| Information about Tao of Dating |
| Dr. Alex Benzer is a Harvard graduate and former consultant turned dating advice guru. Dr. Alex offers some of the most intelligent and interesting ideas you will read, both based in practical experience and ancient Tao philosophy. You may have heard of the Tao of Physics, but don't miss the equivalent of the Tao of picking up women in the exellent newsletters by Dr. Alex. To find out more about Tao of Dating, visit them at www.thetaoofdating.com. |
<< main archive home < Tao of Dating archive home
THE IRRESISTIBLE POWER OF DEEP MASCULINITY
by Dr. Alex Benzer
of Tao of Dating
November 2nd, 2007
This last weekend, I attended a 3-day seminar which was truly powerful and transformative. So much so that I'm still processing all the insights right now.
I've been interested in the concept of deep masculinity and deep femininity for quite some time.
The unity of opposites, yin and yang, are a big part of Taoist philosophy, and I always had a feeling that polarity was an essential part of male-female attraction.
In nature, this manifests as positive and negative charge being drawn to each other, north and south poles completing each other to form a magnet. It's interesting that you can't have a magnet that's a 'monopole'—gotta have both north and south.
And matter in the form that we see it is electrically neutral—five gazillion trillion electrons balanced by the exact same number of protons. Ions are electrically unbalanced, and that's why they're unstable and looking to react with something with the opposite charge to restore neutrality.
So polarity seems to be this deep property of nature. Neutral things don't attract each other. Whether the polarity of masculine or feminine is a metaphor or some physical reality is hard to tell. But it manifests out there in the real world, and it's worth observing and utilizing the concept.
This is about restoring that polarity to male-female interactions. Someone has to be the feminine pole, and the other the masculine.
Now I have a particular bias towards you gentlemen being the masculine half of the equation. You okay with that? Oh good.
Moving right along. Masculine and feminine are not things that can be measured directly. Like electrical charge, we know them by their properties and effects. Metaphors help us to get a handle on these concepts a little better.
The deep masculine is like a container, and the deep feminine is what it contains. So the contents of the universe—light and energy—are feminine, while space itself is masculine.
The river is feminine, while its banks are masculine. The masculine is what gives containment and direction to the primal forces of nature, which are in essence feminine—wind, storm, rain, bodies of water.
What fluctuates is feminine. What stays still is masculine. One metaphor that was particularly powerful was that of the man as the flagpole and the woman as the flag.
It's the job of the flag to wave, and the job of the flagpole to stand steady so the flag can do its waving.
This is a metaphor that the instructor used several times, and I find it to be a useful one in the context of dating and relationships. What creates a deep attraction in the feminine is the feeling that a man is trustworthy—that even if she fluctuates, that you stay steady.
This gives the feminine latitude to express herself fully and express the goddess within. And when that happens, watch out guys! There is a manifestation of beauty, power, kindness, compassion and deep love unlike anything you've seen before.
But what makes that possible is YOUR being anchored in your deep masculinity—your ability to stand firm and provide the stable base, the flagpole from which she can wave.
One example where this applies is in the context of emotional outbursts and arguments. You may think that when your girlfriend gets upset, she wants you to engage and also get upset. She may even specifically *ask* you to do so.
However, if you were to follow the imperatives of the deep masculine and deep feminine, your job would be hold steady a space for her to express her emotions fully and safely without engaging in that dance yourself.
And you would find a way to love her in that moment for the fact that she is an expression of the deep feminine, and take her deeper into her goddess-hood. Right when she's chewing you out and giving you drama.
This is harder than it sounds (and it doesn't exactly sound easy to start). The instructor demonstrated this with his wife. She got in a mock-argument with him, and he just stood there and looked at her lovingly, then took her by the waist, brought her close in while looking straight into her eyes, dipped her, twirled her and brought her back up close to him.
End of argument. And instead of the drama, there was something deeper and more fun.
Besides the fact that the seminar affected me deeply and has probably changed my neurology permanently (for the good, we hope), it made me realize several things that you guys will find very useful in your dating lives.
The big point is this: when you're coming from a deep understanding of your unwavering purpose in life and are fully aligned with that, and then add to it your understanding and appreciation of the deep feminine as well as your sense of humor about the dance of life (since we're all going to die anyway), you just become this juggernaut of male attractiveness that women find irresistible.
Why? Because there just aren't many men out there like that. And because you can appreciate women in a way hardly any other man can—as the incarnation of the divine goddess.
When you get there, you won't need seduction tricks, you won't need inner game» or outer game—you'll just be. You're coming from such a deep place that all those gimmicks from days of yore will seem quaint.
You will also realize that you have real choice, since what you have to offer will be so darn powerful. At the same time, you will get very picky, because you will develop this acuteness of vision such that you will only settle for the very best—those rare incarnations of the goddess who have the power to take you deeper into your purpose as a man.
I'm skimming over a lot of deep concepts here. We'll talk more about this stuff in future articles, and I'll do my best to get my instructor to do a teleseminar with you all, 'cause this guy is GOOD. In the meantime, I can refer you to the works of David Deida (who was the seminar leader's teacher), especially 'The Way of the Superior Man'. If you don't already have it, GET IT—it'll be the best twenty bucks you've spent in a long time.
And remember to send your questions dra***x@th***.com[ ? ]. I'm eager to hear from you.
The power is within you,
Dr Alex
INFORMATION ABOUT THIS ARCHIVE:
This is an article which has been archived from a
contribution from Tao of Dating,
republished here with explicit permission. Your accessing this article and
any contents within it do not denote any transfer or permission of further
reproduction. Your access of the contents of this article is for private
and personal use only.
By accessing this article, you understand that the information contained in within is an expression of opinions, and it should be used for personal entertainment purposes only. You are responsible for your own behavior, and none of anything you read herein is to be considered legal or personal advice. You also understand and agree that any products you may order as a result of your reading about them in this article are produced and sold independently from us and that any complaints, disputes or other issues which you may have with the sponsors of these products are to be dealt with directly with said sponsors and we are not responsible in any way whatsoever for any issues which you may have with them. If you are not in agreement with any of this, please leave this site now.
DISCLAIMERS:
This contents of this article are reproduced here with the
explicit permission of Tao of Dating and is
Copyright© by Tao of Dating.
Visual enhancements and search features have been added by the fastseduction.com
webmaster to facilitate the reading and researching of the content. Products,
services, or external web sites mentioned or linked to in this article does not denote
endorsement of those items. The contents reprinted here are the opinion of the
original writer(s) and are not necessarily the opinion of, nor endorsed by, the owner(s)
or operator(s) of fastseduction.com. The article enhancements are generated
automatically and there may be occasions where the visual cues don't correlate exactly
with the textual context; most of the time, though, the enhancements are pretty
accurate.
