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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=90767&fid=173
Overcoming Oneitis
"she is the one"
Its so common, you see a girl, and something inside you breaks. All of a sudden, a flood of emotions begin to creep in, you can't stop thinking about her, and the more you think about her, the prettier and more perfect she becomes.
Well, thats the nice side of it, for whats thats worth.
How to win against oneitis:
1) The first step, is knowing what oneitis is, and realising its oneitis. (this step is hard)
2) Commiting To PREVENTION:
3) Quit Thinkin About Her:
The best prevention, is just not to think about her very much.
There are some basics:
>1. Look and remember 7 different items immediately around you.
>EXAMPLE:
>Wait...
If you do it right, you won't be able to even remember what you were thinking about. And thats the point. To distract yourself.
- Avoid paying attention to anything that rattles your state in field (mark them down if you have to "focuses to avoid", then write the focuses, and whenever they come up, you know not to focus on them)
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
The Second Step:
Say No To Permission and Recognition
Pickup isn't about getting a chick to give you permission , nor is it about making her recognise that you have a certain trait.
Create an experience, and captivate her to share it with you.
Its NEVER, about permission.
Its ALWAYS, about experience, right now!
$$$$$$$$$$$$
The Third Step:
Accidentally Look Good
Go to the gym. Learn to love the gym.
Learn to love it, enjoy the gym, and its an awesome hobby. I wouldn't go without the gym, its amazing. (doesn't take long.. after 6 months, some great results.. First three months are hard, then gets easy)
Wear properly fitted clothes.
Don't go overboard. Its best to adopt the attitude of, looking good, but not remembering you took the time and effort to look good.
Like an invisible bonus.
Hopefully in a years time, you look good, smell great, taste greate, feel good, and still think you are just the same old you.
People will be telling YOU, what you have done. And you will (because of your mastery over oneitis) just gently distract from the topic and move onto experiencing something satisfying with them.
Also eat healthy.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
The Fourth Step:
Enjoy more when around women
The hardest, yet the most important.
This step is the hardest, yet the most important.
Get out of your head, and learn to enjoy yourself more, when interacting with women.
Focus more on the little pleasures, that come up. Focus on the good feelings. The satisfying feelings.
This is where all good game, grows FROM.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Step Five:
The Search For Satisfaction
Stop thinking,
Its always about creating an experience both of you can enjoy. Where you feel better for being around each other. Do something more, by being with each other.
Enjoy more, around women. And Never get the girl.
Be a ditz, be stupid.. Do whatever you do. But just don't think getting a girl is even an option. Its not what you want.
I don't want the girl, I want satisfaction.
$$$$$$$$$$$
It is my honest opinion, if you master each of these fundamentals. You will be atleast be able to achieve that satisfying incling of a feeling that suggests mastery, and contentment over your love life.
And you will go "yeah, I really CAN do this!".
- Cosy
The Big Five:
Oneitis
Reduce these, refine your mastery over them, and increase your success.
This is for beginners, or any others, struggling against the big five.
Its my opinion, that this is WHERE to start.
First Step:
"this girl is different"
"there is this one girl"
"I can't stop thinking about her"
"I've never felt like this before"
The bad thing is, that this is one of the big five. Its standing in the way of you, and women.
Because, seeing women this way, really blocks you from seeing their true worth and awesomeness.
It stops you from finding what you really like about interaction with the opposite sex.
2) The second step, is truly committing, to never letting oneitis take root. To get the fuck rid of it, before it gets a hold. (sometimes this is really hard)
3) The third step, is knowing the method, and the most reliable preventions.
1) Identifying Oneitis:
Disney, is the best way to describe it. Everything you have ever seen on most movies with a fairytale ending.
That kind of high, yet sickeningly sad feeling.
Thinking about the chick. Any signs of elevated thought about the chick are strong warning signs.
If you think things like, marriage, growing old together, that she doesn't like sex.
Danger, danger, danger!
Perhaps everybody needs to learn a lesson the hard way.
Its tempting to just go "nah, it feels good, I'll stop it when its a problem".
But the most dangerous thing about oneitis, is when you reach the point "its okay to have oneitis" or more commonly "ITS NOT ONEITIS ITS REAL".
Thats why its so dangerous to leave it to grow, because, the longer you wait, the harder it will be to get rid off.
You have to make the decision, as quickly as possible, knowing well, that it will not get easier, but HARDER.
Don't focus on her, and oneitis can't grow (oneitis is like a weed, it grows, the more you focus on her)
1) Don't see her, more than once or twice a week. (guide, not rule)
2) Have hobbies, and interests, AND get involved in them! (definate RULE)
3) When you start thinking about her, focus on something unrelated, distract yourself.
- Get active
- Stack your short term memory
IE: (using an example from kam)
>2. Repeat to yourself what they look like, what they are.
>3. You must remember ALL of the items you are trying to remember.
>4. You will see that after short-term memory stacking, you'll forget about the girl that blew you out and not give a shit.
>(Kam gets blown out by HBModel in a club)
>Kam: Shit, I just got blown out... fuck.
>Kam initiates memory stack:
>Kam looks at the DJ.
>1. The DJ is wearing a red shirt.
>2. The turntables are Technics.
>3. There is a green light above his head... remember Kam, remember this shit.
>4. The stage has a large silver screen in the back.
>5. The DJ is wearing a Yankees cap.
>6. The DJ looks like my friend Warren... wait, am I remembering all the other shit>I'm supposed to remember? Red shirt, Technics, green light... silver screen... fuck. okay....
>7. The DJ is talking to a girl in leather pants.
FOR MORE ADVANCED: (more infield)
- Avoid focusing on other peoples opinions
- Avoid focusing on a womans intimidatingness
- Avoid focusing on your looks and qualities (ie, am I attractive?)
- Avoid focusing on "what women think of you", or what anybody thinks of you for that matter.
- Avoid, formulating "plans" and ways of "gaming" a specific girl. (all it does, is make you invent bullshit in your head, then you create a tech, for the bullshit.. so don't do it, or if you do, have a very light touch)
This may be via a vibe you have, and her just loving being a part of the interaction.
I don't care what it is, just so long as it isn't oneitis or making her give you permission, or recognise you as something.
Its NEVER, about recognition.
I'm a fit guy, and I hit the weights, to be that little bit healthier and capable.
Get a proper or adventurous hair cut.
Spend a little money on some shoes, some clothes.
Don't be looking in the mirror.
Just look good, then forget about it.
Its about doing pickup for yourself, for your pleasure, and for no other reason.
- Not for others
- Not for greatness
- Not for getting laid
- Not cuz you are inexperienced and scared and needy
- Not because everyone else seems to have it all figured out
Enjoy life more, when around them.
Enjoy the moment more, when around them.
Think less, when around them.
Plan, analyse, think, care, less, when around them.
"I do all this, then I get the girl"
"I must be good, then I get the girl"
"I do the steps, then I get the girl"
"Oh no, I might not get the girl"
By just being around women, feel stronger, be more you, feel more pleasure.
Permission and Recognition
Bad Health
Stress
Having impersonal goals
