| Information about The Art of the Pickup» |
| From the producers of FastSeduction.com, The Art of the Pickup» is the next evolution in pickup and seduction training. Learn by seeing and hearing and not just by reading. To find out more about The Art of the Pickup», visit them at www.artofthepickup.com. |
<< main archive home < The Art of the Pickup archive home
Handling Speed Bumps on the Road of Dating
by Ray Devans
of The Art of the Pickup
July 7th, 2006
I want to share an interesting analogy with you that will help you deal with women in a much more cool, calm, and collected way. It is going to really help you get to where you want to go, so read along here.
The analogy has to do with what you do when you come to a speed bump when you are driving in your car.
You see, I was advising a friend the other day about what to do with a woman who was giving him resistance at every step of the way as he tried to get to know her and set up a date. He was getting all flustered and wanted to reply to everyone of the things she brought up to test him.
For example, he had been emailing her for a while, and she just stopped emailing him for a long time. He emailed her back telling her in the mail “I haven’t heard from you in a long time”.
OK, put yourself in his position and let’s call the fact that she wasn’t writing to you a “speed bump”. Imagine you are trying to drive to her place, and she keeps laying out speed bumps along the way to slow you down. It is kind of the same thing, she is trying to slow you down from getting to date her and have sex with her.
The reasons for this can be many and it’s not worth obsessing over too much. She could genuinely be busy, or she could be testing to see how interested or desperate you are, etc.
But now let’s think about what you would do if you came to a speed bump while driving along in real life. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I go over them a lot faster than most people I know. And I never get out of my car and stop to point out to anyone else that there is a speed bump.
I mean, can you imagine that? “Hey, look at this; this here is one of them speed bumps!”
Speed bumps are a fact of life, and so is the fact that women will tend to have excuses and time lags in responding to you. You have to treat both of them the same. You can slow down a little bit if you want, but you don’t make a big deal of it, and by all means you drive over it and keep going. Its amazing though how when it’s a dating speed bump how many guys just freak out our give up entirely.
The other issue my friend was dealing with was that after he did get in touch with her, she mentioned something about her boyfriend in her email.
“Boyfriend, you never told me you had a boyfriend!”
Raise your hand if you ever have thought that in a similar situation. It’s OK, you are probably at home and nobody can see you. I am at home writing this and I am raising my hand, so you are in good company. Happens to all of us.
But from now on that is just a speed bump, OK? Slow down a bit if you want, but just drive right over it and keep going.
See, she may or may not have a boyfriend, but in any case it’s a test. In this case I think it happened because my friend had failed her first test. He told her he had hit a speed bump when he said in his email to her that “I haven’t heard from you in a long time”.
Saying this does nothing except say that you care about the fact that you haven’t heard from her. Its subtext says “my life is boring and I have been counting the days since last you wrote to me, dear princess”.
When hitting that particular speed bump, I personally speed up and have fun bouncing energetically over it. I ignore the fact it is there and write to her saying “How are things with you? Things are great with me; I just did XYZ the other day…” No mention of her not writing, it doesn’t matter.
OK, getting back to the boyfriend speed bump. I first want to mention as an aside here that I tend to never ask a woman if she has a boyfriend, because many women think they will appear undesirable to men if they say no, and will even make up a lie on the spot to avoid that, saying they do when really they don’t.
On the other hand, if you get to the stage of mutual attraction quick enough then you never need to worry about that.
That is what you will learn how to do in “The Art of the Pickup»” DVDs.
So let us say that despite your best efforts not to even hit a boyfriend speed bump, you did. Don’t even acknowledge it; just keep going with your intent to meet up with her.
If she was testing to see you are a cool, calm, collected guy, you pass the test.
If she wanted to know that you are persistent and go for your goal, you pass the test.
If she really has a boyfriend, she might think you are a better candidate for that position, and give you the “interview” after all.
And, worst case, maybe she really has a boyfriend and she puts up a wall instead of a speed bump. The better you get, the less likely you hit a wall.
I told my friend not to even mention the boyfriend in his reply and to just focus on the positive things in her mail and keep going forward.
What are some other speed bumps you might hit?
“I don’t know you that well.”
“You are not my type.”
“I will call you back if I have time.”
“I am really busy these days.”
Etc.
In each case, the point is not to let her see it phases you in any way.
As you go along you will learn ways that work best for you to deal with the common ones, but if you don’t have a standard response, just ignore it, change the subject, and come back later when you have her laughing or feeling good.
So for every minor speed bump you hit, ignore it and KEEP DRIVING.
That concludes this edition of the “Pickup Arts” Newsletter, the takeaway is: for every minor speed bump you hit, ignore it and keep driving, always keep focused on your goal. There is much more to learn, but hopefully you have a good overview you can use for whenever you hit a speed bump from now on.
To get a deeper understanding of how to get past tests from a woman in general and especially after you have progressed a little with her, including how to react and what to focus on, stop by “The Art of the Pickup»” website.
Your driving instructor,
Ray Devans
INFORMATION ABOUT THIS ARCHIVE:
This is an article which has been archived from a
contribution from The Art of the Pickup,
republished here with explicit permission. Your accessing this article and
any contents within it do not denote any transfer or permission of further
reproduction. Your access of the contents of this article is for private
and personal use only.
By accessing this article, you understand that the information contained in within is an expression of opinions, and it should be used for personal entertainment purposes only. You are responsible for your own behavior, and none of anything you read herein is to be considered legal or personal advice. You also understand and agree that any products you may order as a result of your reading about them in this article are produced and sold independently from us and that any complaints, disputes or other issues which you may have with the sponsors of these products are to be dealt with directly with said sponsors and we are not responsible in any way whatsoever for any issues which you may have with them. If you are not in agreement with any of this, please leave this site now.
DISCLAIMERS:
This contents of this article are reproduced here with the
explicit permission of The Art of the Pickup and is
Copyright© by The Art of the Pickup.
Visual enhancements and search features have been added by the fastseduction.com
webmaster to facilitate the reading and researching of the content. Products,
services, or external web sites mentioned or linked to in this article does not denote
endorsement of those items. The contents reprinted here are the opinion of the
original writer(s) and are not necessarily the opinion of, nor endorsed by, the owner(s)
or operator(s) of fastseduction.com. The article enhancements are generated
automatically and there may be occasions where the visual cues don't correlate exactly
with the textual context; most of the time, though, the enhancements are pretty
accurate.
