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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=99407&fid=105
As a background, for the first 15 months I was with her, there was no sign of LSE...she's an HB10 model, does calendars and commercials and was a finalist in Maxim hometown hotties. She had dropped out of college 10 years ago but is now enrolled in a technical institute to try to get her associate degree...She works in retail and makes $13/hour. I am not one who cares about any of this shit, all I need is a woman who treats me right and who is willing to grow with me...but apparently, our different status unfortunately caused a rift in our relationship. I have two master's degrees (engineering & business), I speak 5 languages, I play the guitar, I am an instrument rated pilot, and I've traveled the world, plus I make a 6-figure income. But I never made her feel inferior because those things mean nothing to me...
Besides a little jealousy when I look at or talk to other girls, I couldn't really detect any serious LSE...I mean she always responded properly to compliments, and she seemed strong and independent...I would've never imagined that she could have LSE... However, later in the relationship, when I criticized her for something, some weird comments started surfacing, for example, if she treated me with second class behavior, I would criticize it and she would say "I'm second class and you're first class, I'm a piece of shit who make $13/hour and you make 6 figures"... Another example, when I told her "why are you silent?, can't we have a stimulating conversation?" She would say "Well I don't have a college degree".... and I'm like WTF???? Towards the end of the relationship, she really treated me like shit and I was astonished and everytime I criticized that behavior she would say something along the lines of "I don't feel I can be myself with you" or "YOu don't love me for who I am" or "I'm not good enough for you". This puzzled me because I swear to God I never brought up any of my life accomplishments to her...
Out of the blue today after 2 weeks of silence, she sends me this email:
"I am a very strong, confident person. However I do get insecure about things sometimes and to be honest, I don't feel like I'm good enough for you. You can say I'm being rediculous but this is how I feel.
I cut off all contact with my ex-LTR 2 weeks ago after I tried to give her a last chance and she still acted shitty...
I been thinking and the thing that's been bothering me the most (and it's what u been telling me for months), is how I could possibly treat u so bad. You have never done anything for me to justify treating u that way. I mean I just confirmed to myself my feeling of not being good enough for u... How could I treat u like that? I could apologize 1,000 times and it wouldn't be enough. I'm not asking for your forgiveness because I simply don't deserve it. I won't even forgive myself."
I am bewildered because this girl had it all with me... she would tell me "You're perfect, I want to spend the rest of my life with you"... Low self esteem is such a powerful destructive force... fucking amazing....I've asked this question before but I still don't understand the real psychological explanation of why LSE's end up not loving you or making your life hell... Tubarao told me I will never understand it because I'm not LSE... I do have some insecurities though and I still guarantee you that if I find a girl who treats me right and whom I love and who loves me, I will not sabotage such relationship...why the fuck do LSE's sabotage their relationships? I mean in my logical mind, if a girl has LSE and if she felt inferior to somebody, wouldn't she do anything to keep him because she knows she could never replace him?? But then again, the answer could be that LSE's are so fucked up that they don't look for their own good... I dunno...this is some messed up shit...
