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Anatomy of a Non-Approach
by Jay Valens
of The Art of the Pickup
August 24th, 2006
Today I’m going to talk about an approach that never took place. Not one that was attempted and failed, but one that never even happened.
*** Why in the world would I want to talk about something like that?? ***
Because, more likely than not, it will be familiar to you and I can open your mind to a whole new world of possibilities.
Here is what you might experience on any given day:
It’s a Tuesday afternoon and you just stepped out of your office, home, or wherever it is you might be to go to a nearby the post office and pick up some mail supplies.
On your way to get the packing tape and envelopes you need, you see a very attractive looking girl filling writing something on a package with a big red marker.
She’s attractive but dressed casually, almost plainly; perhaps she’s an office assistant in a nearby business.
You would really love to talk to her but don’t know what to say, so you go about your other business hoping something happens in your environment to sort of “help you out” in meeting her.
You find your supplies and get in line. There’s always a line at the post office!
You notice that red marker girl has gotten in line behind you.
You think to yourself, “Is this a good opportunity to talk to her? What do I say?”
The more you try to think of what to do, the more hesitant you get to say anything at all.
You do your best to keep looking mostly straight ahead, maybe look around the post office a bit, look at your watch, and study the supplies you have in your hands.
You’re wondering if she noticed you.
Would she want you to say something to her?
You’re spacing out on this enough so that when she finally says something to you, you act, but what she says is “The next clerk is open.”
You were spaced out so much that you didn’t realize the next clear was available for the next customer and jump into action to go to the open clerk.
What you don’t notice is that in doing so you cut off the person in front of you!
But they’re nice enough to let it slide… and now you feel a little awkward for doing this.
A moment later the red marker girl is at the next clerk, next to you.
Now she’s to your right, quite open to be talked to, even if for a moment, but now you feel too awkward and don’t say anything.
Your clerk is slow and your interest of lust is already finished paying for her stuff and is on her way out the Post Office.
Dang, you missed your chance.
But wait, the clerk calls out to her that she forgot her change and even runs towards the door to get her attention.
The girl comes back a bit embarrassed, as she seemed to have been a spaceshot herself.
You still don’t say anything and hope that she just looks your way so you can smile and say a witty comment to get her attention, finally, but she doesn’t.
She gets her change and leaves.
A moment later you’re leaving the post office as well and you can see forgetful marker girl walking ahead of you down the street.
It appears like she’s walking in the same direction as you so you get a bit of courage and start walking a bit faster to try to catch up but you still don’t know what to do or say.
You even get a chance to say something but then she turns down a different street than you were going.
You think to yourself, “Oh well, maybe it wasn’t meant to be” and continue on your way.
You will never know what could have happened if you tried something and it will bug you for the rest of the day.
You didn’t do or say anything because you were uncertain of the outcome and, perhaps, avoiding the risk of being rejected.
Well, I am going to give you a peak inside forgetful marker girl’s mind as all this was going on.
Her name was “Molly” but you would never have found that out since you never took any action to do so.
Molly works for a video producer in an office building near the post office.
She’s shy and single and always hoping to meet a guy she can connect with.
On this day she had to drop off a copy of a tape to the producer’s business partners in another city.
As she’s writing the address on the package, she notices an interesting guy walk in and notices him walk by and look at her and seem like he might say something but, instead, walks to the supply area.
She wonders what kind of guy he is and thinking maybe she will get the chance to talk to him, except that she’s shy and, like most girls, need the guy to initiate.
Obviously since she’s too shy to approach and talk to him on her own, as soon as he gets in line she gets in line right behind him hoping maybe the proximity will help.
She’s in line behind this guy for a few minutes but he doesn’t seem to notice her.
He seems distracted, maybe he’s got a lot on his mind?
The line is finally moving ahead and Molly sees her chance to be vocal, to get attention, by saying to the person ahead of her interest of lust that a clerk is free.
To Molly’s surprise, rather than working to get his attention, her vocality caused him to break out of his distracted state to believe he’s the next person in line and he walks over to the clerk.
She finds this kind of silly.
Molly tends to be attracted to guys who are occasional goofs.
After a minute, Molly is happy to see that the clerk next to the cute distracted guy is open and hopes that he’ll say something to her while she’s paying for shipping, but she’s too shy to look over at him to smile or anything like that.
The situation is making Molly a little nervous and feeling a little awkward about herself.
Molly’s clerk finishes the order quicker than Molly thought and now she feels a little self-conscious and quickly starts walking to the door, forgetting her change.
The clerk calls to her and now she feels like a dork for forgetting her change and thinks “OK, this guy will never talk to me now… I’m such a dork!”
She gets her change, walks out, thinking “Oh, well, maybe it was never meant to be.”
If you never want to lose another opportunity like this again, “The Art of the Pickup»” WILL ensure you never do.
Your anatomy professor,
Jay Valens
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