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How To Know You Reached The Edge
by Jay Valens
of The Art of the Pickup
January 28th, 2008
There seems to be a universal habit amongst guys first learning how to have conscious control over their success with the opposite sex. They go over the edge a lot and not realize it, losing the girl who one moment had high interest, and the next seemed to lose it out of thin air.
What does it mean to “go over the edge”? It means to take a particular method, tactic, attitude, or behavior and do it excessively to overkill. It could very well be something that works for the guy, gets interest from the ladies, and even helps him to appear more attractive and desirable. It works so well, in fact, that he’s not used to it and associates the new success with that one thing and starts doing it to excess.
The result is what was first productive, becomes a crutch, and then becomes a detriment to actual success.
We don’t want you to just taste the first stages of success: like meeting new women, getting phone numbers, more dates, and better interactions – we want you to go all the way and succeed in increasing your sexual opportunities, maintaining consistent levels of success, and building relationships. When going from A to Z we don’t want you to keep getting stuck on M, we want you to get to all the way to Z as often as possible.
Anyway, to avoid getting stuck on something and actually make it to “Z”, you need to know how not to step on your own toes.
Before, you may have stepped on your own toes because you had no awareness of what you were doing, or what it takes to be successful.
Now, you MAY be stepping on your own toes because you DO have an understanding of what works, from the knowledge we share with you, but over-do it. Or maybe before you subscribed to this newsletter or bought our DVDs you were exposed to some other (perhaps) useful pickup info that was highly specific and situational, and that became your crutch.
Whatever it is, what first garnered you success might now be holding you back.
The solution is to become familiar with the edge.
What is the edge?
It’s that discreet moment where something effective that you are doing is well-calibrated and perceptively normal to the woman, or perhaps even totally under the radar, and then crosses the line into becoming excessive. Your congruence is shot, your behavior starts being perceived by the woman as being “odd”, and the reactions you get go from being positive to a clear feeling of being dodged, ignored, or blown out.
You know that feeling, I don’t have to describe it to you.
Early on it’s important to know what it feels like to have this happen or you simply won’t go outside of your comfort zone enough to progress anywhere. But after some time, you really do not want to find yourself there very much, if at all. It really sucks because that’s where you WERE and you don’t want to end up where you started.
The key to avoiding the edge, to ensure you don’t cross it and harm your own progress, is to be observant of both your own calibration and the woman’s reaction to you, most importantly her reactions.
Once you get positive reactions, it’s your signal that WHAT you are doing is, indeed, working. But it’s also a huge sign that you can tone it down a bit while progressing because the woman is now hyper-sensitive to you (in a positive way) and your behavior can be more subtle. You don’t need to be over-the-top once you’ve garnered her interest because her interest on its own will exaggerate your behavior to affect her perceptions of you in a positive way.
Focus on moving things forward WITHOUT depending on any crutches that got you to a certain point in the first place. That doesn’t mean you give up the attitudes and beliefs that created the basis of your success, it just means you’re on the right track and need to focus your game on moving things forward and not dwell on aspects of your M.O. which you may have allowed to become crutches.
Jay Valens
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