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Cuing refers to the fact that many of our biological drives require an environmental
cue or signal to make us aware of them. For instance, if you are busy or distracted you
may not notice you're hungry until you smell some pizza. Sexual arousal works in a similar
way for women. Sex cues make them aware of their sexual needs.
I was talking to a woman friend of mine over lunch. She told me that she had met a
"nice guy" at this party one night but she wasn't very impressed by him or his
looks. He invited her to have a drink his apartment and since the party was boring anyway
she agreed to go.
To her surprise, his apartment was a charming place. The lights were low and not bright
like in most apartments. Classical music was playing. And there was a large fireplace
casting all kinds of soft, interesting shadows on the walls. She told me that suddenly she
began to find this otherwise unattractive man more and more enticing.
I laughed at her story because I knew she was primarily responding to the sex cues in the
apartment.
Yet most guys don't take advantage of purposely setting up sex cues. Their apartments are
boring, stark, drab, or messy - hardly what would set a woman in the right mood for some
hot sex.
Sex Cue: Colored Lighting
Good lighting can be just as effective as any mood-altering drug. With the right light,
even the dumpiest room can be a place that encourages lovemaking.
Women don't like bright lights. Instead, you want to have low, indirect, and diffuse
illumination that creates a provocative effect. Pink light bulbs are easy on the eyes and
flattering on the skin. Red, orange, and yellow lights all resemble firelight. Using an
"up" light from the floor with colored bulbs can create a dramatic effect.
Women get turned on in the presence of flickering firelight as well. Everyone looks more
sexy and heroic in the glow of firelight. This doesn't mean you need to install a
fireplace in your room. Just have some candles ready to be lit.
Sex Cue: Music
The right music can subliminally put a woman in the mood for sex. It's been shown that
slow, "heartbeat" music makes our heart rate slow, muscles relax, posture become
looser, and skin to conduct more heat. Music also helps us experience trance-like states
of altered consciousness and let go of the normal, everyday distracting thoughts in her
head.
Even if her response is not obviously apparent, she'll respond to music in subtle ways
without conscious thought. Scientific studies show that people return to the same store
more often when music that they like is playing in the background, even if they're not
fully conscious of it. Scientific studies also suggest that music listening seems to
encourage the release of endorphins that help to block out feelings of pain and stress.
So get yourself a stereo that can play CDs and place it in your bedroom. You'll want to
get a multi-disk player that can handle three discs or more. And if you can create your
own custom, MP3 file CDs on your computer, you'll want a stereo system that also plays MP3
CDs.
A budget stereo system for under $200 should get you a three-disc CD changer, a cassette
player, and halfway decent speakers. This is fine for a small bedroom and you can find one
at stores like Target, K-Mart, Circuit City, and Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, most
manufacturers have made most of the inexpensive systems very bright and flashy, so if you
want a more elegant, sophisticated look, you may end up paying more for a higher end
model.
For an enhanced playing experience, and if you have the money to spare, you might want to
get a package that includes a subwoofer and four speakers for true 5.1 Dolby Digital
surround sound playback. True surround sound creates an enveloping sound field that comes
from all directions for an almost surreal, immersing experience. Expect to pay $400 or
more for such a system. Best Buy and Sound Advice carry systems in this range.
Sex Cue: Running Water
The combination of flickering candlelight with rippling water can create a uniquely
spiritual, relaxing mood for lovemaking. Putting a candle next to rippling water also
creates all sorts of interesting light reflections. You can usually find elegant but
inexpensive fountains for as little as $20.00 in most malls.
These are just some of the more obvious sex cues you can set up in your apartment. Of
course, all of the sex cues in the world won't get you laid if you lack any seductive
skills, they can give you the extra edge you need.
Regards,
Derek Vitalio
Learn the Science of Seduction
http://www.seductionscience.com/
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