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Get Her Attraction, Throw Out the Band-Aids
by Ray Devans
of The Art of the Pickup
November 13th, 2006
Recently a friend of mine wrote to me and asked me a question that a lot of guys ask. He said that he had been doing well with women, but he kept running into a problem where many of the women he was seeing were giving him the exact same line.
“I’m kind of seeing somebody right now.”
My friend asked me for some good lines to come back at her with. Now I like to help my friends when they come to me with dating problems, so I dropped everything I was doing, and wrote up some quick advice to him. I also attached a past “Pickup Arts” newsletter that helped him understand the advice and gave him a few of my favorite lines for dealing with this situation.
However, later as I thought about it more, I realized I needed to go a step further and hit at the core of the problem.
Let’s get philosophical here for a bit. In life, you have two choices for dealing with problems.
1.) You can deal with the symptoms of the problem.
2.) You can deal with the problem itself.
Often dealing with the symptoms of the problem appears to be the fastest, best course of action. But in the long run it seldom is.
Let’s say your neighbor’s dog is shitting in your yard. You can deal with the symptom of the problem and clean up the shit yourself. Symptom solved.
But in all likelihood the dog will come back and shit there again. Or you can talk to your neighbor, make him pick up the shit, and have him keep his dog on a leash. Problem solved.
Another analogy might be if you got a deep cut. You could keep attacking the bleeding by putting on Band-Aids to stop the bleeding, or you could go and get stitches to heal the wound permanently. Or … stop running with scissors!
So clearly solving problems instead of symptoms is the best course of action, unless you want to have a life where your yard is full of dog shit and you bleed to death.
The same thing holds true in dating and picking up women.
Let’s look specifically of the example of my friend. If one woman says to him “I am kind of seeing someone” then it’s great to pull out the “Band-Aid” of a witty line to get around the objection, and hopefully move forward with her. Better than having no witty line and sulking away with your tail between your legs.
One of the lines I gave him was to say “I understand, we won’t tell anybody about us” and then just keep talking about whatever he was talking about already.
That line works nicely to get around her objection and presuppose that either she is just saying that and it isn’t really true, or that she would be open to cheating with him. It shows confidence in either case and makes him more attractive.
Another thing to say is "yeah, I am 'kinda' seeing someone too" or "aren’t we all?" and then do like above and just keep on talking like its an unimportant speed bump. Your alpha frame and unspoken confidence say that you are better than whoever she is 'kinda' seeing should show through in your actions.
But my friend said many women were saying that to him, so that indicates it has become a PROBLEM, and lines are not as good as finding the root of the problem and solving it long term. So let’s look at reasons for this problem.
There are a number of possible reasons why I think a woman would bring up the boyfriend objection. One is that she really does have a boyfriend, in which case the speed bump advice and lines work. You have no control over whether a woman has a boyfriend so might as well deal with it as best as you can if she brings it up.
But the other very common reason could be that he was making a move on her too fast and she came up with the first thing that she could think of to slow him down, but doesn’t really have a boyfriend. Easier problem to solve, just learn to catch her signs of attraction and wait for them before you make your move. Also, learn how to attract her FIRST, before she even gets the idea to bring up the boyfriend objection.
We have talked about many ways to get attraction in other newsletters, things like displaying masculine body language», reading her body language» and reacting to it, maintaining eye contact, qualifying and challenging her, etc. Knowing these things and applying them is the solution to the problem.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
All of these things and more are covered in detail and demonstrated for you repeatedly in “The Art of the Pickup»” DVDs. So if you want a cure instead of a Band-Aid with women, and if you want to learn to get her attraction before she can even hit you with the famous “I am kind of seeing somebody” line then get your copy now.
Your doctor of preventative medicine,
Ray Devans
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