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What's New on Fast Seduction 101 - From The Archives - “Value/Compliance Momentum - in my own experience”

Classic post by IN10SE, November 9th, 2005

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Reproduced from the searchable archibve of articles on FastSeduction.com.   Acronyms used in this article can be looked up on the acronyms page.  To get involved in discussions like this, you can join the mASF discussion forum at fastseduction.com/discussion.

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*Value/Compliance Momentum – A model for escalation in my own experience*

First of all, this is an advanced post. There are several prerequisite understandings to get before you can actually grasp some of these ideas. So read on with an open mind.

Value/Compliance Momentum is the force behind an interaction which allows it to overcome resistance and escalate. It is movement in an interaction. Remember from physics that an object in motion, stays in motion. An object at rest takes so much more energy to get moving.

To really understand this and most importantly, understand how to make it work for you, you have to grasp a few fundamental concepts based on the V/C model. (credit Woodhaven, If you haven’t read about his value/compliance model for attraction then you need to do so before reading on – it is fundamental to understanding the concepts that I talk about here)

To start, value is entirely based almost entirely on perception. This perception is determined largely by the other persons compliance (Behavioral) – that is, the perception of another’s value is determined by their behavior, specifically how they comply (their receptive intent) with our intentions. (our directed intent) – And the converse, how we respond to their directed intent. And as an interaction escalates, we take turns being both active and receptive in giving and receiving the momentum of the interaction. This is how escalation occurs.

There are 3 choices at any given level of compliance.

1) Undermatch the other persons compliance (Creates Pseudo-Attraction based on the perception of higher value)
2) Match the other persons compliance/VIBING (Creates Comfort and connection)
3) Match and then escalate compliance (Receptive and then Direct Intent)

As long as the active/receptive interplay continues, the interaction escalates.

*Several key concepts in Escalation momentum*

1) Actual/Real attraction which is value based

This is value which is independent of external validation. Inner game» based value, confidence, self worth, being an interesting person… etc. The other person perceives your value, finds you intriguing, interesting, and attractive. In the compliance/value model, it is not based on what you do, but on who you are. It’s perception is not forced or controlled. It has to do with how tall/large your compliance/value scale is. Although we connect (we are attracted to and feel most comfortable) with those whose value/compliance scale closely matches our own or is slightly higher.

Notice that connection is about feeling both attracted and comfortable with another person. For example, you may be highly attracted to a celebrity, but if their perceived value was greater than yours by an extreme amount, then you wouldn’t feel comfortable with them, and thus not have a connection with them. In the same way, you could be extremely comfortable around a best girl friend that you’ve known for a long time, but not feel any attraction for her because you’ve always only known her as a friend. No connection there either.

Connection is dynamic not static. It is about movement in time. It is about both attraction and comfort. Attraction determines largely how fast compliance escalation occurs. Comfort determines largely the strength of the connection.

We are naturally attracted to people who we find interesting, intriguing, who have a perceived social status, and those who have something to offer us, as well as those to whom we feel like we have something to offer, thus making us feel good about giving to them. We feel comfortable with those who are like us, who share commonalities, who make us feel at home and good about ourselves.

2) Pseudo-attraction which is based on undermatching Value/Compliance

This is where you undermine the other person’s perceived value by giving them a lower compliance for a given level of the interaction, and thus giving them a perceived lower value, and thus a higher attraction for you. This is based on external validation, specifically seeking validation from the person with the perceived higher value.

Example 1: Let’s say you’re getting to know a new girl and there are some definite possibilities there. You’ve had dinner and even kissed. The next time you get together you tell her that you really like her. She says “thank you” or worse yet, she doesn’t say anything.

She has undermatched your compliance. You have given her the compliance of telling her that you really like her, while she has undermatched it by either staying at the previous compliance level of the interaction or by regressing down to a lower level of compliance. She has given you a lower compliance for the interaction, and has upped her perceived value and thus your attraction to her.

This brings up the idea of directed intent and receptive intent.

Directed intent is where you actively escalate an interaction by putting out your direct intent to move things forward to the next level of compliance. You seek out a higher level of compliance from the other person.

Receptive intent is where you return compliance and by doing so escalate an interaction to a higher level. You comply to the directed intent of the other person.

To illustrate, let’s say you’re with a girl that you’re attracted to. You kiss her (directed intent). She complies and kisses you back (receptive intent).

If she were to undermatch your compliance, she may turn her head and let you kiss her neck while not kissing you or letting you escalate the interaction. She may laugh and say “that feels good”. This would probably have the effect of building up the tension in you and in the interaction and in turn your attraction and desire to escalate things. Her laughing and saying that it felt good, would maintain the rapport. This is a variation of hot words/cold actions.

