JohnnyC69 is a member of the mASF forum. Acronyms used in this article can be looked up on the acronyms page. To get involved in discussions like this, you can join the mASF discussion forum at fastseduction.com/discussion.
Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=90802&fid=146&FirstTopic=30&LastTopic=59
That’s not to say that you shouldn’t go out and try to apply stuff to actually FIND OUT the difference, but if you could distill the vast majority of what you’re here to actually learn, it would come down to having the proper frame.
It is the absolute lowest common denominator in every aspect of pickup, whether you are a newb learning to try out openers, make stronger eye contact, stand taller, etc, a fledgling pickup artist, running around getting consistent contact closes, club makeouts with random girls, etc., a full-on pimp, pulling a new girl three nights a week, or an older guy like me, learning how to build and successfully maintain HAPPY long term relationships with women.
See, cause whatever level of the game you’re at, you absolutely MUST have the right frame, the right mindset. 60 has some of the most simple, effective and applicable advice on this subject I’ve ever seen in the history of mASF. When you finish this post, go read his archive. Thank me later.
First thing I want to take a look at here is the frame you need to adopt as a beginner. A common mistake I’ve seen over the years is that guys come here thinking they’re going to learn a few lines or routines, put on some funky clothes and become this pickup wizard, running around in the night, casting spells on every woman that crosses their path.
This, in itself isn’t a bad goal to have (I mean look at Cosy and Sleazy»), but you need to understand that you don’t just get to that level without first mastering the BASICS. Speaking of Cosy, he has a GREAT thread just a few posts down about something very similar.
I came up with a few basics of my own that I thought might help some of you guys to begin building the frame that will one day be a new you. These are just a few of the simple things I’ve picked up and adopted along the way that I wish someone would have told me when I started.
-Learn to embrace failure.
That means you laugh at the blowouts, the miscalibrations, the stupid mistakes that we ALL have made. It’s the only way to get better…and when you’re sitting around telling the stories later, you really DO see how fun and amusing they are.
-Don’t take it personal
See Formhandle’s post in Masterminds, called “Fuck your ego.” He explains it pretty well right there. As for my own two cents, just keep in mind that rejections, cockblocks, crash and burns, etc. can happen for a good many more reasons than bad body language», miscalibration, etc. Especially in this time of economic trouble, you just never know if a girl is having a bad day. Maybe her dad got laid off. Maybe her dog died. By all means, go out with the full intention of brightening up someone’s day, but if you run into a chick that isn’t having it no matter what you try, just remember that you’re not the only factor in the equation.
SIDEBAR:
-It’s none of your business what anyone else thinks of you.
From the moment you lay eyes on a woman, to opening your mouth to get her opinion (or however you decide to open) to the day2, to the makeout, to the isolation, to the close…you’re not doing it for HER (cr: 60), you’re doing this because being with a woman you desire makes YOU happy. Everything else is just filler. Your sexual potency, your DESIRE is a gift from the gods to YOU. It is YOURS to share with whomever you see fit.
-Pickup is FUN
This one relates to the first one. Embracing failure, enjoying the blowouts. Some of the best nights in the field I’ve ever had were when I told my wing I was actually going to TRY to get blown out, just for fun. Counterintuitive as it is, I met my last serious girlfriend last time I said those words and went out with that attitude. She was fun...go figure.
Now, I don’t want to give you guys too much to wrap your heads around. The idea here is to give you some of the basics for having the right frame to start out with. It’s not much by itself, so what I’d like you to do is read around the boards a little bit, some of the posts from some of the guys you really look up to. If you’re REALLY new and aren’t sure where to start on that one, TheCostofSuccess, Sleazy», Maj, TVA_Oslo», Tubarao, JosephWentSouth, Franco, RagstoRich» and LiketheWind are some good ones. Read some of the posts by these guys and try and notice how they apply these mindsets.
Keep in mind though that all the reading in the world won’t do you a damn bit of good if you don’t get out in the field and start applying it. Come back here and write up a field report to get some feedback. We especially love fuck-up reports. Don’t worry, we won’t laugh at you. Too much You a little nervous? Outstanding. That’s a good indication you’re alive. Have fun and see ya in Field Reports...
A frame is nothing more than a mental reference point. It’s a belief. Now, on this site, there is a TON of information. Some of it is good, some of it downright BAD, and some of it just will not suit your personality, regardless.
Now, I’m going to assume that if you’re reading this post, then you’ve done all of your required reading, i.e: the player guide, the FAQ and posting guidelines, right? That means I don’t have to go into any long-winded explanations about proper body language», voice tonality, eye contact and the like, right? It’s a good thing you did, because if you didn’t read those and learn at least a basic understanding of those principles, then definitely take the blowouts personally. Now go stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself how much you suck. Did that? Good. Now go RTFM before reading any further. END SIDEBAR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn95H30m0D8
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