TheCostOfSuccess is a member of the mASF forum. Acronyms used in this article can be looked up on the acronyms page. To get involved in discussions like this, you can join the mASF discussion forum at fastseduction.com/discussion.
Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=94716&fid=23
Basics
Correct Training
So here is a basic rundown of what that all entails..
1) Oneitis
You should find out what oneitis is, and start on the road to conquering it for yourself. Recognising that this isn't love, but that if you are actually after true chemistry with women you have to start looking elsewhere and find something that is more meaningful to you.
This might require you to overcome such things as depression, improve your lifestyle, improve the kinds of things you focus on during the day, and improving the management of your time, and how much "dwelling" you do on particular women.
It will require you to learn how to get perspective. How to let go of an idea, and get involved in something else, so that you can come back later with a more fresh dynamic and helpful view of things.
It will require you to be able to INSTANTLY recognise oneitis, and to understand very well, that if left unchecked it WILL GET WORSE, and harder to erradicate if LEFT.
2) Moving on from shit
Well, "shit tests" used to be pretty common talk on the forum. Personally I think its good that such talk has decreased because of its negative connotation to the woman and the situation. However, the LESSON to be learnt here is at the UTMOST.
The lesson is, that when faced with difficult situations from women, to learn how to EFFORTLESSLY and without notice, move onto, something more productive.
You have to learn to recognise when a situation can only get worse.
3) Not being betafied/controlled/or turned into just another orbiter in relationships
Guys over in relationships talk about it all the time. That when in a relationship, you can't allow yourself to be put into the posistion of under the thumb. Its not benificial for either party, and actually might have to do, with cuckolding instincts ingrained in the woman.
4) Some general grooming and lifestyle changes.
HOBBIES HOBBIES HOBBIES..
FASHION
You don't need to spend a million bucks or look tryhard. Just makesure every shirt you get FITS YOU PROPERLY, and secondly, spend a little money on a couple of outfits if you have to. You don't need heaps, you are a guy. Get one decent pair of stylish shoes (girls have a total fetish for shoes.. capitalise )
3 day long stubble is cool too
GET HEALTHY/GYM
SMELL GOOOOOOOOD
GET OUT/BE SOCIAL/NETWORK!
Pretty straight forwards.. If you have the choice between sitting at home reading a book or going out to a park to read it.. Choose the park
5) How to handle slumps, and recognise funks
90% of the issues I see evolve on the forum, have no defineable core..
Some of these posts are KJ, others are just IMPOSSIBLE to give constructive advice to, and you often find yourself (even if recently getting back from field) getting "creative" to help solve this guys particular peev of the week.
So you have to learn WHEN YOU ARE IN A FUNK.
Time + Experience = "Oh shit, I was thinking it was some other way.. dunno why"
So for the most part, "solving" these "issues" is totally irrelavant, and its more productive, to focus on things that are more interesting and productive.
6) At times of clarity, and most chance for accurate insight, Work on your seductive skills and experience new things!! (grow)
You have to learn that bad nights out, don't mean JACK.
Good nights out, INCREASE your perceptive abilities to understand what is going on around you, and its just at this time, you SHOULD be enhancing your seductive skills, indulging in creativity, and putting down points to remember for later.
YOU SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS AT OTHER TIMES. Or dwelling on how to seduce when your mind isn't good and ready.
(If you need more on this, bring it up with me, and I'll keep posting stuff on it now and then, this isn't on the forum perse, but it should be in my opinion)
If you focus on these, you'll have covered most of the TRUE basics.
If you have all these down, you shouldn't REALLY have any issues you can't solve for yourself, and investigate with your own curiousity and creativity on good nights out, doing a bit of exploring and adventuring.. And then we should see you on the Field Reports board!
I actually RARELY, see people who have gotten the basics down.
Most have grooming down, most get the whole cuckolding thing, but haven't truly formed their opinion on it, or developed their understanding of it.
I'll go over some general things people miss, in general..
Just a quick rundown
1) Oneitis
2) Moving on from shit
3) Not being betafied/controlled/or turned into just another orbiter in relationships
4) Some general grooming and lifestyle changes
5) How to handle slumps, and recognise funks
6) At times of clarity, and most chance for accurate insight, Work on your seductive skills and experience new things!! (grow)
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This is basically THE one internal issue you DO have to sort out, or you WILL have relationship issues, almost garunteed.
You have to learn that it gets harder the longer you leave it, the longer the chemicals affect you. So you have to learn to recognise that, and act swiftly.
For you to be the rock, and make sure that the situation is always focused on the best thing you could think of.
And secondly you have to learn how to STOP, getting into back and forths, that will only get worse through exploring it further.
Thirdly, this requires you to understand how to EFFORTLESSLY move on from certain topics, and move into better territory.
Be careful that you are her lover, not her servant.
This requires certain things, and they can be discussed with guys over in relationships.
Can't stress enough, that you need some PASSIONS in your life to focus on and put your energy into. Or just like that talented kid at school that wasn't challenged enough, you'll get up to all sorts of self destructive behavior, and you'll be bored as hell.
Hobbies can actually make WORKING even more fun, cuz you can be thinking about hobbies etc. Its a wonderful thing.
It makes your romantic and seductive life better because you have things to focus on that are constructive, will help you connect with people, and meet new people with similar interests.
Simplest understanding is to clean up a bit, get some TAYLORED PROPERLY FITTED clothes..
Stop wearing worn out runners, loose baggy pants, and baggy/worn/unironed shirts.
Anyways, you can discuss all this sort of stuff in lifestyle.
Get to the gym, change your eating style to healthier forever etc..
If you have to spend some money and time on getting a good smell, then do it
Get female opinions etc etc etc
Go out regularly..
Start slowly dipping your toes into different scenes, see if you like any of them etc.
Just get away from work and home rut.
CORRECT TRAINING
They technically just come from a guy that isn't feeling to good. That is making up problems in his own head that don't necessarily actually exist.
This may stem from a lack of direction, but more commonly stems from when a guy sits at home, and starts thinking about things.. All of a sudden he dwells on things, invents problems, invents proof to back it up, and just starts feeling worse and worse and worse, until he posts something he thinks is a real issue.
You have to understand, that getting into a funk, is gonna cause you to believe all sorts of stupid impossible to solve problems, and you have to understand that 90% of them are all solved the same way.
Watch a movie get a hobbie etc.
You can't take any useful knowledge from them.
You have to take your knowledge from your good nights out, and you also have to try to PROGRESS on nights out, that are actually naturally better than normal.
Its called INGRAINING BAD HABITS, and you will do it, if you don't limit your progress to times of BETTER SUCCESS.
Okay, so thats basically it, I might of missed some minor things.. But you SHOULD be focusing first and foremost on getting these things handled and DOWN.
Finding people that know about them, and asking them questions that don't pressume you know all about it. (try not to just get randoms answering, cuz as like any forum, people do just post opinions.. its both good and bad.. Just make sure to get some more expert imput here and there)
Other basics like eyecontact, tonality, posture, vibes, isolation, should fall under number 5. Investigate them when you are feeling better and are more likely to have clearer unemotionally biased results.
Still applying oneitisy stuff to interactions..
Still not quite understanding how to just move on, and make things more productively focused/centred..
And I personally think its very important.