Then when she did show either receptive intent by allowing you to kiss her on the lips, or direct intent by actually initiating kissing you on the lips herself, the momentum would escalate all the more quickly.

If she were to match your compliance and kiss you back, while purposefully not escalating (not having receptive intent), you could both VIBE at this level and thus allow the momentum to slowly build while the comfort level deepens. This is how comfort and rapport can create escalation momentum, so that receptive intent or active intent when it occurs can escalate the interaction to the next level of compliance.

If she were to match your compliance and then take on the directed intent (escalate) of moving things forward by, let’s say by taking off her shirt, you could demonstrate receptive intent by caressing her breasts, and then escalate the momentum by taking off your shirt as well. If you were to stop kissing her at this point and “freeze her out” you would probably have mismatched her compliance too much and risk ending the interaction. If you were to caress her breasts and then take off her bra, you’d be matching her compliance and then escalating by your directed intent. She could either stop you (mismatch compliance), let you take it off (receptive intent to your direct intent), or let you take it off and then unbuckle your belt. (receptive intent, then directed intent on her part)

Escalating momentum is based on the interplay of give/take – of directed and receptive intent. All of our interactions with others are based on this directed/receptive interplay and alternating between both directing and receiving and receiving and directing intent.

We experience pleasure when our direct intent is fulfilled through the other person’s receptive intent or when the other persons direct intent matches our receptive intent.

Example 2: Let’s say you have an ex-girlfriend who you find out is hanging out with a new guy, who may have more money, status, etc than you. You may feel an attraction based on a perceived lack, because the ex-girlfriend is no longer available to you.

Vibing

When one person needs time to process the interaction (i.e. build comfort), the escalation stops at a given level of compliance, although the momentum continues to build. This is called VIBING. Two people can vibe at a certain level for an indefinite amount of time, and as they vibe the energy and momentum continues to build so that when the escalation continues through the interchange of the active/receptive interplay, it escalates all the more quickly. This is the purpose of vibing.

*How attraction and rapport play into escalation momentum*

Escalation momentum occurs in the space between two people. It is the interaction of compliance and value between two people. It is the give and take of the interaction, a result of the direct and receptive intent alternating back and forth between tow people.

1) Attraction determines how fast the escalation occurs.
2) Rapport and comfort determines how strong the connection is.

I personally cycle back and forth between attraction vibing and comfort vibing.

How to use this: Let’s say you and a girl are hanging out. You have built attraction and rapport and escalated the interaction to the point where there’s definitely chemistry and sparks are flying. She feels extremely comfortable with you. She has given you the compliance of being alone at your place with you late at night. She’s given you the compliance also of kissing you. Now if the momentum is great enough, you could go for the close right then and there, however if it isn’t, you may have to VIBE at a given level to build up the momentum more.

Also notice how high attraction achieves a faster escalation although it is less solid. More potential for last minute resistance or buyers remorse.

A slower escalation achieves the same result in more time, although there is more potential for “just friends” and stalling out if the attraction isn’t enough because of the high rapport/comfort present.

*How to increase receptiveness*

Receptive intent is based largely on three things. 1) The perception of ones own need – An example of this in you is where you’re horny and thus more receptive to the (sexually) direct intent from a suitable female. Or you could elicit an aroused state in a woman thus making her more receptive to your direct intent. It is largely based on attraction energy.
2) Being fully associated into the experience of the interaction – An example of this is where there is such a strong attraction and connection (rapport) with someone that you lose track of time, and lose yourself in the experience, becoming fully immersed. This is where your logical mind stops and your actions are based on reflex, and where you can fully feel and experience. Here there is no logic putting stop to escalation. There is only being fully immersed in the experience. In this atmosphere, escalation occurs easily and naturally.
3) Habit – An example of this is where you trigger automatic responses. Like when a girl is used to things going down a certain way whenever she’s experienced escalation in an interaction. It is what both you and the other person are used to based on what you’ve experienced before. It has to do with comfort energy.

In the same way, the opposites of these can cause resistance to escalation.
1) Not feeling a need
2) Not being fully associated into the experience – The logical mind overrides the feeling/emotional and physical mind (i.e. read up on the Triune Brain theory)
3) Habit – This works the other way as well. If someone has a block to escalation at a given point and it is reinforced time after time, it will become stronger.

Anyway, these are just a few insights that I've had and will hopefully deepen your understanding of how this stuff works. - at the very least stir up some discussion.

Comments?

IN10SE
http://www.social-mastery.com

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