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Learn Something From Leeches
by Jay Valens
of The Art of the Pickup
April 11th, 2007
There is nothing more important to whether you will get what you want or not than if you can follow through on things that you start. If you don’t, someone else will.
Let me give you an example. If you get a phone number from a girl, you must of course call her to follow-up and if that doesn’t work right away you… call her again another time. Not to say you must be obsessive (don’t cross the line into creepy or stalker) but where are you going to get if you drop the ball in the first place?
Sometimes you need to consider what the next step would be and ask yourself whether it makes sense to wait or if you can just go ahead and move things forward when they’re already in your lap.
If you have an opportunity and let it go, that is exactly equivalent to not following through, like giving up on something you had a chance at for no discernable reason other than you chose to give up. Girls notice this and will NOT forgive you for it (no matter what you see in make-believe movies!) and a girl with whom you think you had a positive interaction with will now be much harder to get into your bed!
So where do the leeches come in?
Here’s a story from the past, one I learned an important point from. One day I was going around town like normal, hanging out with my friend, talking to girls, and getting phone numbers. I was still learning the ropes but was becoming adept at meeting and getting numbers. Well, one time I was talking to this girl I ran into somewhere downtown and I got a really good vibe from her. I almost got the sense that she had nothing better to do that day than to be approached by me but I thought “Nah, I’ll just get her number and call her later to get together… we’ll hook up and it’ll be cool.”
The vibe and interaction was really good but I hesitated to do more than get a number because I presumed we couldn’t do any more at that moment. However, I do know that I put her in a good state and that she was probably a lot more open that day to meeting someone, but I left the interaction at a point where it could have gone further but I decided to let it go until later.
Later in the day, actually barely more than an hour later we were in a convenience store and I noticed the same girl being chatted up by some guy. I decided to observe from a distance and it was clear initially from their body language» that they didn’t know already know each other. But, it didn’t seem to take the guy long to get her genuinely laughing (the same as I’d done), genuinely interested (same as I’d done) and soon get her phone number (been there, done that). He probably could tell she was open to being approached that day, something I had a hand in.
Then after he got her number and continue to chat a bit, I saw him do something I didn’t – he encouraged her to continue hanging out with him RIGHT THEN AND THERE, and she did and I watched them go down the street and find somewhere to hang out and probably he might have even gotten her in bed that same day. My gut said to myself “What a leech!” because I felt I’d already opened the door but had anticipated that I opened it for myself, not some other guy. But then I thought, “What can I learn from this leech?”
I imagined if that guy dropped the ball like me, she would have gone about her day and had ANOTHER guy notice her approachable vibe and chat her up and maybe THAT guy wouldn’t drop the ball and would follow through. The point is that if there is opportunity and you don’t grab it then that opportunity is lost and very likely to be savored by someone else.
The difference in the interactions is NOT being the guy who gets her number, or even being the last guy to get her number, but being the guy she WANTS to call her and, if there is opportunity to “get further” which is not taken, then the next guy who comes along who does take action when the opportunity is presented will get the girl.
Don’t be the guy who drops the ball when the opportunity is right in front of you. Because even if some other guy does not leech, you will still be seen by her as a guy who drops the ball and you’re toast and now you can stop wondering why the interactions with some girls you thought you were doing well with might have ended up fizzling.
In understanding this, you now have a solution to a big issue you may not have even been aware of!
Next week we’ll talk about how to learn club pickups from a slug. :)
Jay Valens
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