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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=91012&fid=146
0 approaches
aka: social chode mode
You waited all week for Saturday night. You studied masf, read the archives, kicked ass at work (or school) and hit the gym.
You're looking good, well rested, good place, lots of targets, good music.
Everything is in place for a kick ass night!
but for some reason you are completely FROZEN and can't approach that 1st set.
WTF?
You could write a book on seduction. You know what you are supposed to do, but you just can't seem to do it.
You promise yourself after you get a beer you will do approach #1. One beer turns into two, two into three. 11 pm becomes 1 am and then holy shit it's 3 am!
You slip further and further into the chode trance.
Before you know it the night is over and you have 0 approaches.
The BIG FUCKING ZERO!
* * *
Tips for avoiding the BIG ZERO
(aka set smaller goals first)
1. Open Yourself First
The first person you need to open every night is yourself.
YOU ARE YOUR FIRST SET !!!
Open yourself by "opening up" and tuning in to the non-verbal communication going on ALL around you.
This is how you tune in:
- hold ec with people a second or two longer than usual
Uninterested women will avoid your open body language» and non-verbal communication but when a cute woman HOLDS your gaze simply say..."hey!"
Not every woman will say "hey" back, but many will. These sets are WARM and are approachable right now or later.
Congrats, you have just opened your first set of the night...YOU!
Opening "yourself" draws women to you like magic. Some women will open you and with others it will seem like the conversation just started mutually.
This sort of positive reaction is great for building momentum at the start of the night and avoiding the BIG ZERO.
The opposite is when you avoid eye contact, put on a tough guy face, cross your arms and fight against the vibe of the club.
Iow, you look uncomfortable and closed off. This is just your body's defense mechanism for when you start to feel nervous and self-conscious.
You might not even be aware you are doing this. But be aware, because this type of closed off body language» contributes to the BIG ZERO. The longer you wait to approach the more closed off you become. It's a negative cycle that is hard to break as the night goes on.
If you are rolling solo and at a place you don't know anyone yet this becomes even more important
"If you are not yet able to open... at least BE OPEN" -60
Wherever you are, the people in your immediate area will open much easier. Especially if YOU are already OPEN. (see above)
The people in your immediate area all have something VERY important in common. You are ALL sharing the same space!
It makes sense to introduce yourself right?
60: We are introducing ourselves to everyone within a 5 foot radius, and you guys are inside the circle
Open the women in your immediate area first, before you start prowling around searching for women to approach.
ie. on the back wall of many bars there is a railing to put your drinks, which is near the entrance to the womens bathroom. This is a great spot to set up shop and play a game of pool. While girls wait on line (you are temporarily sharing the same space) chat them up and introduce yourself. This is just one example, each venue will have prime "meeting people" spots
other examples are waiting in line, or waiting to get a drink, anyone outside smoking
Because the women in your immediate area will open easier, warming up with them helps you build up your confidence and positive social momentum.
Plus you might as well ASSUME the women in your immediate area are giving you an AI
3. Flirt with the women who are paid to talk to you and be nice
bartender: the HOT woman who made your drink
ie. soon after I walk in
60: are you a greeter?
(I usually say this to any cute woman hanging out by the front door)
This kind of playful teasing is fun to warm up with
Although I wouldn't rely on this leading anywhere, flirting with hired guns is a great way to kick off the night and build momentum. You get warmed up socially, practice your teasing and build up some confidence.
Hired guns are usually busy, but early in the night (when building momentum is key) things are slower, so you will have a minute or two to flirt with them short set style.
Another example would be talking with people you already know
(during day game flirting with shop girls is great practice for warming up)
Review:
anytime you have bad case of AA, lose momentum or start to feel like you are in "social chode mode" go back to the basics:
1. Open Yourself First
This is NOT a replacement for approaching or an excuse to avoid it. It is simply one tactic to help build social momentum in the critical first 30 minutes of the night to help get you started approaching and avoid the BIG ZERO.
You won't always need this, but it is there if you ever feel you do.
* * *
Misc to Avoid Big Zero
- The 1st approach is always the hardest
- The 1st rejection is always the scariest
(rejection hurts way less at the beginning of the night)
- The first 30 min usually seems to set the tone for the rest of the night (Golden 30)
- When your alcohol to socializing ratio is out of balance, this leads to the BIG ZERO
- Getting mesmerized by sports on the huge TV's leads to the BIG ZERO
Tips:
sit at bar, but facing away from bar
help cute girls get drinks
opening as soon as you walk in has a very high success rate, use this three minute window to your advantage
as soon as you walk in...the first cute girl you see
60: how has this place been tonight, thumbs up or down?
nights where you have at least one rejection lead to you being way more aggressive than having no rejections
* * *
It is my contention that a persons PU & social skills are not simply GOOD or BAD but rather they are FLUID and mostly based on MOMENTUM.
+ Social Momentum
ie.
social chode mode ---> social ---> social god mode ---> rockstar ---> cockstar!
The Big Zero: The nights where you talk to no one. Not one person.
- smile warmly
- open posture: do not cross arms or legs, this includes not holding a drink in front of your chest
- take in peoples energy, vibe to the music
2. Open The People in Your Immediate Area Second
waitress: the HOT woman who served your drink
hostess: the CUTE girl by the front door who greeted you when you came in
HB: yeah
60: oh, because I don't think I got greeted when I came in
2. Open Your Immediate Area Second
3. Flirt with Hired Guns
