AlwaysExcel is a member of the mASF forum. Acronyms used in this article can be looked up on the acronyms page. To get involved in discussions like this, you can join the mASF discussion forum at fastseduction.com/discussion.
Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=84729&fid=8
SEDUCTION=MANIPULATION
THE REFRAME: Seduction is about self-improvement and self-empowerment. Even if you gag on the thought of inner game», you've got to admit that polishing your female skillz is an area of self-improvement. Being able to attract the opposite sex is a primal need. I always felt like I was a stacked guy with a shriveled arm (my female skills) until I improved.
For those more into inner game», seduction will amplify and bring into tight focus all of your strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies. You'll get to know yourself better than you ever could and the positive changes you make will ripple into other areas of your life.
ACTING DIFFERENTLY=BEING FAKE
But a lot of people believe it's fake to act differently than how you feel. It's even called "Fake it till you make it" on here.
THE REFRAME: Look at outer game as exercising and disciplining yourself to be healthy. Having self-esteem and strength to be successful with women is healthy.
It’s just like dieting and exercise. When you start dieting and exercising, you take certain HEALTHY actions even if you FEEL that it completely sucks. After all, you’re starting out BEING unhealthy or less healthy and your feelings are aligned with this state of being. But your feelings should not stop you from changing your unhealthy actions! And the crazy thing is that people who maintain diet and exercise (change their actions) usually end up feeling better about it.
Don’t avoid self-improvement because you want to “be true to yourself.” As you live, you’re going to change whether you intend to or not. I'm a much different person than I was 10 years ago. You can watch your weaknesses get worse and your bad habits get more ingrained. Or you can take charge and make yourself stronger.
TACTICS=TRICKS AND LINES
THE REFRAME: Again, don't make it about other people. Make it about YOU. Reaction-seeking tends to make tactics back-fire anyway. Learning tactics and outer game should be about training yourself to naturally act the right way. Practicing these things will get you more familiar with operating in an emotional state that you will eventually spontaneously and naturally act out of. Practicing outer game is also about making you more expressive so your attractive traits are more evident. Use other people's reactions as a useful gauge of your success in retraining yourself, rather than making their reactions the goal.
FAILURE MUST BE AVOIDED
THE REFRAME: Look at everything as a learning experience so that failure can benefit you and the pain of failure can serve as a great reminder.
BEING SELF-CENTERED IS HEARTLESS
THE REFRAME:
FEMINISTS RUINED THINGS AND NOW WOMEN ARE POWERFUL AND MEAN
THE REFRAME: Appreciate women for holding you to a higher level of excellence. Be thankful for feminism for removing the beta economic and social bonds so that we are forced to improve our sexual/emotional aspects. Be even more thankful that we have access to more women. We don't have to be property owners to get laid with the women we want!
Likewise, view all of the obstacles and frustrating female behavior as opportunities. These are opportunities for learning but once you learn, they are all opportunities for gaming the chick. For example, correctly dealing with a shit test will attract her. Same thing with amogs and cock-blocks. TD once said that he felt amogs delivered their girls up on silver platters to him when they tried to amog him.
DOMINANCE MEANS COMPETING WITH EVERYONE AND CRUSHING THE COMPETITION
THE REFRAME:
HAVING SEX QUICKLY IS A BAD WAY TO START A RELATIONSHIP
THE REFRAME: Having sex quickly ensures that you don't end up dating her for an extended period only to experience her push for exclusivity before you've even had sex. You don't want to get stuck in the situation of her "giving you sex" in exchange for you agreeing to be in an exclusive relationship with her. Twisting your arm (dick) by offering sex for exclusivity isn't very nice. Plus, it makes more sense to decide to become exclusive with someone because you authentically like them rather than because you're horny (of course having sex with someone doesn't guarantee that you'll make a level-headed non-horny decision regarding exclusivity).
This thread is about some helpful reframes. Frames are relative and can be useful to shape the correct mindset. Take what you can use. It's not dogma. I'd love to hear some other reframes here.
A big part of my progress was to get over various misconceptions about seduction. I see the same misconceptions and negative beliefs holding up newbies. So, here are some reframes to common limiting beliefs. None of this stuff is new. I'm just presenting it in my own way since I've recently been trying to break it down for some non-community guys.
The most common impression that people initially have is that seduction is about manipulating people.
As an AFC, you feel badly so you act badly. Acting badly fucks things up for you in relationships and you feel worse. You've got to interrupt the cycle by changing both your feelings and your actions. This includes adopting alpha behaviors (and tactics) and using inner game» to change your feelings.
Along the same lines, outer game and tactics are often viewed as stuff you do to other people to get specific reactions a.k.a. more manipulation.
That leads into another point that's been made countless times, so I'll be brief: Failure hurts.
Often people have trouble with how self-centered seduction can be. It seems cold and unloving.
Being more self-centered can actually be more loving than being super-nice or overly-“romantic.” When you supplicate to someone, you're looking to get something from them, often validation. Being nice to get something is inauthentic. For instance, being with a girl because you need the validation of a girlfriend, is different from being with her because you really appreciate HER. If you want her for validation, she's just filling a slot that any girl could fill. If you're self-centered and looking out for your best interests, then you're in a better position to screen for girls you really like because of their traits.
A common feeling of newbies is anger and frustration toward women for throwing up obstacles. There's a resentment toward feminism for changing up things so much that women are on economically independant of their lovers and the traditional romantic world is all chaotic.
New guys who feel angry will try to use tactics and outer game to crush the girl (wreak their revenge on her). It's both reaction seeking and coming from an angry mindset. This is a counter-productive way to use tactics and predictably results in lots of miscalibrated harsh C&F.
Dominance does not mean crushing people. Don't try to prove your dominance to anyone; Instead, assume it. Adopt the benovolent God-father frame. Treat everyone as an asset and an employee. Let people help you. Put them to work helping you. Act as if everyone in your life is throwing down to make your life better. Even the amogs who entertain your girl for a minute or the bitchy challenging women can be useful and add benefit to your life. You'll enjoy seduction a lot more this way and it will be more about you than other people, which is helpful to your game. Because you're having fun, your C&F will be playful instead of mean.
Some people still feel weird about having sex super-quick. Society teaches us that having sex quickly is a bad way to start a relationship because it's then all about sex rather than about authentically liking a person for his or her qualities.
All this being said, I am fully aware of the zen-like paradoxes in pick-up. I don't want to get into an argument as to whether tactics are about provoking reactions in other people. They are and they aren't. Seduction is and isn't about other people.
