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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=91335&fid=173
http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=91122&fid=105
This thread included some brilliant responses and was quite possibly one of the most useful pieces of information I have seen on this board in a long time.
Picking up girls - the basics of doing it - is not quite what I'm into reading these days because I'm not doing it. I feel like I could probably score with a number of girls I work with, and every time I go out, I get a lot of girls talking to me easily. However, these days, I hit up these boards seeking advice mostly about LTR. I'm in my first-ever monogamous LTR. So now I'm learning the more complex aspects of girls. A side I have never seen before - the whole "emotional side".
What I have found is this:
"Alpha" and "Beta" concepts are strictly related to your behavior, which you can have 100% control over if you understand it. Men lose control of their emotions, which changes their behavior. This happens out of a fear, which is caused by the addiction process of love.
You see a lot of guys who want to push for the "monogamous promise" and wind up castrating themselves, for no reason but a lack of control over their own fear.
Guys will "fall in love" at some point - if you ejaculate enough times in a girl and spend a lot of time just naked in each other's arms, drying in sweat and cum, you will get hooked on the feeling like heroin. No joke.
You get so hooked on this feeling specifically because of the unique emotion you are experiencing with someone who has been with you for a long time.
For many guys, they fall in love too fast, which in my opinion, is a huge sign of weakness. Honestly, it's neediness. You shouldn't get emotional unless you've really been through some hard shit over time.
It's the same reason why Jack likes cats in Meet the Parents - they don't sell out emotionally like dogs do. Don't be a sell out, but don't be stingy either.
I'm not gonna deny the fact that love feels good, but I'm not gonna deny that heroin doesn't cause withdrawl symptoms either. The more time you spend with the girl, the quicker you get addicted, and the quicker it ruins your independence and manhood by fucking with your behavior. Move in after 5 months? Say goodbye on New Years Day.
Oneitis - which is the complete and utter dependence on the girl's feelings towards you, is a chronic condition caused by falling in love. Oneitis is the actual addiction.
The one core variable that changes an Alpha into a Beta is emotional control. Close attention should be paid to emotional control because in lies the solution to the problems of many men.
A lot of men want one girl to "love" them and give them their pussy forever - usually in the form of a tangible bond like marriage, or living together; or by verbal commitment, or "monogamous promise".
Remember at the end of Eyes Wide Shut when Alice tells Bill not to say "forever"? Stay away from words that insinuate a promise or decision.
Now by "emotional control" I don't mean "no emotion". If you read the referenced thread you can see how many posters said that in order to continue an LTR you must turn "Beta".
But when it all comes down to it, "Alpha" and "Beta" are just forms of behavior that are dynamic in a relationship. It's all contingent upon how you respond to the girl's behavior, as well as your own emotions.
Realizing the difference between appreciating something and being afraid of losing it is what builds awareness of your emotional control.
As far as my view of women in monogamous LTR, I see the glass as half-full.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side, but sometimes the grass on your side needs some fertilizer. Don't throw away a relationship if, at it's core, it works. You should know that by how well you know yourself. Pay attention to your own behavior and you shouldn't have a problem.
I was reading the boards earlier and saw this thread:
