Lifeguard is a member of the mASF forum. Acronyms used in this article can be looked up on the acronyms page. To get involved in discussions like this, you can join the mASF discussion forum at fastseduction.com/discussion.
Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/masf/23/350858/
I have wrote before in this forum on “how”, “what” and “when” to BUILD A
CONNECTION. Today I am going to go a little bit deeper into WHY men are able to
make this connection, and knowing "why" will help you better with the “how” and
the “when” to build a connection.
First, I want to review that it is imperative to have the woman attracted before
looking to build a connection. However, if you are just looking to develop
rapport with other people—guys, co-workers, family, etc., it is not necessary to
have attraction (obviously..)
So after the woman is attracted and you are VIBING, you are looking for ways to
connect. You lead the conversation in topics where there may be some
commonalities. Let’s say, you talk about traveling to Italy so you can find the
home of your grandfather and see the culture, how he grew up and understand more
about your background, etc. If this topic is able to make her FEEL POSITIVE
EMOTION about this experience, she will want to talk about it and share her
FEELINGS about it. She will then IDENTIFY with you and start to feel a
connection. However, if this same woman heard this story from a dozen other guys
in the last month, she may be amused or disgusted. This did not spark positive
emotion and no connection will be made.
Think about it like starting a fire: you make the spark and then see if it
catches fire.
A good example that may ring true with a lot of guys is when you are watching a
movie. Let’s say you are watching “Gladiator”. If you identify with Russell
Crowe’s character and watch him go through pain and then triumph, it will spark
positive emotion in you and you will LIKE or LOVE the movie, depending on what
varying degree it affected you. However, another guy can watch “Gladiator”, keep
thinking in his mind that Russell Crowe is just some sissy actor, and doesn’t
buy into the character or plot at all. This may not spark any emotion, except
boredom, humor, or disgust. No “connection” will be made with this character or
movie.
You see, when someone identifies and feels positive emotions about these
stories, movies, etc, they will feel better about themselves (self-esteem), and
thereby feel a connection with you because you are the man who is able to make
them feel this way.
Another key to sparking the positive emotions will be the CONGRUENCE in which
the story relates to her IMPRESSION of you as a man. Example: a well- to-do
businessman may have attracted a woman for a variety of reasons but when talking
about his love of gangsta rap and driving his car with spinning rims, she
realizing that this is not congruent with his personality and will not build a
connection with her. However, she may have connected with another guy on the
same topic if he was congruent to that image.
Finally, vibing is important as well when trying to build a connection. Let’s
take the initial example of the man talking about visiting Italy. If he tries to
connect with her while she just got done talking about how much fun she had in
college with her sorority sisters playing drinking games, this topic may fall
flat because the man did not calibrate while vibing, and brought it up at the
wrong time.
To summarize: to build a connection, you must find interesting topics that she
can identify with and spark positive emotions. If you do this at the right time
and with enough emotion yourself, you will succeed in making both of you feel
good which is what everybody wants in life.
Proud of you.......
~Lifeguard~
