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What's New on Fast Seduction 101 - mASF Post - “Conversation Simplified”

Recent post by vautrin, October 7, 2009

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Vautrin is a member of the mASF forum.   Acronyms used in this article can be looked up on the acronyms page.  To get involved in discussions like this, you can join the mASF discussion forum at fastseduction.com/discussion.

Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=97925&fid=16


[This post is a modification of a reply i wrote about a week ago]

I hope this post will cover the topic of conversation, how to never run out of topics, and how to always fall on your feet and transition from anything to sex talk.

If you have your own way of doing a conversation that works better for you, use your own of course.

If you don’t have your way to converse [usefully], then give it a shot without dismissing it beforehand. Try it, then sharpen it and make it fit to you until you’ll come with something even better. Post it here so everyone could do the same.

This being said .

* About the types of girls :

-Talkative/not talkative by Nature = No matter what you do, they are like this. It has nothing to do with you, so deal with it like you know. Observe at witch they react. Use it.
They are a good training for saying things without talking.

-Talkative/not talkative by Circumstances= It’s the category we are interested in here. Those whom you can ‘bring’ in an agreeable conversations that will go somewhere you want. Here, it’s depending a good share on your conversational skills.


* About the Silence and the mindset of a conversation :

You will not talk because silence is uncomfortable to you, no matter how ‘cool’ you will try to be, no matter how ‘alpha’ you will want to ‘appear’, talking because you can’t stand silence says one thing, and one fatal thing « I think you are better than me, so i try to keep the conversation to make you stay… please ».


So, number ONE : Silence is good. Silence is great. Enjoy it. You enjoy it.

It’s not an ‘interruption’ of the conversation, IT IS a PART of the conversation. An important and necessary one.


As I say, sometimes silence tells it all, it adds some ‘eloquence’ to things. It allows the other persons to process what you’re saying. It makes your thoughts and opinions more powerful.

Because you’re just directing the wheels of their heads, and they do the rest. This is the real mind fucking.

Maintaining the girl interested: Eye contact and mannerisms are a must especially when there is a silence.
A look in a moment of silence can tell so much great things, why ? Because she interprets it the way she would love. Until you open your mouth, and she goes « Oh, i thought you were…. Oh God !! » And she covers her face because she was thinking naughty about you.

This is another thing i’ll talk about later, about making it HER fantasy.


- There is boring silence And great silence. Movies to see the difference ?

Blood Diamond, see the interaction between Di Caprio and Connelly. Not so much talking, but there was a really nice thing going on.


Watch “The Thomas Crown Affair” with Steve McQueen. The guy doesn’t almost talk at all. But looks can say so much. These writers knew what they were talking about. The actors knew how to deliver back then.

These are just a couple examples to put some images on words.

Once you feel at ease with silence [ie : Making it « Make me stay and not please stay and i will do the talk »]. One your 100% comfortable with silence, it will become a matter of distributing candies : Talking, then shutting up. Give her a “waw” conversation. Then, let her rest, because it’s intense.

Not talk, talk. You have silence down.


* About Observation and Not finding Topics .

It will become so evident, that you’ll say “Whoa! There’s so much to talk about !!”. And you’ll be able to talk non stop. But again, what makes you different, is that you ARE able to talk non stop, but don’t do it.

Not doing something you’re able to do is often the best demonstration of power.

Often, an original isn’t coming up with a new thing, it is seeing things differently, making things imbricate in a way that will make the others say with a smile« It’s SO obvious , how come i had never seen it ?».

This goes from human interactions to mathematics and physics.

So, if you are struggling to find ‘topics’, let’s have a talk about that, and be patient:

How many letters there are in the alphabet ? Finite number. How many words in the dictionnary? Finite number.

But how many books have been written, how many poems, how many conversations over the world, how many articles have been released, how many WILL be ? With 26 letters, you can write English, you can write French.

