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The Speed of Real Shift
by Dr. Alex Benzer
of Tao of Dating
May 7th, 2008
A good morning in Los Angeles, a good noon in New York, good afternoon in London, and good evening in Stockholm.
In the last article I wrote, I promised to share with you one of the most remarkable letters I've ever received. We'll get to that very shortly.
First, I want to express a little bit of my gratitude and wonderment at the reach of the internet. It has granted me the opportunity to interact with students from all over the planet, which is just fantastic.
One of the side effects of having so much instantaneous communication -- cell phones, email, texting, instant messaging -- is that it seems to speed up our expectation of everything in the modern world: "I want it now!"
Now here's the thing: you may have noticed that there seems to be a correlation between how fast you get something and its quality. "Fast" food is often synonymous with "junk" food.
This is not a coincidence, my friend. Good stuff takes time.
And one of the things that tends to take a LOT of time is meaningful change. Real shift.
In evolutionary biology class in college (taught by the late, great Stephen Jay Gould), we were told that a major evolutionary adaptation -- like gills or wings -- could take a couple of hundred thousand years, sometimes eons, to perfect.
A 'quick' evolutionary adaptation would be one that unfolded over the course of tens of thousands of years. An eyeblink on the geological time scale.
Well my friend. If you're reading this article now, it's because you're evolving, too.
The good news is that the evolution of your spirit and character will take less than ten thousand years. Considering how any one of us has on the order of one century to evolve on this planet, this is excellent news.
The other news is that good, solid evolutionary shift is not going to happen instantaneously. And by instantaneously, we mean over the course of an hour, a day, or even a week.
Real shift takes time and deliberate effort. Fast change will probably give you the same results as fast food -- filling and somewhat tasty right now, with not-so-great consequences down the road.
A monthlong program like the Metamorphosis Mentorship, on the other hand, gives you a chance to really implement new behaviors and make them a part of you.
Some of the learnings will be quick; others will take a couple more attempts. And through repetition, you give your neurology a darn good chance to establish new habits of thought and behavior.
Now you may think that a month is a long time. But just as ten thousands years is an eyeblink in geologic time, a month is an eyeblink in adult life when we're talking about real shift.
For example, let's say you've had a habit that doesn't serve you. Let's say that habit is 'not approaching attractive women in public places.' Let's say you've had that habit for 20 years. How much time do you need to dislodge that?
Probably more than just an hour. Or a day even. Real shift takes time.
Now, as a hypnotherapist, I know that sometimes rapid behavioral change is possible. Which is why I'll be using a lot of hypnosis during the Metamorphosis Program.
I also know how to stack the deck in your favor to make that change LAST.
That's why the idea is to spend one month in concerted effort with your friends so you can get the next 300 months right -- naturally and easily.
Here's what one student of the Metamorphosis Mentorship Program had to say about real shift:
**********LETTER FROM STUDENT**********
"I would highly recommend this course to anyone who has even the slightest inkling of self-accountability and a desire to live a life where they are being true to themselves.
I liked it because, not only did it give me an excuse to get out and meet people, but it also gave me the tools I needed to be doing it for the right reason. In the past I had developed a reputation for being successful with women, but it was as "bad news", for "being a player" and generally just not being the type of man that you wanted your daughter to be around.
I am not as ashamed of this reputation as I am the fact that I enjoyed bringing this kind of emotional pain into the world. There were times I would break couples up, or set women up to take emotional falls just for kicks.
I did this because I had been hurt in the past and was out to hurt every female I could. I have since been in a long-term relationship which ended fairly recently and have been trying to avoid falling back into this emotional wasteland.
My outlook on life has changed dramatically since those days, but until I took this course I didn't know how to successfully interact with women, as a single male, unless I had bad intentions.
Dr. Benzer's course has given me the emotional tools I need to approach women from the right place; one where I can simply enjoy interacting with them for the splendid beings they are.
One great example of this was the complimenting exercise. Some "gurus" give you the impression that the best way to interact with women is by lowering their perceived self-worth. While this may work in the short term, in reality you are lowering both of your "true-worth."
When you think about it; what message are you sending to yourself by trying to lower her self-esteem? You are telling yourself that she really is better than you and you have to make her think otherwise. Whereas by giving her a compliment (sincere, but non-needy), you are saying, "I see this admirable quality about you and I myself am valuable enough to give you this piece of value without asking anything in return"; i.e., we are two equals. In my opinion this is true "inner game»."
To me inner game» isn't having such a huge repertoire of material that you have a come-back for every occasion; it's being so comfortable in your own skin that you are actually capable of coming wholly and sincerely from the heart without worrying about rejection or acceptance. You are just being who you are and doing your thing. This course has done nothing but cultivate and nourish that type of emotionally healthy thinking for me.
I also thoroughly enjoyed the mediations on "no-self" and "galactic consciousness." Given my past inclinations to be an emotional wrecking ball, I found these helpful because they helped me to realize that everything and everyone is connected. Why would I cause pain to another when I could instead bring pleasure and happiness? It just makes more sense to bring goodness and prosperity into the world when you see the world from this perspective.
Finally, I am extremely excited about becoming a multi-orgasmic man. Talk about a valuable skill to bring to the table. I might even have to start calling up ex-girlfriends and see if I can show them my new trick. Plus if I ever manage to make that ménage-a-trois happen (a goal before I die) I have a pretty strong feeling this will be a huge asset. Alright I know it will be. Either way, I'm hellaciously excited about it.
All in all, it's been a great program, I have benefited hugely from it and would recommend it to anyone who's willing to put themselves out there and do the exercises; whether it is someone like me, who needs a better frame for dealing with women, or someone who needs any frame for dealing with women. This course can be a life changing experience; you just have to let it.
Thanks for the opportunity!"
-- Steve M., 28, Alabama, USA
Wow. That is an amazing story.
Pay particular attention to what he said about the real meaning of putting women down. And how you can get to a point where rejection and acceptance are nothing to worry about anymore.
This reminds me of one of the old Roman sayings: "Festina lente." Make haste slowly. Make massive shift in small, incremental steps.
That's all for now. Look forward to speaking to you in a few hours.
The power is within you,
Dr Alex
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