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Are You Settling For Less?
by Ray Devans
of The Art of the Pickup
November 20th, 2006
This newsletter is centered on a very simple question that can have profound implications for your success with both women and life in general.
Ask yourself now:
“Am I settling for less?”
This question shouldn’t need clarification; you should be able to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ fairly quickly. But for the sake of being thorough, this question is asking if you are settling for less in all areas of your life. For example:
Are you happy with the job you have?
Are you happy with your success with women?
Are you happy with the level of success you have achieved?
If you answered ‘no’ to these questions, ask yourself if somewhere along the way you just decided that it really didn’t matter that much. Ask yourself if you used to have big dreams but gave up on them.
Chances are that like most people, you might be settling for less in at least some ways, and that you might need some motivation to move in the right direction.
Now there are a lot of ways to attack this problem, but the first thing we need to look at is something called ‘entitlement’.
I first learned about this concept from watching a TV show on CNBC called ‘The Big Idea’. It is hosted by a successful businessman named Donny Deutsch who sold his advertising agency for $300 million.
What Deutsch talks about is that one of the big determinants of success is whether you actually believe you deserve to succeed, whether you believe you are ‘entitled’ to succeed.
To put this all in simple English, the way Deutsch asks the question is;
“Why not me?”
Now normally I don’t recommend asking questions that are phrased to search for negative reasons (has to do with NLP), but for now lets just go with the flow.
The idea is that when you ask yourself this, your answer needs to be:
“I can’t think of any reasons why not me. I deserve to succeed as much as the next guy, if not more so.”
But many people really don’t believe in their heart of hearts that they deserve to succeed. And so they spend their lives settling for less.
Alright, philosophy mode off. Time to tie this in to success with women.
You have to have a core belief that you deserve to do great with women, otherwise your subconscious mind is always going to be fighting you at every step. If you don’t have this belief, when you see an attractive woman you want to approach, you will spend all your time trying to figure out the ways in which she will reject you instead of actually approaching her.
I know I am striking a nerve with you here, because it strikes a nerve even for me, even with all I know already. That is how powerful this kind of (lack of) belief is, that you might fight against it all your life and never fully remove it. That is part of why there are tricks to get around it, things like the “Immediate Action Rule” and others like it on “The Art of the Pickup»” DVDs.
But half the battle is often just simple realization. If you haven’t been asking yourself if you are settling for less, and if you haven’t been telling yourself that you deserve more, then you are probably living each day like Groundhog Day, and the cycle just keeps repeating.
So from now on, be constantly conscious of deserving more and strive for more. As it pertains to women, don’t settle for a woman just because you think she is the best you can get.
Sure, you may get shot down in the process of trying for better than what you have now, it happens to all of us. But as you start racking up your successes, you will get on a roll. And as you get more success with women, your success in other areas of your life will automatically improve as well. This happens because you feel more confident about yourself and your abilities, and other people who see your success with women will judge you as being more successful. It all becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It’s funny, because most common knowledge says you have to get success with other areas of your life first to get success with women, but here I am telling you it can work in reverse. I am telling you this from personal experience as usual. And that is where our DVDs come in.
Helping you settle for MORE,
Ray Devans
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