With some letters, the maths are taught. A Japanese could write x+y=2*x => x=y and be understood by me or an American, or anyone who has the right amount of knowledge. Even we speak different languages.


If you like to think of it like there are finite numbers of ‘units’, but infinite combinations because you may see relations between them, talk about the ‘units’ and the relations themselves It’s seeing things differently.

A lot of talk, you want an Example ?

Take a TOWEL. I may be talking about washing my hands, and having a towel.

It is ONE ‘banal’ object BUT:

-You could talk about its quality, synthetic fibers/Cotton fibers. Tell something that happened to you, allergy ? Your knew it was synthetic because your hands started sweating.

Why you like cotton, why you don’t like it, this goes to clothes,to silk, to lingerie, to girls you’ve been with and preferences, to bras, to cups, to armatures, to Howard Hughes and what he did to prevent his actresses from driving fast because he was careful about their boobs, he invented armatures, about him being a ladies man, about Apollo, about the movie with Di Caprio, about movies you like, about interactions in movies, about a guy you know who is in the business, about this and that … A TOWEL .

-You could talk about it and you wondering where it was made. That you’ve seen that it was made in China or India or whatever, or the smell of this towel that reminded you this and that, and how come a fleeting odour could remind you this and that « Madeleine de Proust ».

How is it interesting things that were made in the other part of the world found their way in your bathroom, and start talking about it, cotton ? Workers in these countries. Have you ever been there ? What would it be if we trace every product, and we go where our coffee was imported from, go to where the sugar came from, know people from there, know the man that packaged the cakes, the one who pressed the button so your orange juice was packed, oranges, countries with good oranges, how you don’t like the eating itself but the process of peeling it and sharing it, sharing? Cotton crop ? It’s like Opium crop. Drugs, feelings, sensations, dopamine, things you love, brain chemistry, love and feeling loved. Experiences, tourism, where have you been, stuff that happened while you were traveling, people you knew there, situations, food, girls, relations, things different there [Americans count 1-Idex, 2 major, 3ring finger,4 pinky, 5 thumb . We Algerians count 1-Thumb, 2 index. 3 major, 4 ring finger, 5 pinky, See,
I noticed that]… About differences in languages and so and so…… A TOWEL .

Same object, different topics. Why ? Because you talk about things and you talk about the relations themselves.

Think of it like that : It’s something you build.

Like I was with a girl that talked about compliments then I put her hand in my dick. THIS is something that happened, I use it and tell another girl, THEN use the interaction ITSELF with that OTHER girl with ANOTHER girl.

With Girl1 the thing happened. With Girl2 : « you know, I was with girl1 and this and that ». With Girl 3: « you know, I was with girl 2 and she talked about something ,and I found that funny because with girl 1 this and that » , and you can have fun leaving it OPEN or closed … What happened with girl 2???

Key point : You must take it somewhere, or it will take you nowhere.


It’s all about linking and finding relations, being flexible. It is a chain reaction.

Want an exercise ?

Okay, I used to do this as a child, but it’s a good way to learn how to be ‘flexible’ :

Pick two actors, say Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Cruise. Find a relation between them.

Well, DiCaprio was in Blood Diamond with Jennifer Connelly, witch was with Jared Leto in Requiem For a Dream, Who was with Nicolas Cage in Lord of War.

Nicolas Cage was with Angelina Jolie in Gone in 60 seconds. Angelina Jolie was with Brad Pitt in Mr&Mrs Smith. Brad Pitt was with Tom Cruise in Interview with a vampire.

Now another way. Brad pitt was with Ed Norton in Fight Club. Norton was with De Niro in The Score. De Niro was with Jean Reno in Ronin. Jean Reno was with Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 1.

Do it and do it again until you’re flexible. .

Now, you’re wondering : How the fuck is that going to help me get laid ?

Well, it won’t !! Nah I’m kidding.

1/ It will improve your conversation skills as you’ll be able to talk IF you want to. Find relations and so.
2/ Some guys don’t know ‘how to transition’ , like into sex talk. They try to find a ‘context’.

