Michelangelo is a member of the mASF forum. Acronyms used in this article can be looked up on the acronyms page. To get involved in discussions like this, you can join the mASF discussion forum at fastseduction.com/discussion.
Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=91585&fid=23
Lately I've been trying to put a finger on what separates guys who are moderately successful, but not quite solid, and guys who are amazing with women and are consistent. So far I've found three main areas.
Guys who are very good with women:
1) Flirt, and are very good at it. Tease, are very playful.
2) Escalate.
3) Has an "everybody is on my team" attitude.
The first two have already been covered a lot, and in fact recently I read a great post in this advanced section on these two areas, but I forget the author.
A little backstory:
Until I moved to New Zealand, I didn't even notice I had an "us versus them" mindset, and didn't realize how much it was holding me back. When I moved to NZ I didn't know a single person, and had to be very open about meeting new people, going to clubs by myself. Normally in Canada I would go out with my friends and basically stay with my friends all night, and competed against other guys in the club. However when I got here, I tried to make friends instead of competing and met some really cool guys, and had much more success.
Even as the PU community matures, I still find this mindset very common. Guys are fighting off "AMOGS", cockblocking friends, and some guys are even competing against the very girl they want to bring home. I don't know how, but going to clubs has become a battle for guys in the community against everyone around them.
It is time to lose this attitude. From now on, everybody is on your team, and we are all trying to have fun and meet new people. When I got to NZ, I was very open to meeting new people, and when I went clubbing, because of my attitude, people were friendly and welcoming, and as a result, I made some very good friendships with some very cool guys.
I have one particular buddy who is very friendly and will talk to anyone about anything at clubs. When I went out with him, by the end of the night he was always stopping and talking to random groups of people he had met during the night.
Social proof is a funny thing. Those who write e-books and make programs always say that social proof is a key to having success. However most of the time they are talking about social proof in a context of going to a bar where you already have a lot of friends there, knowing staff, and having already fucked some of the girls.
Those of us who have been to clubs enough know the feeling. You walk into the club, and it is like a high school/college reunion, where you are running to old friends everywhere, and can't even go to the bathroom without getting stopped.
The thing is, you could accomplish this same sort of thing going to a club by yourself in a foreign country. Be friendly, talk to people, introduce groups to each other, help guys pickup girls, talk to the staff, even buy a round for a group of cool guys you met, and by the end of the night you will be very popular and have a lot of social proof, just because you have the "Everybody is on my Team" mindset.
I'll point out the benefits in case you can't see them.
First off, you might meet some cool guys who could end up being good friends. This has happened to me many times in New Zealand. Having more cool guys to go out with is never a bad thing.
Next, by bringing this community atmosphere to a club or bar, you will become a leader. You are the only guy who seems to know everybody. You will also be well connected, and will be building a larger social circle with every night out.
Third, you get a lot of free stuff. I'm not kidding. If you're a guy who is offering value, you will be getting free shots and drinks all night. Free drinks from your new friends, free shots from bartenders, etc...
I met a fellow Canadian guy at a bar here in New Zealand when I was with another Canadian, and I offered to buy the first round, and by the end of the night he had voluntarily payed off my bar tab, and introduced me to his hot friends, one of which I brought home that night.
Another night out I was very friendly and generous to a bartender, by the end of the night I was so drunk from free shots that I could barely see. I spent $30 on beer and ended up getting at least that much worth back in free shots.
I have tons of these stories. They were all a result of being friendly, having fun, and bringing value. It is another one of those self-fufilling prophecies. If you think that everybody is on your team and with you on your adventure, they will in fact be on your team.
I haven't even really talked about the positives regarding women yet. If you think that the hot girl's friends all want you to succeed, in the end they will probably help you in hooking you guys up. As soon as you lose the "I need to steal her away from her friends" mindset, you'll see that the friends will end up helping you take her off their hands.
So next time you walk into that club, just look around and see how big your team is. Sure, there will be those couple assholes who are just at the club to fight, but when you are friends with the staff, they'll be sure to deal with the assholes and help you to have a good night.
I still notice this as a very big problem in the community. Here are my views:
