t either want or need things in order to get them, then we need to be desireless (ie. enlightened, or almost enlightened) in order to get things. So, in order to make your system work, do we need to become enlightened first? (Big job, just to be able to get women)!
A: No. It’s not about being desireless, it’s about surrendering to your desires while removing attachments to them. When you desire while being totally care free, you feel much lighter. One step at a time, you improve your charisma, and that gradually improves your success with women. It’s not black and white, it’s a continual progress.
Q: If ‘wanting to get something’ or ‘needing something’ actually pushes people away, and if this is a universal law, then how can a woman who really wants (or needs) sex get it?
A: Women get sex by surrendering to their desires without attachments and expectations. If she comes to you with too much expectations or if she is too needy, you may be uncomfortable and that would prevent the connection from happening.
Q: You teach that wanting and getting is no good- but you yourself go to bars. Would you really be going there if you didn’t want to find women? Do you go really there just to have a drink?
A: I go there to meet great people and have great experiences, but I don’t really care what happens, I’m still having a good time.
Q: And if you do want to find women even if it’s a subtle, unconscious desire, and you don’t do anything actively to get them – that means you want them (or you want something from them)- shouldn’t that be pushing them away?
A: Yes, I find that to be unattractive. Acting right away on my desires without thinking about it shows confidence and is attractive, but keeping it in my head builds incomfort and shows insecurity. Not caring about sex is also attractive.
Q: You say that we should stop wanting to get something from people – but in reality, almost everyone wants to get something from somebody, even if they don’t show it externally. Not wanting anything from anyone (even very subtly) would mean that the person is enlightened, (or almost) – so how come people still become PUAs through techniques, and get the things and women they really want (without having to wait around for a coincidence to happen and some random woman to approach them?)
A: You don’t have to be enlightened, but any small step in that direction improves your charisma and gives you an invisible advantage over all the other guys. Good PUAs can get laid but it’s usually hard for them to keep any relationships, except for the few ones who accidentally uncover their inner core.
Q: You seem to be saying in your book, that the slightest neediness, or wanting a certain result, at any point during the interaction will drive a woman away. So are we supposed to get rid of our sex drives completely so that we don’t have the slightest feeling of wanting to get sex? (so that we can get it, in the end)
A: I would rather say, surrender to your desires and let go of the attachments and expectations. You know that good feeling you have when you think about sex and it’s taking over all your body, if you walk around with that strong feeling and your state of mind doesn’t get disturbed at all no matter how women respond, and you don’t feel bad if no women respond, that’s very sexy. That’s a raw presence.
Q: If your programme is designed to make a man magnetically attractive to women, doesn’t that mean that it should make him attractive to ALL women, and not just some? Shouldn’t such a man be able to get into bed with almost any woman he approaches (except maybe married, lesbian, etc.)?
A: It does create attraction with almost any women, but it’s up to them to decide whether or not to act on it. And honestly, you don’t have the time and energy to sleep with all of them, and many aren’t for you.
Q: And shouldn’t he be getting approached by hot women all the time?
A: There’s two parts in the equation, so you can’t be responsible for how women respond. I have a friend that women often look at like a candy in the streets. You know when small kids see a candy… ;)
Q: Thank you very much for your time and patience!
A: You’re welcomed!
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