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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=94714&fid=173
There can be a lot of confusion within social communication, and between the communication of the sexes.
The first thing I'd like to point out is..
So an explaination for the occasional misconception might be.
So all this might have you asking..
The common understanding of what women fall for, should be..
Cuz this I have seen to be true, THOUSANDS of times, if not more..
(ah, that just feels SOOO RIGHT, doesn't it.. well it should, cuz its true)
Most relationships end either with communication difficulties, lack of chemistry, being lured somewhere else, or the person having oneitis that isn't reciprocated.
Its incredibly common to see someone get oneitis, only to be dumped soon after. And its very common to see, women fall for normal guys that don't think “this is the one”.
So all the illusions and other stuff aside, women just have sex with mostly average and normal men. You, me, others..
What is usually going on behind a relationship is generally much less spectacular than it appears . Asshole might just be some random dude etc, hell he might EVEN have oneitis for her..
But the typical pattern of who women go out with, is a guy without oneitis for her.
So the myth should be changed to "guys who don't focus on her being the one".
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The bad guy fantasy:
If you wanna captitalise on this particular fantasy its important to realise, that there are very few actual bad guys, if any.. And that most of the time its just a guy similar to you on the other side of the fence.
So don't necessarily try to BE a COOL person, or a STUCK UP person, or whatever.
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Some Reasons why sexy can seem a bit more assholish:
Sexy can sometimes looks like stuckup or "he doesn't like me" for a few reasons.
And lastly, something I will call false correlation, explained below:
Getting good at anything, requires that things become simpler and simpler and simpler, so that your understanding improves..
For example.. You can after simplifying and understanding seduction for yourself, choose to see that its being honest that gets the girl, you can correlate it with being sexy, you can correlate it with singing songs, you can correlate it with how you dance, etc etc etc..
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So who do women go out with the most, and desire the most?
Generally, its average, normal guys, that have some sense of being proactive, and that DON'T have oneitis for the girl.
And thats typically, actually where the line is drawn for real.
Truth is, be seductive, be sexy, don't have oneitis.. Perhaps fufill her fantasies (not requisite).. Etc etc etc, is actually more the true picture.
Why Girls Don't Like Assholes:
For some reason, people think that it is common knowledge that girls like assholes, so I'm here to clear the slate for most begginers and intermediate guys.
Infact, as to the common myth of “girls like assholes” I'm not even aware of any one case of someone in PARTICULAR specifically saying it, or spelling it out specifically, usually its a girl resigning to despair and saying “why do I always fall for these jerks”. And if its not resigning to despair, then its usually just a fetish or a fantasy involving past memories in their life, such as, “how cool would it be to get the ones that always get away”.
However, such fantasies are just that, FANTASIES, and actually don't have any basis in reality, as “the ones that got away” really isn't a group of different PEOPLE, its just a random selection from them, and specific qualities assosciated to that fantasy.
In my experience, the only true thing that girls like is sexy, and whether sometimes that means delving into something actually more based in fantasy than truth, then thats up to them.
Where are all these assholes coming from?
Its obvious to me, that there just aren't that many assholes out there. Though there is asshole like behavior, and often times, things we PERCIEVE as assholish cuz we don't feel so good about it, or because we aren't in a particularly clear mood.
Girls for the most part actually go out with just guys..
It is for the most part an optical illusion to see it any other way, and 90% of the time when someone says, he's an asshole, its THAT PERSONS problem, and likely not even related to the dude copping the label.
a) Guys are sometimes okay with this labeling another man an asshole because when intimidated by a situation they might be prone to more rash decisions and perceptions.. Soooo when you don't feel so good, you are more prone to labelling others and percieving the situation as more alien, because you don't feel so good about it.
b) Girls are sometimes okay with saying "why do I only go after badasses" because girls are sometimes silly.. They call anyone a badass at the drop of a hat..
Oh he just led me on, what an asshole.. damn it why do I like him (maybe because he flirted with you )
c) Its a common fantasy to want the “ones that gets away” or “the ones that have always intimidated them”.. so its very easy to get confused that such a fantasy is actually coming from a “real” place.
So where are these assholes coming from?
Infact, going out as much as I do, you don't really see guys being assholes picking up quality women. Its a total myth.
What I find to be MORE true, is that women for the most part sleep with guys that have no intention of being an asshole... Or they sleep with someone they know.. which can look pretty intimidating if you are looking at it from the outside..
What should the myth be?
What do girls typically fall for?
Well luckily we have some great clues, and understand this pretty well.
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Men without oneitis for them.
There is a CLEAR indication, and pattern in behavior regarding oneitis, and it could be said to be very true that women fall for guys that don't believe “this is the one”.
So they might cheat, they might say things like “whatever” and go do something else, break up with her, and go for another woman etc etc etc..
But thats as far as it really goes, into the whole asshole thing, without it actually being a physical abuse issue or some other unhealthy behavior related more to depression and victom cycles than anything else.
But typically, there are some that have oneitis, and some that don't. And its generally this that ACTUALLY separates the two. Not an actual definition in "person type" or "character"..
Infact I find it rare, that someones character is so particularly universally accepted.
Whatever.
a) Cuz oneitis is kinda alarming
b) Guys without oneitis for her are actually MUCH MORE COMMON
So its important to understand that if you are trying out being a little bit darker, you are playing to a fantasy, more than an actually distinct, different TYPE of person.
Or expect there to be a million nuances to it.
Understand that you are playing to a fantasy, not a crisis of identity. Or some massive overhaul.
Just play to that fantasy by being a stranger, and maybe play with different sorts of things that get the woman off in the same vien.
Like not talking for hours on end before something happens etc.
Since girls when turned on by you, don't exactly fantasize that you'd sit down and scetch out a contract, permission waivers etc etc..
1) Unreciprocated Oneitis
2) People generally get with those without oneitis
3) Fantasies for strangers, fantasies for certain behaviors etc
4) Labelling
5) False correlation
Because of this process of distillation, its actually quite easy to apply such a simple view, and correlate it to anything you choose..
You can basically attach it to whatever you want.. And if you please, you could possibly correlate it to other things.
So thats a way, that someone thats actually gotten better could ACTUALLY give you such SHITTY advice.. Just incase anyone ever does tell you from a posistion of authority that asshole is the way to go (raises eyebrow).
Though I've never seen anyone do so specifically.
So generally what you are seeing is either a relationship with a dude thats “totally poisoned by oneitis” or a dude that “doesn't have oneitis”.
So you can see, that the myth, is actually just a distortion of whats really the trend. And how the different dynamics of people, might lend towards the myth that “girls like bad guys”.