* About transition to sex talk :

You know what’s the relation between sex talk and construction yards ? None. But You talk about construction and construction materials, bricks, crockery, tiled floor, then talk about marble. Stop and tell something like “Women are furnaces with a top of marble” [Honoré de Balzac] Take It to emotions and desires, to lust and sex.

From construction dust to women’s lust in a heart beat. Talking about love is making love as the writer mentionned said once.


You’re talking about varnishing doors, talk about different woods, ebony, beech, pine, then you talk about pine trees, the forest you go having pine trees, the amazing odours of it, and this is why you like going there with your girls, and enjoy fucking there. Guess what she will be thinking about when you go there ?

You can transition from everything . Electronics ? Electricity and nervous flux, brain, dopamine and neurotransmitters, sex.

Engines and mechanics ? rubbing and heat, lubrification… you catch my drift.


Whatever you want. It’s like you’re having a conversation, and you’re pulling the strings like the GodFather. You can take it wherever you want. Whenever you feel like.

« YEAH, but I haven’t a lot of topics to transition from !! »

How do you transition from casual talk to sex talk ? Well, usually, you’re talking about generalities, and you start to tighten the frame and area of the subjects zooming in until you hit sex.

Well, something instead of going from the question to the answer, go from the answer to find the Right questions.


Something i use often, is visualising the final result and gowing BACKWARD to see the necessary steps to do it. Yeap, just like « Le petit poucet » Following the pieces of bread to find his way back home.

Instead of thinking of something specific to trasition from to sex talk, go in your head from sex talk to the things that will be later triggers for sex talk by doing a « zoom off »… Unclear ? Okay, let’s give examples here.

Okay, when you are having sex , what do you see ? touch ? smell ?

* Her hair ? Soft ? Coulour ? Smell of hair ? Brilliance ? Right ! …. From THIS you’ll find topics that will be triggers in the future :

So, let's say you're talking with a girl, and you touch her hair, you smell it and you go "Are you using [sent, shampoo, after shampoo]"

Or you smile because it's the same perfume another girl you are with is using and how it turns you on because you like to smell her hair when you take her from behind, and these small things add a lot in a woman’s beauty AND if you want to add a subtle thing : Talk about how MANY women neglect to do THESE simple things… Watch the girl you’re talking to, and how she will say things like « Yeah, i do these things, i use this » She’s telling to you « I DO THESE THINGS STUFF TAKE ME».

Other examples of the zoom off.

*A scar or a mark in the ass of a girl you’ve been with, you see a mark on the neck of the girl you’re Talking with, and you talk about marks on bodies, about a mark in the ass of one of your girls that looked like a car and she didn’t even know it existed[i’ve seen that], and how you love to discover every inch of a woman’s body.

* Boobs[specific] ? Cups[less specific than boobs], Size, natural, plastic surgery[less specific than cups and boobs], celebrities[less specific than plastic surgery, cups or boobs, seems that it has nothing to do with sex at all] , people [You would never say that you’ll be talking about sex in few minutes]..

You talk about people in general, celebrities, you go to plastic surgery topic, you go to women who have a natural breasts, you talk about sizes, you talk about the shape you like, boobs, you take it from there.


*Navel and pubis[specific] ? Piercings[less specific than pubis], earrings[far from sex], jewelry[you’re just someone with conversation], handicraft[ you have a taste for things made with passion, two persons just having a chit chat] .

You see an original object, talk about handicraft, jewelry, then about earrings, then about piercings, if she has piercings, and if she hasn't "Were would she have one ?"..

*Pussy[specific] ? Styled pubic hair[a litte less specific], pubic hair[less specific than designed pubic hair], brazilian wax[you’re a guy who wants his girls to have the best], pubic epilation[less], epilation, hair, hygiene[you are clean most of the time], cleaning, bad smell, crowded places[ What does this have to do with sex ? ].

