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She Is Not Better Than You
by Jay Valens
of The Art of the Pickup
July 16th, 2007
I guess no matter how many newsletters we send out, there will still be guys out there who hesitate to take action. No matter how much great advice some guys get, they will keep perceiving that the girls they are interested in are somehow better than them.
If that’s not you, just take to heart we’ll get back onto specific pickup advice and tips in the next newsletter but for today I wanted to help out those guys who hesitate due to self esteem issues.
Look, I am not the best looking guy in the world. Anyone who meets me will not see anything but an absolutely average guy with a somewhat nasal voice, pale skin, and hairline starting to recede. I grew up poor, English is not my first language, and had trouble making friends. I had to have braces when I was 17-19 (pretty bad time), was very shy, and like some people in life experienced a lot of taunting and discouragement.
It’s not easy to keep a good, solid frame of mind, but ultimately I do not think that any girl I meet, no matter who she is or what background she has, is “better” than me. If I did, I might as well not do anything at all because that’s like being at the starting line and then just turning around and walking away while the other runners take off.
If you’re in a race, better to finish last but at least cross the finish line than to turn around and give up before even running the race. It’s not easy. Nobody is expecting you to win the gold every time you run, or even once, but you can’t win a damn thing if you don’t even get into the race in the first place.
If you think it’s supposed to be easy, it’s not. Just because a few guys in this world may have it easy for one reason or another, for the rest it will still be a struggle before the results come. And for a few, it will be very, very hard. But very, very hard does not mean impossible and throughout my life I have had people tell me “that’s impossible” but I did it anyway.
When someone tells me “that’s impossible”, I just think they are nutty as a fruit loop. Nobody tells me something is impossible. If it’s something I want, I don’t focus on how I won’t get it, I focus on how I will. Part of that means I have to get into the race and RUN.
Impossible? Screw that.
And the same thing if I were to think about a girl being “better” than me. Hey, I’m realistic, maybe it’s highly improbable I will even get a chance at certain girls, but it damn well isn’t because they are “better” than me, only that for whatever reason they’re not obtainable or circumstances exist that work against me. But “better” than me? No way.
You’ve got to have the same mindset. If you don’t, it is exactly like giving up before even trying.
I want all you guys to have the best mindset I can give you. I don’t care who you are or what you’re issues are, there is always someone out there worse off than you that is still getting women. I can’t find all of them to study and report back exactly what they’re doing that you may not be but I can tell you at least one thing they are NOT doing: giving up or thinking their value is lower than the girls they pursue.
That is a fact. Prove me wrong. You’ll prove me right by doing so.
My best to you,
Jay Valens
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