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Setting Up Your Apartment or Home for Seduction
by Ray Devans
of The Art of the Pickup
July 28th, 2006
An often-overlooked area of seduction is what you do once you have a woman back at your place.
Somehow it’s almost assumed that everything will happen naturally once you get her through that door, but the fact is that very small details can make a great difference to your success.
We are going to look at a lot of things here that should not be taken as gospel; the order can be mixed up, the ideas varied, etc. So don’t take it too literally, but it should give you a good idea of how things can work.
OK, let’s get started. There are two areas we want to look at. Preparing your place before a woman comes over, and what to do once she is there.
Preparing your place in such a way that sex will be more likely to happen is not something that you can do in just one day.
We aren’t just talking about cleaning the place. Usually we are talking about arrangement of the furniture, what kind of furniture you have, what kind of “props” you have, lighting, food, and more.
Cleanliness – There can be exceptions but a simple rule is to have your place as clean as humanly possible.
This is a tough one for the average bachelor, but there is a connection that women will make to how clean your apartment is to whether they want to sleep with you. If your toilet bowl is dirty and your sheets smell bad, it can ruin the mood for them and make your job harder. So the simple rule is to clean your place as much as you possibly can, and then clean it some more.
Couch and Bed – A common progression for sex starts by sitting together on a couch, then moving to the bed.
If you have a large couch, consider putting something like large throw pillows on either end to make it necessary for her to sit closer to you. A loveseat for only 2 people is ideal, and can make initiating touch and kissing much more natural because of the close proximity.
If you are a poor college student, or have a small studio apartment, it might be congruent to not even have a couch and just make her sit right on your bed from the beginning!
If you can afford it, silk sheets can be found for as low as $100 on the Internet and score high points with women. Make your bed as inviting as possible!
Props – there is probably no limit to the ideas for props you can have that will make the mood right for sex. These can include candles, burning incense, aromatherapy fountains, pictures, guitars, massage wands, tasteful books of nude pictures, etc.
Anything that can draw a woman to want to look at and become curious about and want to look at or use is a prop. Just don’t put it in her face like “Look, see this thing!”, just place in somewhere she is likely to notice on her own, naturally.
Movies – have a few different types of movies that you can watch with a woman. Horror movies can be good as it can get her emotions running and she may even want to grab you or hold your hand when she gets scared.
Movies with some good sexual scenes can also be good, but the movie is less important than how close you are together when watching it. So, the best place to have your TV is in front of your bed!
Coffee Table – this is where you can place props such as magazines, books, etc.
Exercise area – if you are into exercise, having a few dumbbells or whatever else you use to exercise out in the open can be useful if the woman doesn’t know much about exercise, as you can use this as an excuse to show her. Doing this sets you up as an authority and usually makes a good reason to start physical contact as you guide her through a few exercises.
Bar Area – Even if its just a section of your kitchen counter, have a few different types of alcohol out in the open, and some glassware and mixers for making drinks.
Learn to make a few of the common drinks, and have a drink recipe book handy for any requests you might get.
As a bare minimum, always have some red wine on hand, as this is probably the most common thing a woman might want to drink, and it’s more “romantic” than beer. If you don’t drink red wine yourself, be sure to keep the wine stored with the bottle tilted so that the cork contacts the wine, otherwise air will get into the bottle and the wine will go sour!
Music – make sure you have different types of music ready to play for her.
If Jazz is what gets her in the mood, it’s good to have some Jazz ready, etc.
OK, we have gone through some of the basics of preparation for your apartment, let’s look at some things you can do once she is there.
If you walk in together, open the door for her and let her go in first, then tell her to make herself comfortable. You can even mention that you like to lock out all the troubles of the world from your house, so she can feel free to relax. This is called setting the frame.
Once she is in the door, if you have carpet in your place, you can consider having her take off her shoes and tell her that you go “Japanese style” to keep from tracking dust in your house. You might even have a few shoes on the side or a shoe rack to reinforce that this is what you do. Asking her to remove her shoes has the effect of immediately setting a precedent where she gets used to taking off an article of clothing for you. It also makes it more natural for her to later get on your bed without being able to make an objection about having her shoes on, etc.
Don’t forget to remove your own shoes, especially before or when you tell her about your “Japanese style” as not only will she more readily take your lead, you won’t look silly for not following your own rule.
From there, it’s always good to give her a brief tour around your place; this sets her mind at ease.
Humans are always on higher than normal state of alert when they enter a new environment, and women coming to your house for the first time are no different. Once she has seen the whole place, she can relax further.
Also, while showing her around, she has a chance to naturally comment on the various props you have in place.
The next step is to have her sit down, usually on your couch, while you offer her something to drink. Here it can be a good idea to ask something like “white wine or do you prefer red?” This way of asking presupposes she will drink, but if she doesn’t want any alcohol never push it on her, you can seduce her without alcohol. The fact that you don’t push her will also relax her and she will see you as different from average guys who thinks they can only score by getting girls drunk.
Notice that all throughout you have been leading the interaction little by little. Going forward this is what you have to do.
The sequence described can be pretty standard, but from here it sort of depends on what you had planned.
If you are making dinner, then having her help you in the kitchen is good and you can get some playful touching or food fights going.
Dinner itself might be with candlelight and soft music. Wine and pasta are ideal as they increase serotonin levels, i.e. they relax you and her, which makes sex more likely. This is why Italian food is considered romantic!
If you didn’t plan dinner, having something to snack on is still good, having some cool appetizers like exotic fruit, crackers and cheese, etc. is always a good idea.
In any case, after dinner or appetizers, at some point you want to be on the couch or your bed making a move. This comes with practice, but complimenting her hair and touching it, followed by leaning in to smell it, then going for a kiss starting on her neck and leading to her mouth is a very smooth way to get the first kiss.
With practice you will learn to get that first kiss consistently. In “The Art of the Pickup»” DVD, you can actually watch as this type of technique is shown and you can get the body language» for it down. You will also see how to deal with the inevitable resistance to going further that always occurs. The basic guideline is to always acknowledge what she says and agree with her, but still move forward little by little if she lets you. It’s like two steps forward, one step back, wash, rinse and repeat. This technique also illustrated in “The Art of the Pickup»” DVD.
There is more to learn but this should give you a good basis for getting physical once you get her into your apartment.
That ends this edition of the “Pickup Arts” Newsletter, the takeaway is: preparation of your living space and the experience that you will have for a woman is something you should really put some thought into in advance.
Your interior decorator and romantic planner,
Ray Devans
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