You talk about crowded places, then bad smells in theses places, then cleaning, hygiene, about how you do to shave, then ask her, you talk about epilation and check her legs, you talk about epilation and how often she goes to the 'esthetician', take it to bikinis, pubic epilation, styled pubic hair [ask her if hers is styled], and you're talking about pussies and dicks...


* Sex[specific] ? Bed, sheets, comfortable bed[ you’re just a guy who likes good things], nice wood one[ you have good taste, nothing to do with sex specifically] , mobilier, menuisery, furnitures[two persons having a ‘seemingly’ random conversation about a topic far and FAR away from sex]...

You take it backwards.[from the furnitures to sex]

In general: It's like going in a maze BACKWARDS.

Instead of going from the leaves to the tree trunk, you go from the trunk to the leaves. You know IT MUST BE A RELATION between a trunk and a green leaf, otherwise it wouldn’t be alive.

It is so subtle, so natural, you don't blame the river for going to the sea !


*Or, if you are the Direct kind, even if not, it’s fun.

You can talk about yourself with a straight face and talk about sex something you like, then ask her in a straight face "How deep do you like it ?". And let her go through her "Oh !!" reaction.

Different possibilities here ..


It is a chain reaction. This can go for ever. You can talk non stop “IF” you want to.

** I guess the topics of silence, finding topics to talk about and knowing how to transition to sex talk have been covered.


NOW, there is ‘being able to talk’, there is ‘conversation’, and there is ‘great conversation, you are a waw !!” “ Fuckkkkk !! You are incredible ! You’re unique !”.

You know the best part ? It hasn’t to be SPECTACULAR things you’re talking about. But you can give a great intense conversation, and let her smoke her ‘after sex’ cigarette.

Again : Do it from times to times. Intense, not intense. Give it like candies. We like sweet things, but too much sugar can never be good.


* Being able to talk about normal flat things, and making them appear interesting :

What you’re talking about is silly when someone else talks about it, but when YOU do, it’s fucking captivating. You have a magic touch.

* You’re captivating differently than the others :

You don’t have to jump on the couch.They put so much energy, they become Jim Carreys. Again, silences, pauses, looks, smiles, sometimes it’s not doing anything. Sometimes it’s letting the subject go, sometimes it’s opening another one letting the first opened.


Again, it’s up to you. Talking, not talking. Personally, I don’t talk so much. But too bad it’s not about me here.Damn !

Witch is if you get my point : People like to talk about themselves and the ones they have emotions towards… pity,joy,shame,sadness,disgust,abuse,anger and on and on.

People don’t talk about things/people they don’t give a damn about.

She will talk about her super friend being cool and how much she loves her. She will talk about that bitch who stole her ‘friend’. She will talk about that nerdy guy she finds disgusting. But she will almost never talk about that ‘fantom’ guy no one knows. You know, the kind of guys that if he dies, no body even notices.

Emotions are good tools. So, whenever she’s talking, forget the ‘facts’ she’s saying, This can be subtle and not detected often. Example :

I was with a girl that told me that she needs to ‘be loved’ That tells me nothing and doesn’t help me. Because ‘being loved’ suggests a fact “Waking up in the morning being loved” What is this ? So, I asked her what makes her “feel loved” And this is it. This is the whole difference, and often, persons won’t notice, this is why it’s so effective.

When you could choose what road a conversation has to take, take the feelings and emotions one.

You know the difference between us:

- We share facts and stories, gross jokes, sometimes deep things, but most of the time, if someone gets cut, ‘stop whining, it’s only blood’.

-They share feelings and emotions with everything: if one of them has lost a fingernail, or a lipstick, they tell an amazing story about the life of the fucking lipstick, and life being a bitch because they loved the colour and it’s a so rare coulour/flavour/brand.

