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The Power of Appreciation
by Dr. Alex Benzer
of Tao of Dating
January 6th, 2008
Recently I was thinking how rarely we take out the time to express our appreciation of people. I've written about the power of compliments before, and this goes beyond that.
See, love and appreciation are closely related things. And the quality of your life is directly proportional to how much of those two you have circulating in your life.
Unfortunately, many people are either too self-absorbed to express love and appreciation for others, or are just sitting there like a black hole, waiting for the goods to come to them but unwilling to initiate the process of giving themselves.
Fortunately, the solution is simple. You can start giving love and appreciation right now. It costs nothing to give, and it's priceless on the receiving end.
Common sense says that if you're giving something away, that implies that you must have some of that stuff. Right? I mean, you can't give away chocolate you don't have.
So if you're giving away love and appreciation, that means you must have tons of it in store. The more you give away, the more of it you must have! Crazy stuff.
But it gets even crazier. Once you start the process of giving away appreciation, after a little while you start to feel so good just from the act of giving that you don't even care whether you're getting any back in return. You already have the fulfillment that comes from being a giver.
So even if you started out the whole process of giving as a high-tech way to barter for love and appreciation for you, after a while, it won't matter to you. (Of course, in the meantime, the universe has sent an avalanche of goodness your way, which is always nice).
So I'm going to start this process myself: thanks to you all for all your letters, for buying my books and audios and my seminars and supporting this venture and being the stand-up guys that you are, all over the world. Many, many wonderfuls to you.
Now go pay it forward (American-speak for 'go do the same for someone else').
Of course, this article is nominally about dating, so:
To apply this to your dating life: when you become an active giver of love and appreciation, two things happen. First, the cosmic law starts to give that good stuff back to you in return (remember Tao of Dating belief #2: 'The universe is a reflection of me').
This is already a good start. But just in case you're not a big believer in this whole cosmic spirit stuff, there is a second, highly tangible benefit which cannot elude you: You will feel damn good. So good that you will glow.
And when you're feeling day-glo good, you are empowered to do whatever you want. You can approach anyone, you can ask anyone out, you can have a blast anywhere you are.
I don't know if can remember now how you felt after, say, a major victory at work, or the success of your favorite team, but you just *know* that you're unstoppable at that point. Who needs technique when you feel fantastic?
The power is within you,
Dr Alex
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