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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=97520&fid=146&FirstTopic=180&LastTopic=209
I have realized that at least for myself, this is almost 100% an issue of how committed I am to making something happen (having a plan, but not to the extent of micro-analysis). If my goal is just to open a girl, maybe in a particularly difficult situation, then often it seems satisfying to just get the hell out of there at the point. But I usually regret those situations later. So it pays to set your END goal. Even if you are working on the little steps to it, you never know when a girl will be willing to help make your goal a little easier.
Also, this bailing and not planning logistics is a matter of laziness. Not knowing what you really want and therefore not being the one to push and lead the situation.
So here's how the logistics come into play: I like to have at least a rough idea of what I would like to do, not just in terms of the seduction, but as in for how to physically move through the seduction, keeping in mind the normal places I go to(not a new concept, but important as it applies to this topic): Some examples: Where would I want to take a girl to immediately after meeting and opening her and reaching the point where she¡¦s ready (coffee, bookstore, bar, weird shops, etc..) And then where after that, and then so on up until my place, her place, or wherever you can isolate (I have my idea on a few great dressing rooms in the metro area I'm in at the moment ) Along with these physical markers, which are just a rough draft, I try to know my other progressions that would ideally take place in the actual seduction. This takes a lot off my mind so that I can enjoy the whole thing and not be thinking too much.
Of course the unexpected can and does happen, but there is something to the mindset of having a plan, that if it is thrown off (not by her, but by contingencies; ex. outdoor plans- and it starts raining), then you still have that momentum of deciding "Yes, 'I' am the one who will make this happen," and don't get personally thrown off.
So an example of how I screwed this up recently:
I commented on some weird guy dancing on this street corner (yes I like to open with put downs of others!), to the girl next to me, and she responded after laughing and she was exhanging the heavy artillery smiles and glances. She even said something funny in return, which I love in a girl. I laughed, and we talked more for a block or so before we crossed this next street, and it turned out as we were crossing the street that she was turning while I was going straight (I did have a destination). Now she kind of even hesitated, in fact my lack of decisiveness is what made this situation awkward, nothing about the initial comment/opener/conversation. She said somewhat disappointingly "Well it was nice talking to you, have a good night." And we walked our separate ways..
So basically I let this girl down. Unless she wasn't into me, which c'mon now that couldn't be the case!
I have had these situations recently, where the IOI's were in place but I never turned the corner (no pun intended, I hate them ), into making sure that I would either # close or preferably just hang out right then, when possible. For me it works best to have a direct approach to the first physical location escalation ("Hey, you seem cool, there is a great bar up in the skyscraper lets head up there.."). Some form of direct verbal escalation. You might get turned down, but hey those are the risks..
So to wrap up:
Key points:
1) Know what you want (#, K-Close, F-Close) and what is possible at the time.
2) Work on your incremental steps of progress in pickup, but also, even if it is complete KJ technically, at least have a conceived idea of how you might carry out the rest, what logistics, etc.., because it will make you more confident for the parts you are working on in field.
Then forget all of it and just go out and work on the thing you are working on. It will still be there, but won't mess you up mentally.
3) After the opener, there are other incremental steps of escalation (I speak from more experience in day game). Do not get complacent after the opener. You did a great job, and you¡¦re in, but keep going!
4) Whether you were indirect, direct, or superdirect and went up and just handed her a condom, there is a point where YOU need to move the situation, physically, in the direction you want. This is why I say if she¡¦s not down with your plan it is almost best to just write her off at that point. She needs to respect your leadership, which of course means you need to know where you¡¦re going, and LEAD, and she needs to follow.
This is an area that has usually been present in my successful seductions, and which I'm becoming more conscious of, and look to improve. Hope it makes sense and wanted to share.
Holy shit that was a long wrap up. Take care guys...
One of the Sticking Points I've had in the past, and still have occasionally, is opening and then quickly bailing, despite the fact that I had no legitimate reason to do so (ie disinterest on my part, or any type of behavior from her that would indicate it is a best bet to do so).