Even the most blind person knows that. Everybody knows that. Witch is the very reason you have to be careful about it: If everybody knows that girls/women talk with emotions, a lot of guys talk with TOO MUCH emotion because they’ve heard OprAh/TyrA/WhateverA say “Talk with emotion”

Another important skill : Knowing the ‘dose’ of emotions. Not talking too ‘flowers and happiness’, nor describing sunsets and stars and stupid things in the movies. Ne quid nemis.


* ABOUT BORING TOPICS :

You know that Oil came from wastes and dead bodies.

Means, yes there are certain boring topics, but, as the skilled guy you are, you have the magic touch of transforming the dead bodies into Oil. And knowing what to drop.


Examples : You could say that “Where are you from ?” Is boring.

You asked her that. She tells something, you go like “Oh ! Wasn’t there a psychiatric clinic there ?” whatever she says “Well, it’s been closed because a female psychopath has escaped from there, she was [describe the girl you’re talking to as you get more and more worried, like you start to think she IS the psychopath one, she’ll get the joke] Eventually, opens several topics, what was in this place, bring her to her childhood and test the water [maybe she wasn’t treated well]… See, things like that pop out of your mind just like that. This and a million other things.

A girl asked me where I lived, I told her to tell me where she lived first, because I’m too chicken and afraid to tell her[ Note : Conversation is a great occasion to do these things :I do that to point ridiculous behaviours some girls have, to use that after, so she could do things she wouldn’t have done, by fear of being ridiculed by me.

In other words : Do what you don’t want them to do, making it seem Ridiculous early in the conversation. Then because you are great, they’ll fear doing things they think you would find ridiculous]

Okay, so I asked her this, and the she goes “Yeah I live their, and we have cows waiting for the bus, and yeah it’s not a beautiful place and you’re the thousandth person who say this” She goes in a fucking reaction, because actually, it’s true that the place where she’s living sucks.

What I did ? “Well, I wasn’t going to say that at all !!! I think you’re living in a really beautiful spot, you have even a beautiful beach there”

Now THIS is fucking funny, because they are FAR and FAR away from the beach and I know that. That drived her crazy . Then pull her in with a hug, a smile, whatever you feel like.

See. From the ‘boring’ to the “Ahhhghhhhdgdggd I’m gonna bite you” reaction.

Where she lives ? I’ve been with a girl, and I didn’ ask her where she lived in the beginning. Then, she invited me to come to her house, I took the car, i knew the ‘upscale residence’. But didn’t know the exact location. She guided me on the speaker to a house and you fucking will never guess : I’ve been in her house before.

I’ve been selling cosmetics door to door years ago. I went to THAT house, I liked that house, it had a large swimming pool and a nice lawn, but I talked to her mother that time !

Who would’ve ever thought that years after that, he was going to meet this person. It’s weird.

Unbelievable huh ? Sometimes funny things happen.

From the ‘boring’ to “isn’t life funny ?”


* You asked her where she’s from and you’ve been there, ask her about something curious in that place, could be an original tree you’ve only seen their. A weird clerk she may know. A carnival you’ve witnessed.


* Observation.

Chaos is your friend. Use it.

See a girl cracking her fingers [I was in a cyber café] “You’ll have arthrose little demoiselle !
You won’t be able to open your msn, you won’t be able to chat on facebook with your 400 virtual friends.. God ! You’ll lose your Virtual life !”

Each things opens other topics : Little tics we have, facebook, her being a geek [oh she HAS 400 friends on facebook], people knowing each other only online these days and living more virtual than real life, losing human contact, THEN taking it to the other way : Talking about people you’ve known on the net and this being a great experience when you open your mind. See ? You’re waves taking her wherever you want.

Of course, if you are the kind of guys that would like to come in a Bat Mobile or be hung to the roof by a Spider string or come through the building flying high in the sky, then looking at her and taking her so the pickup would be ‘cool’, these things would bore you.

At this point, you know that it’s not really what you’re talking about, that it’s the way you talk about it and describe things.

