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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=84244&fid=8
In my post, "Massive Fight 2000" in Off-topic, I described how me and a pal kicked 6 guys' heads in this weekend without even getting hurt.
Now they started it, and I feel fully justified in what we did, but I didn't even realize it was possible to take on 3 guys and not even get hit. I am literally in awe of myself and the way we handled it. It came down to intent, passion, and the right to defend myself. Also known as self-respect.
This has done more for my self-esteem than any amount of approaching over the last 10 months. I'm not scared of anyone any more.
It has changed my behaviour to the extent where people are holding doors open for me even though I'm walking 12 miles behind them, and women are joking around with me for no reason.
In fact, looking back over the last 10 months since I really started getting into the game, the times I've grown have all shared a similar thread:
CONFLICT.
But more specifically:
CONFLICT WHERE I STOOD UP FOR MYSELF.
Every time you take a stand for yourself, no matter how much fear you have at the time, if you go through with it, however much fear you had is converted to an equal amount of courage (credit: Dr Paul from David DeAngelo's "Deep Inner Game»" set).
Being a man is so much more than just trying to get girls.
Being a man is about showing yourself you are a person worth standing up for. And every time you do it, you earn a little more self-respect.
Guys, this is so important for your self-esteem and overall happiness, and the way you approach the world, if you are weak and don't have this handled, you need to take this on board.
Conflicts that have shaped me over the last 10 months:
-Being called out as an "Arsehole" by my two main female coworkers. I had apparently overstepped the line with some of my jokes with them, so they ganged up and told me what they really thought of me (something they would not have done alone: note females draw strength from their environment, and simply LOVE sharing the moral highground with other people, and feeling justified in letting loose a lot of anger at you).
Anyway this came to me as a TOTAL SHOCK and I was aghast and had to leave the office. I was sweating, and my throat was dry - I couldn't even talk. Then I slapped myself in the face in the toilet, coughed 100 times to clear my throat, and went back in there and DEMANDED an apology. They didn't give me one. But I stayed and worked, and felt the tension, and everything I'd caused, and saw how uncomfortable it made them, and knowing I'd caused that made me realize I am more powerful than both of them put together because I COULD TAKE IT AND THEY COULDN'T. So I sat there for the next hour till the day was finished, in complete silence, with a smile on my face, and said to them "Byyyyye!" all cheerful at the end.
I got my apology from each of them via email when they were both alone. HA!
They have since been very submissive and girly around me. GOOD.
Of course I have also learned something about overstepping the mark too, and what is and isn't acceptable at work.
-Telling my brother he should treat me better, after 5 years of not getting along AT ALL. He dropped an absolute BOMB on me after that, telling me all the ways I fuck things up socially - and for the most part he was RIGHT ON THE MONEY! That really involved putting my ego to one side for a day, and really taking in what he said. That took a lot of balls from me to confront him, and a lot of balls from him to put across what he meant without it coming to blows. That is what led to my "Human Social Strategy" post a couple of weeks ago, and totally turned my life around.
-Being called a "cock" by the twat barman in my favourite pub, knowing I couldn't fight him or else be barred, but going back in there 2 days later and greeting him with "Hey buddy, how ya doing?" and a smile, seeing the tension there, holding my ground till he met me with friendship, then leaving and seeing him flustered having been put in that position and now realizing he had been in the wrong. Takes balls to go back in there and be the man after being embarrassed in front of everyone like that.
Anyway, I am absolutely advising anyone who is weak in the area of SELF-RESPECT to go out there and stick up for yourself - even if that means getting into fights. In fact, certainly if it means getting into fights.
Being a man means fighting everyday for what you believe in. Not being a doormat. Not retreating from conflict. And most importantly being able to hold the tension in a situation even when it's tearing at your very core.
I got more from one fight than I did from 10 months of approaching women.
