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Original discussion thread: http://www.fastseduction.com/masf/23/429334/
Something I have been toying with.
The problem with meeting what I would consider to be 'nice' women is that they distrust people that are smooth, or more to the point they distrust people that push all the right buttons. Sure, if you want to get laid same night, ignore what I am posting.. but if you want to game a little slower, maybe more long term, here is something that can help. I am talking about getting a girlfriend here, not an FB.
Problem is, you are shy. Of course you are, everyone is, really, on some level. At least when it comes to matters of the heart, so to speak.. things that will affect your overall life and not just the night before you. As it should when you want to have more than a one night stand.
So.. usually you will meet these kind of 'longer term' women through friends, or work.. at least that's the convention. It allows someone with real value but without the desire to flaunt it to the world to get to recognize someone else with real value, you know, slowly. More trust is involved.
And that's the real key here, really, trust. From your end and theirs. Ever try to turn a one night stand you kind of thought you might like on other levels into a relationship? Tough as nails.. because you established sexual comfort before emotional comfort, and emotional comfort is much less gratifying, and therefore much harder to implement when you've already had the pleasure of fucking. I mean, even on your end.. how do you stay interested in what she's like as a person when you've already made her moan? The problem is you've already set the tone as casual and uninterested. No more chemistry, you've already released all sexual tension. Hard to move beyond.
So, the point of this post - if you are like me, and don't meet enough women through normal occurences and have had to learn how to approach, you're in the tough position of initiating conversation and rapport with a stranger AND YET wanting to maintain that natural, slow-building chemistry. Tough to do, when you think about the way we normally learn to approach: balls out, king of the world, Mr Smooth.
So this shy guy thing is sort of an alternative, and just so you know it won't get you laid right off the bat. (edit - hahaha well, if you are cute and shy enough it might just get you laid right then and there.. but not what you should be aiming for)
The basics of it is this : you are DRIVEN to approach this girl, even though you are shy.
It's wonderfully disarming, first of all. You can almost always get at least a pity or politeness day2 or # out of it, just because they know right off the bat you aren't a creep and they have nothing to worry about. Trust, in the sense that it's important long term.
But how do you pull it off? Well, you have got to be 100% comfortable with being intimate in coversation, intimate in joke, and basically cautious to everyone in the world except with those that you know, with whom you are relievingly comfortable.
And this is how she will be able to see your real value. You are totally comfortable with people... once you have even a little bit of a connection with them. Basically this communicates that you don't seek validation, and that it comes to you anyway. You don't go out trying to win everyone over.. because you aren't totally comfortable with new people... but you are 100% comfortable with people once you know them even a bit (because you've always had positive experiences once people have gotten to know you).
This really is more tough then it sounds, because being totally comfortable with people you know only tends to happen naturally if all your best friends love you to death and ex girlfriends call you all the time. Not the case with me.
So I am going to briefly go into more specifics.
By shy guy, I mean, go ahead and feel AA.. be nervous.. but go on anyway, as if there is something driving you to approach (what I teach to my students is to balance their life first of all so that they can act on the will to meet a certain person without first thinking about how to be smooth). And, just, I guess, PLOW is the right word for the first interaction.. but don't really try to hide the fact that you are nervous. Keep on talking until you get a day2 or a #. Don't worry how you look in the process.
However, on the 2nd day, or on the phone scheduling a day 2, you shine.. because now she isn't a stranger, and you can let yourself be comfortable. What do I mean by comfortable? Well, whatever it is that you are like when you are totally comfortable.. think about how you would act around siblings, your mother (your mother is a GREAT one to remember... as weird as that sounds).
And that's it, basically. Not so much a technique as an idea that you can also toy with if you are sick of the random banging. That gets lonely after too long.
http://www.killswitchseduction.com