At this point, I could talk about almost anything, and it would be interesting to hear. I was introduced to a group of girls who were really busy studying. There was another guy stranger to them too. When he talked, they continued to write, heads down. When I talked, they just dropped the pens, leaned over me eating every word and being amazed.

What was the talking ? Well, the guy talked about his last holidays, jumping with a parachute.

I talked about the sent of cocoa butter I use, I talked about my acne years ago, medication, talked about the proper way to shorten a jeans, how good sport makes persons feel, bodies and so, about my nephew who loves anal sex, or my 4 years old niece liking to be punished[this is bizarre].

Now, if you were chosen to hear something, of course you would want to know about the parachute. The guy had an INCREDIBLY exciting story. But didn’t know how to tell it.

I talked about me varnishing doors in my sister’s house, and how I did it. Sanding with glass paper. Rough than more and more soft, until It became like a baby skin.

Then giving it the right tint. Then letting it dry. Then putting the first coat of varnish carefully dosed with white-spirit.

And this is a technique itself, having the right stroke, the right way to brush, being clumsy in the beginning, and getting better everytime I did it, having the almost perfect brush stroke.A professional told me that he wouldn’t do that, because it would cost a lot to the clients. He was amazed.

See ? It’s only wood. But the way you tell it communicates a lot.

This guy would have told something like “Yeah, I was in a salon de thé and ate a dessert” while I would say “It’s really cosy there, the waiter brought it in a white porcelaine dessert plate. I ordered a ‘Fondant au chocolat’ … You see the chocolate cake, and inside, there is really hot chocolate liquid. You take your spoon, you tear the cake, and HERE it IS… dripping like magma, the hot liquid is getting out… You smell the caramel flavour mixed with it, and sometimes, you could even see fleeting traces of the butter floating.

You take your spoon, you take some cake, you mix it with some chocolate, there is an ice cream ball near to the cake, vanilla flavoured. You take some of that too, you mix it all, and you put it in your mouth…. Aaaand HERE. is where the magic comes, the contrasts, the cold ball with the hot liquid, the chocolate flavour and the vanilla cream, you don’t know what is what, it’s confusing and the only thing you know for SURE.. is that your palate is exploding and it feels great, and this is the only important thing.


See ? One fact, different ways. This is about the ‘boring topics’. Yeap there are those, but being able to reduce the bore of them and present them in a different way is good.


Now, the most important skill : Know when to talk like this, and when to talk like that.


I don’t talk like this every time. The important trait is CONTRAST. You don’t want to be the “sunset describing” guy. You don’t want to be the guy who “doesn’t get it” neither.

It’s a balance.

Blaise Pascal put it right, the ‘honest man’ talks about what we were talking when he entered the room, he’s no mathematician, he’s no poet, he doesn’t like labels.

ABOUT GETTING RESULTS FROM CONVERSATION :

One of the most effective ways of selling something, is to not try to sell it. See in the example above where I talked about chocolate ? I didn’t tell her “eat that it’s great”. No, I just directed her mind to think about it, and want it so bad, she would grind in her chair, and make her mouth water. Guess where you’re going to use that ?

* About being witty :

There is looking for something to misinterpret in what she says, and saying something witty like in “Let’s do it” and you say “Now ? here ? I don’t have a condom” …It may be funny SOMETIMES.

Let’s do some role reversal here : The most powerful thoughts are those that you think were YOURS. Because you accept them without resistance.

So, instead of being witty, be the innocent one. This is especially useful in the beginning, before you’ve slept with her.

HOW ?

Well, in the beginning, it’s your way of being that suggests sex. She’ll say that you’re are sexually obscessed. That it’s only sex that is important to you. Here, don’t defend yourself, don’t answer or try to be funny.

Later, MAKE WHAT YOU TELL WORDED IN A WAY TO BE MISINTERPRETED.


You say something like “Let’s do it” And she starts to smile like if it was something sexual you’ve said. But you keep a Straight face, like it’s innocent. But you know exactly what she’s thinking. When she has fucked you in every imaginable way in her mind, fucking you for real is just the natural way it goes. She has slept with you in her mind, it was meant to happen for real then. Her thoughts, not resisted.
Say a things that you know will be misinterpreted BECAUSE she knows you are sexual. She’ll not stop thinking about it. But what makes it powerful, is that you are ‘inocent’. It’s HER fantasy to fuck you savagely. Proper eye contact here, nothing must escape from your eyes. Unless after that you say “Oh god ! Unbelievable, you’re so obsessed ! You don’t think about anything else do you ?” HER fantasy.

* About suggesting things and sex talk:

There are rough sellers, who will talk to her and tell her how much they are good, how much it will be pleasurable to her and this and that.

And there is “asking for advice” : Here, I’ll talk to her like I talk to my buddy. I’ll tell something that happened to me with a girl. Something I like to do in a NON SELLING way.

I just talk about it and how it felt good and how I miss it or something , like putting some honey on a girl’s pussy, putting it on my dick, OR using mint in it and making it heat ! Or having been with a girl in the shower, and using accidentally some tooth paste touching her pussy, and it heated so much..

Don’t have the “I know you’re getting horny look”.

You talk about it, and don’t do ‘too much’ selling it. Subtle.

Guess what she’s going to think about later at night, when she’s going to brush her teeth. Or when she lays on her bed and think about honey in her pussy and having you down on her with your mouth ? Her thoughts. They are accepted. Did you do anything to convice her ? No . Her Fantasy.

See, not your fault ! It’s HER fantasy. SHE wants to fuck you so bad. She thinks about you GOD knows why!

Finally, I know that the post is long, and maybe there’s nothing you would find useful in it :

Being curious about things, observing, using it later. You’re in architecture ? No way ! Is that Teacher still there ? I have my sister who has been there, I’ve been at her defence. Talk about what happened that day.

Not volunteering Too much info. Having her tell you “Hey, I didn’t know that you’re this and that” AND not responding “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me” This is ridiculous.

Talk about human interactions in an interesting way, you’re not a shrink. Avoid at all costs the ‘technical’ parts. As I said, there are guys who ‘explain’ things to the girls, hoping that this will make them appear “knowing”.

My opinion on explaining things and being her Dr Phil ? People have loved chocolate hundreds of years before they’ve ever heard of PEA.

You don’t need to ‘know’ what’s in there to totally love it. Don’t explain to them, BE it.

Telling stories that never happend to you, just to highten your value ?

I say live things, open your mind, share and make it cool to share with you.

You talk about food, she’ll mention a dessert that she knows how to cook, ‘guide’ her to describe it : nothing like “Well, describe it to me” . No, a lot like “Ah, isn’t it the plate that contains this and that” .. and she goes “No, it’s this and that”… once you put her in a ‘descriptive’ mode, she’ll do the rest.
Show her that you’re interested in it [don’t need to say, that if you really are, ENJOY]
She talks about something,tell her “Oh, how would it be if you add garlic ? I just love garlic” Who doesn’t ? It makes food taste better.

Like she describes something, it’s clear that it makes your mouth water. Show it. They are like little girls when it comes to stuff like that. They WANT to show you stuff. They WANT your approbation and validation. That puts them directly in their childhood when they just made their first cake and wanted to show it to their father SO BAD !

I have nieces, some are 6 years, others are younger and it is the exact same reaction the 25 years old girl has, the same face she has, when she WANTS to show me what cake she made, or something she has done. EXACT SAME THING.


Keep in mind that It is HER story. Don’t ‘take’ it by force. Guide her. Put her in a descriptive mode. But it’s HER story. When you talk about something you absolutely LOVE, It’s annoying to be interrupted every time.

Look at how good journalists do an interview. They’ll direct them into the topics they want, but LET them talk. They’ll inject some word or comment from time to time. That’s ALL.

This is it, I hope you’ll take what was in that post and make it Oil.

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